Adonis

4

A kick to my stomach has me jolting awake, my body trying to shoot up but I immediately fall back down - my shoulder screaming in pain from the knife wound. "Inside now, clean yourself up. Be quick, I want a f**k" Tom says, his once dreamy chocolate eyes were now deep dark abysses - but in some twisted way I was still just as mesmerized looking into them, the eyes of my male.

His steps are retreating to the house, as I push myself off of the ground my shoulder protesting to the movement. As soon as I'm up, dizziness hits me and bile rises in my throat spewing out onto the ground - my body trying to rid of all the silver it can, in anyway it can.

I knew I would heal by tomorrow with no scars - as whatever my mother had used on me all those years ago for my whip marks, still remained in my system and would ensure I would heal from every injury no matter how bad. The thought of my mother still, in a way, protecting me brought a smile to my face as I pulled myself together, running into the house and jumping into the shower.

Feet standing in the pool of red that was quickly forming as blood continuously gushed from my body, not only from the knife wound but from the other injuries Tom had inflicted upon me today. But I knew I would heal from all of these, that was how it was: he'd hurt me, I'd heal, he'd hurt me, I'd heal - every time I healed I became the fresh canvas again that he would paint his array of abuse on, my heart and mind twisting this abuse into some sort of love - it's because he loves me that he does this, he wants me to be better as I'm not good enough for him but he still keeps me.

A bitter laugh accompanied by my salty tears leave me at that thought; I would always try to manipulate everything he did to me telling myself the pain he caused me was a way of him showing me he loves me, he cares for me - I felt desperate for his love, clinging onto any part of him that I can. I don't care if he hits me I just want him with me, I want his love - after all he is the last thing I have left, the only thing I have and I love him with all of my being I can't let him go. I love him too much.

Hands scrubbing my body with the nicest smelling body wash I can find so I smell nice for him, shaving so my skin is smooth for him, brushing my teeth repeatedly so my breath is fresh for him, washing my hair thoroughly as I know it's his favourite part of me - he harms my body and face but never my hair, he says it's beautiful. But when he's too lost in his anger he is rough with his touch, yanking on my hair, pulling it so hard I fear he will rip it from my scalp. So I always savour the way he touches my hair with a gentleness he used to touch all of me with, my mind always flashing back to those times when he strokes my dark locks.

"What's this about?" I had asked him, as we had sat on the sofa snuggled up together as we used to do he had laughed which in turn, had me smiling as I turned to him. He shook his head kissing me "Have you not been watching?" he had asked "I was but it's confusing" I had said, the reason why I hadn't been watching was because I couldn't concentrate as he had been hugging me close to him, hands running through my hair, kissing me every now and then - he had made me swoon with every action he did.

My sweet memory is interrupted as a harsh arm grabs me, yanking me out of the shower throwing me into the counter, my shoulder smacking against the floor making me scream as pain ricochets through me. "I told you to be quick" he shouts, grabbing me by the throat and taking me into the bedroom - the grip he has on me has black spots appearing, he was very angry as I could tell by the harshness of his grip, stronger and tighter than usual as it would take me minutes to see black spots not seconds like now.

Putting me on the bed and immediately starting to undress at the foot of the bed, my eyes focusing on his body as I try to recover from my dizzy feeling. He was a muscled man, as he had joined the gym a little bit before we got married and was now always going, bulking up his muscles and constantly telling me to try to hurt him, he was stronger than me, saying I was a weak excuse for a werewolf if I couldn't hurt a human. I didn't want to harm him, in my eyes he was my male and was a human so I always kept myself in check to never hurt him. He had bulked up so much I'm sure he's physically stronger than me as I hadn't eaten properly for years now since he changed only allowing me to have half a sausage, a spoonful of mash potato and four peas every few days if I was good. If not he would only give me a cracker every week - which was the usual, but most of the time I didn't want to eat as he would call me fat, and then he would f**k other women. These would make me question myself, my once curvy body that had most male wolves of my pack staring at me was now thin, malnourished, bony - making me think I was ugly and his words and actions only fueled this so I wouldn't eat as he called me fat. The small amount of food affected me more than it would a human as wolves needed more calories.

Although I am of Alpha blood I had never been trained to fight as my father and brothers refusing to let me train with them saying I was too fragile apparently - if only they could see me now. Still, I think I could hurt Tom if I tried, I still had the upper hand of being a werewolf. And despite the lack of training I had been in countless fights since being with Tom as I would go for runs in wolf form and always be attacked by pack wolves or rogues - it was often me against a few of them and I had used these experiences to train myself, I knew how to fight, how to break bones and inflict maximum pain and I had my wolf to call on who was always thirsty for blood.

But I could never hurt Tom, never.

Punches to my ribs make me whimper in pain "I said on your f*****g knees you stupid b***h!" Tom screams at me, chucking me off of the bed. As soon as I can I crawl over to him and immediately he thrusts into my mouth, and I do what I know he likes which has him almost bursting in my mouth in seconds, my actions skillfully reining that back wanting to prolong this until he can't hold it anymore and shoots himself down my throat.

Grabbing me and putting me on the bed he enters me harshly, holding my legs up high as he pushes himself into me, his hand grabbing me by the throat and whacking my head against the wooden headboard with each thrust - my moans morphing into whimpers, then into screams as he turns me over forcing my face into the wood, nose cracking from the impact, he even breaks the wood so I get splinters and cuts mixed in with the bruises on my face. His other hand grabs mine, breaking each finger in the familiar way occasionally giving me a punch to the back, a slap on the ass, a jab at the ribs. All of this whilst he keeps on f*****g me.

He decides when we finish and he purposefully doesn't allow me a release - he is the only one who gets them, the heavenly feeling never granted to me.

"Leave" he snaps, my eyes blink away the tears like every time as I'm no longer welcome in our bed, his whores are welcome but not me.

Dragging my battered body outside, I hear him behind me on my heels making sure I trip and fall further damaging my body, only for him to kick me "Get up" he says "I can't" I whimper, my body crumpled on the floor as the silver and blood loss is taking it's toll - the lack of food only adding to my exhaustion. Another harsh kick to my stomach has me throwing up on his feet, unable to stomach the little I have in my belly.

His roar of anger has me thinking he's a wolf with the animalistic tone to it as he drags me by my hair out to the garden, throwing me on the grass kicking me over and over again screaming at me "You stupid b***h!" is what I hear, as he slaps me hard, the impact pushing in the splinters and stinging the cuts from the wood. "Disgusting, that is what you are. No wonder you are sick all the time I would be sick if I had live knowing I was a worthless piece of s**t like you" he spits, hitting me again - hands and fists slamming into me whilst his words do the same making sure I'm wounded inside and out.

I seem to pass out as when my eyes open he's crouched beside me, glaring at me "I'm having another one over, she's staying for a couple days" he tells me "I will not have her eating at my table - I tolerate her in my bed but she will not eat with me" I state, my voice being strong as I push out my pain.

He grips my throat and suddenly he plunges a silver knife into my leg "Who said you were eating at my table? You know you don't eat anyway you fat b***h. Now, for that outburst you can go into the woods tonight, to your favourite spot right Corey?" he taunts referring to the place I had been numerous times before, where he knew I always came back in terrible condition, near death that's why I only spend a single night at a time out there.

I knew we were on some sort of unclaimed land, where any wolf would wander some from nearby packs, some rogues. Tom would use a silver chain and collar on me to attach me to a tree in both wolf and human form - depending on how harsh he was feeling but most of the time he would make me go in human form, the silver binds would then restrict me from shifting - not that I even could anyway with the amount of silver he would put in me. Making me even more vulnerable, I would have to be up on full alert the whole night and many wolves now knew my scent knowing it was a chance to get at me.

It was mostly the same wolves every time, pack mixed with rogues attacking me tearing off my skin after they've laughed and mocked me. And I had no choice but to fight, never giving in because my wolf wouldn't let us be defeated she wouldn't let me take the coward's way out and let them kill me. I felt like I had let down my wolf, I had disallowed her from seeing her mate to only drag her into this life with a human I had a toxic love for and she had to deal with it.

Because of my choices she wasn't happy, I was happy as long as I was with Tom.

When I felt like giving up she would pick me up, refusing to give in to anything or to anyone, never letting us fall completely. She had often tried to take over and go for Tom's throat but I had controlled her, learnt to push her back and she had understood she wasn't to interfere with anything when it came to Tom he was mine to deal with, she hated him. As soon as Adonis and I had chosen Tom she had hated the human, knowing he was the only thing holding me back from letting her get to her mate.

But despite me constantly going against her wishes she would be there when I needed her, when our life was on the line she would fight tooth and claw as she would never give in - my resilient wolf.

As he takes me deeper in the forest my wolf is shaking her fur out in my head, standing up with ears perked, licking her fur cleaning herself before we spill blood that will inevitably be spilled. I can feel both of our energy slowly getting back as the healing starts, my shoulder wound has now closed but I don't know how strong I'll be after Tom stabbed me for the second time with silver. My wolf growls in my head, puffing herself up as if telling me that we are strong, nothing will stop her from fighting.

Taking me to a tree in front of a lake he puts me at the base of it, taking the chain out and wrapping it around the tree trunk before he clasps it tightly around my neck and leaves me without a word.

I sit on the ground, legs crossed waiting for the wolves that I know will come. The light illuminating the forest floor comes from the Moon, it's as if she's staring down at me and Her light catches my ring making it sparkle drawing my eyes to the simple ring Tom had given me at the wedding and I had never taken off since, and I had noticed he hadn't removed his either- that I knew of anyway.

Deciding to rest for a little bit to try and give my body a chance to heal with this silver burning into my neck I don't know if it will allow me to heal.

But when my eyes open again, it's complete darkness the Moon no longer there as Her eye is closed to those who have betrayed Her, rejected Her gift of mates like I have.

Hearing the footsteps get closer I see five male wolf come into my sight, as I jump to my feet they come closer with smirks on their faces "Our little play toy is back".