The Box
I went to my room with a sigh. Sawbuck obviously hated the Kerrs as much as everyone else in the city did, and was ready to believe any sort of lie about them.
If Joseph Kerr were alive and all these people searched for him, he would’ve been caught already!
An opened crate sat on my dresser. And what a welcome sight it was! Six bottles from the Clubb Gardens Winery.
A note lay inside:
The doctor says you must not run out of drink, or you will fall ill again. This is a token of our goodwill and desire to be of assistance.
Alexander and Regina Clubb
The Clubbs had no true regard for my health! They just wished me to stop telling Gardena Diamond not to see their son Lance!
They couldn’t have me killed after I’d warned Gardena of their plans: Gardena might be naïve, but she wasn’t stupid. So they’d promised to support me during the trial if I stayed out of the way.
Regina Clubb asked me to speak no word against Gardena and Lance’s courtship, but I’d be damned if I spoke a word for it.
Amelia came up. “Is there anything else I can get you, mum?”
“Bring the bourbon. I’m the only one who drinks it anyway.”
Amelia stared at me. “The bourbon?”
“Yes, the bourbon. From Spadros Manor. All of it. As much as they’ll let you bring.” I snorted to myself. “I’m planning a party.”
She obviously didn’t understand me. “Yes, mum.”
“Did they send any writing-paper?”
Amelia gave three tiny quick nods, her face a frozen mask.
“Bring it, then. We have work to do.”
When Amelia brought in the writing-box Tony gave me for our anniversary, I thought I might die from the poignant grief which attacked. Amelia set the box down and made haste for the door, closing it behind her.
Tony? Why would you send this to me?
He knew.
Of course. I should have expected him to know. Amelia had to go to Tony for permission to have my things sent in the first place.
Tony knew how to hurt me, more than anyone.
Inside the box were three things I didn’t expect: my moonstone necklace, our wedding ring, and a note.
Two I’d returned to him with the letter I sent with Amelia when I left Spadros Manor. The third read:
Jacqui —
I’m no fool.
You have no money. You’ll never be received in society so long as you live there. So you could only want your finery to pay whatever Pike is charging for this debacle.
The man only wants money. He does you no favors, nor will he help you once the hope of money is gone.
Each of these things you’ve taken from my home was given from my sincere and earnest regard. Yet now that I’ve seen who you are, I’m glad to let them go.
I’ve made many difficult decisions these past few days, but on this I refuse to yield: neither my son nor Miss Diamond is to be exposed to scandal. Any attempt to file for divorce, and I will revoke my father’s protection.
I won’t force you to return, but neither will I allow you to leave the city with that scoundrel. I would rather die.
Why would Tony write as if Joe were still alive?
Could he not know Joe was dead?
notTony had lied about so much: why he married me, his love for Gardena Diamond, the son they had together. But he couldn’t stand before me, look me in the eye, and say he didn’t kill Joe. So he sent this letter, then had Sawbuck come here.
Gardena, of all people, had it right: Tony was a coward.
wasI shook my head, remembering the night I thought Tony worthy of respect. How foolish I was to ever believe that of him.
* * *
After luncheon, I sat in my room drinking, the curtains closed. The bell rang. After a moment, Amelia knocked. “Master Jonathan Diamond to see you, mum. I’ve seated him in the parlor.”
“Thank you, Amelia, I’ll be out in a moment.”
“I’ll be in back sorting your things, if it please you.”
“That’s fine. I’ll call if we need something.”
“Very good, mum.”
Jonathan came to visit often, true, but every day? I wondered what this was about. I drained my glass and went to the door.
The drapes stood open in the parlor, which like at Spadros Manor faced the street. Jonathan sat with the afternoon sun behind him, his hair a glowing storm-cloud as he smiled up at me.
I had that fluttery flustered feeling again, like the day he visited before I went to rescue David Bryce ….
I realized I was just standing there. Feeling foolish, I sat beside him. “How are you?”
He gave me a bemused smile. “I’m well. And you?”
“I’m feeling quite well, thank you.”
He pointed across the way to the room beside mine. The room was packed with clothing. “You’ve brought your things here?”
“I have.” I leaned my head on my hand facing him, elbow on my knee. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
Jon chuckled. “So you won’t tell me why.”
won’tI let out a short laugh. “Mr. Pike wants me to auction it all. To pay him. The man does love his money.”
Jon leaned back with a grin. “So I hear.” He turned toward me so his knee was on the sofa between us, his arm on the sofa’s back. “Will you need help?”
“Why, if you’d like to help, I’m sure we can find work for you.” I twirled a lock of hair. “I like it when you’re around.”
He turned away, moving to sit straight on the sofa. Yet his cheeks colored. “You flatter me.”
I took his hand. “Do you wish things happened differently?”
Jonathan’s thumb stroked my finger. “What do you mean?”
“That I’d never been sold.”
Jon froze. “Your life has been very hard.”
“Jon, look at me.”
He hesitated, then his eyes became moist. “Jacqui —”
“What’s wrong?”
He reached up to smooth my hair. “Why would you ask this? Of course I wish you’d never been sold. It benefits no one,” his eyes dropped, “except perhaps Roy Spadros.” He gazed at me again. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy!”
Moved, I reached over to touch the side of his face. The sight of his skin against mine was so beautiful it took my breath away. “All I want is for you to be happy, too.” Something in his eyes drew me towards him, and his face came close to mine.
The next instant, he raised his hand to my lips. “No. This is wrong.” He jerked away, rose. “I — oh, gods, I can’t do this, Jacqui.” His hands balled into fists as he stood facing away. “I won’t do this. Not this. You have a husband.” It sounded as if he spoke through gritted teeth. “Tony has trusted me as a brother. I will not — be this kind of man!” He paused for a long moment, breathing heavily. “I refuse to betray him.”
husbandnotrefuseI felt chagrined. “I’m sorry, Jon. I —” Oh, gods. Have I lost him? “You said it before. You wish us to remain as friends.”
Oh, gods. Have I lost him?Jon went perfectly still. “Yes,” he said finally. “You’ve both been hurt enough.” He went to the door and was gone.
I wanted to run after him, to cry out, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just wanted someone to hold me,” but it was too late. I’d made a fool of myself. Jon had made his feelings clear long ago, and now it seemed I’d hurt him, on top of everyone else.