TRUST IN LOVE (Lovemark #2)

11. Farrow

11

Farrow

Faith?

In a f*****g tattoo?

The girl really was soft in the head, after all.

I sniffed and moodily shifted onto my side, punching at an annoying lump of sand through my bedroll that had been digging into my rib cage for hours. This ridiculous quest just kept getting stranger and stranger, and I had no idea how to deal with it.

And all Nicolette had to say was to have faith; it’d all work out.

I snorted. What a bunch of codswallop. I had a bad feeling her naïveté was going to land us both in some serious trouble before this was over.

So certain of it, in fact, that I’d gotten basically no sleep throughout the day, worried about what was to happen with her.

Now, the sun was beginning to tip back toward the horizon, and I knew I should get my tired ass up, wake Nicolette, dole out some rations to eat, and pack away our camp, but I just lay there, trying to devise a plan that saved both her and Sable.

For there was no way I could lead this woman into any kind of harm. Innocent kittens should be protected. Not strangled.

“I take it you’re ready to get back on the trail,” her voice, rusted with sand, said from the other side of the horses.

Surprised she was no longer asleep, I sat up and checked on her.

“You’re awake.”

She sent me a drowsy smile as she sat up as well and stretched her arms above her head, making her breast strain against the silk front of her dress.

My mouth went dry. I hoped she’d packed different traveling garments. I wasn’t sure my sanity could handle seeing her like this for long. She was too beautiful for her own good.

“Your impatience woke me,” she explained before pushing to her feet and immediately rolling up her bed. “Not that I blame you. If my mother’s life depended on my immediate return, I’d be anxious to get back to her too.”

Once she had her bed packed, she began to rouse Caramel and load everything onto the horse’s back.

“You’re really willing to help me, aren’t you?” I surmised, still sitting there and watching her. “You’ll come with me, across a land where people hate you just to provide a single tear for my ailing mother, even though you abhor magic?”

“Of course,” she said. “I know there’s good magic out there. Plenty of it. And I would never begrudge it to a person in need. I just don’t trust myself personally handling the stuff.”

I nodded. “You are a rare and kind creature, princess. Thank you.” I finally stood to assist with preparing everything.

She sent me an odd look. “I would do anything for you, Farrow.”

My eyebrows lifted. Anything? I couldn’t help it; my mind went there.

“Especially that,” Nicolette added, her voice heavy with desire as she winked.

I pulled back sharply, barely able to see her sly smile in the dwindling sunlight.

“I like how your lust feels,” she told me. “It’s so heady and intoxicating. If you ever want to put the emotion into practice, I just want you to know, I’d be most willing to—”

“No,” I cut in sharply, my voice strained. “I mean, we probably shouldn’t.”

By God, the woman had just told me she’d lie with me any time. No way could I just shrug that off. A groan rumbled from my throat merely thinking about it.

But it had to be the vilest idea imaginable.

I knew I wasn’t a particularly honest man. My morals were loose and my sense of ethics all out of whack, but this went against even my standards. I’d never been so deceitful to someone I felt didn’t deserve it. And the only thing worse than all these lies I was feeding her would be to take her virtue as well.

So I absolutely could not sleep with her.

“Princess—Nicolette.” I shook my head in an effort to get myself under control. “Time is of the essence here. My mother…”

Damnation. Lying about my mother made the whole thing even shoddier. But we honestly didn’t have a moment to spare for a dalliance right now. Besides, taking her innocence by deceit would be the worst, the most horrendous action imaginable.

“You’re right,” Nicolette said. Thank God. “I’m sorry. We’ll have all the time in the world for that when we make it to your home and save your mother.”

Her words made the guilt swell, but I hid the expression with thoughts of my mother to mask it. “Right,” I rasped, the word strained as I agreed. “After we save my mother.”

Damn, she was going to hate me when she learned the truth.

Even though we’d rested the entire—er, at least a portion—of the day, traveling seemed to wear heavily on Nicolette that night.

I could tell by the way she yawned every time she tried to speak, only to give up the effort after a spell and fall completely silent barely two hours into our journey.

When she nearly spilled out of her saddle after nodding off, she apologized profusely. “I’m so sorry. I guess it’s taking me a bit to adjust to this ‘riding at night and sleeping during the day’ business.”

“Think nothing of it,” I assured her. “I suffered from the same affliction on the trip out here.”

That was a lie, but it seemed to make the princess feel better. I could barely sleep at any time—night or day. Nightmares of Sable’s well-being haunted me whenever I tried; it was far easier to just stay awake and ride through the worry and fear.

But now, I had Nicolette to worry about as well. I didn’t want to care about her discomfort, and yet I found myself calling a halt to our travels a good hour before dawn.

“I’m fine,” she tried to reassure me, even as she practically tumbled out of her saddle when she disembarked and then had to grasp the reins to keep herself upright when her knees buckled as soon as her feet hit the sand.

I rushed over and caught her waist as she slurred, “We don’t have to stop early because of me. I can keep riding.”

I didn’t bother to answer, merely guided her the rest of the way to the ground, where she collapsed with a sigh of relief.

“Stay,” I said softly. “I’ll prepare the bedding.”

It wasn’t easy to set up the camp in nothing but moonlight, but I managed to get the job done with a lot of cursing and catching my fingers in bad spots that would surely leave my knuckles bruised.

“Princess,” I murmured, returning to her when I was finally finished. “Your bed awaits.”

But she was past hearing me, already dead asleep as she lay slumped on the sand, breathing heavily.

With a sigh, I brushed her hair from her cheeks and tucked it behind her ear so I could see her face in the moonlight.

“What a trooper you are,” I whispered.

Emotion wrapped itself tight around my rib cage until I could barely draw air. What the hell was I going to do with this girl?

I couldn’t hand her over to my father; I’d never be able to live with myself if I did.

But there was no time to return her to Donnelly, either, and then hurry back to save Sable. She’d have to ride on to Far Shore with me. It was too bad I didn’t have a friend or ally I could leave her with as I continued on toward the castle. I only trusted myself with seeing to her safety.

But then what would we do once we made it to Blayton?

She was going to hate me when she learned the true reason for my mission. I flinched merely thinking about her brown eyes filling with hurt and distrust.

And how was I going to save Sable, anyway?

A brief thought flitted through my head that I could bring another woman—someone who resembled Nicolette in height and shape and hair coloring—and give her to my father. But I was coming to realize I didn’t have the constitution to push such a fate on any female, no matter who she was.

“Damn it all.” I ground my teeth, internally battling the panic that threatened to rise.

I’d just have to figure out a way to sneak into the dungeons, past all the guards, and free Sable myself. It was the riskiest route and basically impossible to accomplish, but this entire situation was, so what the hell? Might as well try it.

I’d also lose any chance of ever being claimed by my father, but I was okay with that. His imprisoning Sable had been the last straw for me. I was finally ready to let go of my childhood dream of wanting to belong somewhere. Besides, if this worked, I’d still have a sister with me. She and I could start over fresh and build a life together, just the two of us.

As I picked Nicolette up from the ground and carried her to her padded mat, her cheek lulled against my collarbone, and her scent of honey and flowers overwhelmed me.

I suddenly wished she’d been with me in Far Shore before I’d left to seek her out. It’d taken only a day in her company for me to realize I didn’t have the heart to kidnap anyone or drag them to their destruction. If only I’d realized that before leaving; I could’ve made my attempt to free Sable nearly a fortnight ago.

Helping her escape wasn’t going to be an easy task. We’d probably both end up dead. The cells under the Far Shore castle were basically impenetrable, and I had no idea how I’d even get past the guards to reach her.

Against me, Nicolette sighed gratefully. I swallowed as I laid her on her pallet and watched her curl onto her side, where she tucked her knees up toward her chin and rested her hands under her cheek. She looked so vulnerable and trusting that I remained kneeling beside her, simply watching her sleep.

Yes, keeping her safe was imperative. I nodded, reassured by my new plan. I would definitely have to save Sable another way, because nothing evil could happen to this woman. I wouldn’t be able to stand it.

That didn’t mean I believed her crazy idea that we were destined partners or anything. I didn’t have to feel deep, abiding love for a woman just to want her safe.

And yet…

And yet I think I felt something stirring anyway.

There was something about her.

Probably just lust.

Because it couldn’t be true love. That was absurd. Love-marked soul mates didn’t exist. They couldn’t, even if I did appreciate many facets about her. She was pleasant, lacking any vitriolic or demanding aspects. I actually liked being in her company and listening to her ramble on and talk about the oddest things and tell me the quirkiest stories. Her mere presence made things seem—I’m not sure what would be the correct word there.

Peaceful, maybe.

Or clear-headed.

As I was now.

Honestly, I was a bit embarrassed to realize all these days later that the only way to truly help Sable would be to break her straight out of her dungeon cell.

We’d both have to go into hiding afterward, maybe be on the run for the rest of our lives, or until we escaped Far Shore.

My breath caught. We would have to leave Far Shore entirely, wouldn’t we? Maybe we could somehow stay in Donnelly after returning Nicolette home.

Except, no. She’d be too angry when she learned of my lies. And I’m sure her king of a brother would want my head on a platter for stealing her in the first place.

So, both Far Shore and Donnelly were out. And we couldn’t go south to Lowden or High Cliff; they were both too closely aligned with Donnelly. It would probably be best to go north to Blair, then. Or maybe Near Shore, but we’d have to cross all the way through Donnelly to get there, so that might be too risky.

Blair it was, then.

I sighed, realizing the odds of actually accomplishing all that was unfeasible, and yet I was determined to try anyway. Because being around Nicolette made me feel a sense of hope.

Her and her constant talk of trusting in that damn mark. I swear.

Glancing at her, I reached out and gently touched her hair. When my thumb barely brushed over her tattoo, energy prickled across my skin.

I pulled my hand away, surprised.

Impossible.

Her tale couldn’t be true. No amount of magic could make me love another person. But I tapped my finger gently against her tattoo five times, just to watch the sparks.

When I returned to my pallet, I was pensive and yet optimistic for the first time in weeks. The odds were against me, but at least I had a plan that didn’t make me feel sick to my stomach with guilt and dread.

That might’ve been why I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep almost as soon as my head hit my own pallet.

And why I didn’t stir when danger entered our campsite at midday until Nicolette’s piercing scream jarred me awake.