Found Again

Chapter 3-1

Chapter 3

Having been awoken by the sound of bird song, I left the tent and walked across the field to the shower block to get showered and dressed, all the while humming and singing to myself; I hadn’t felt this happy for a long, long time and had I seemed to have boundless energy.

Back at the tent I pulled on my walking boots, consulted a map and headed off along the coast for a long walk that was destined to get me, by a circuitous route, to Jo’s café at about midday.

As I walked I tried to rationalise the events of the previous day. Call it luck or call it fate, there was a reason for us bumping into each other and I decided that I had to find out what it was.

I knew I was on dangerous ground and that the possibility of getting my heart broken all over again was a definite possibility, however I also acknowledged that we might actually manage to restore our friendship and if I dared to let myself hope, maybe something more.

I walked for hours at a leisurely pace and before I knew it I was passing the B&B where I’d spent my first night, so I retraced my steps of the previous morning, finding myself at the top of the road where I had felt so ill at ease the previous day. This time though, despite the road still being in shade, I felt none of the chill that had made me feel so anxious the previous day and instead of my hackles rising I felt eager and excited as I strolled along the cobbles with a spring in my step.

Rounding the bend near the bottom of the road the café came into view, its blue woodwork inviting me forward and as I drew closer I could see Jo sat in the courtyard with a man, piles of paperwork spread out on the table in front of them.

I was early and didn’t want to interrupt their meeting, so I took a table inside and ordered a coffee while I waited. I could see Jo through the window and marvelled at the change in her. She was talking so animatedly, her hand gestures effusive and she looked so wonderfully happy that I had no doubt that buying this café was the right thing for her to do; she seemed more relaxed than I could ever remember in the past.

Just before midday Jo looked at her watch, scribbled one last signature, shook the man’s hand and got up from the table. She headed toward the door and her face broke into wreathes of smiles as she saw me sat inside.

‘Hi, sorry I didn’t know you were here.’ She bubbled like an excited child as she rushed over and gave me a hug.

‘Hi yourself, I didn’t want to interrupt you, I was a bit early.’

‘Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be with you.’

I watched her arse, clad in tight jeans, as she disappeared through a door in the back and I couldn’t help but feel my body respond as I remembered holding those cheeks in my hands. I knew I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but damn she looked good!

A few minutes later she came back, struggling with a large picnic hamper. I stood up to greet her, kissed her cheek and automatically took the heavy basket from her; both actions were so set into my psyche that I didn’t even think about it.

I followed her out of the restaurant and loaded the hamper into the boot of her car, noticing that she still had the same Mini. On getting into the car I was amazed – her car had always been immaculate in the past, not so much as a speck of dust had dared rest on the dashboard but now it was as much of a tip as mine, with sweet wrappers and water bottles discarded in the foot wells and on the back seat.

‘Blimey Jo, your standards have dropped a bit girl!’ I chuckled heartily.

She looked at me smiling, a look of resignation on her face before she spoke.

‘I could be a bit of an uptight b***h sometimes couldn’t I? I didn’t mean to be like that, it’s just that I had to be so organised for work and was always so stressed, I guess it spilled over into my personal time.’

‘I think you’re over compensating now though!’ and as we both looked at the piles of detritus in the car we couldn’t help but laugh, and damn it felt so good to be laughing with this woman once again.

We only drove for a couple of minutes before pulling up outside of a lovely old stone cottage with leaded light windows. Jo jumped out of the car, returning swiftly with her dog in tow.

‘Vicki, I’d like to introduce you properly to Buster. He’s very stubborn and wilful but always friendly.’

The big, black dog jumped into the back of the car and stuck his head between the seats, licking my face.

‘Well hello again to you Buster, not planning on drowning me again today I hope, maybe I should’ve brought a change of clothes just in case! Nice house by the way Jo, I assume it’s yours?’

‘Yeah, mine for now anyway. I’m renting but I have the option of buying it when my lease is up. It’s a bit big for one person though.....’

The way she said it almost sounded like an invitation but I wasn’t going to get my hopes up. It felt so comfortable being with her again; we had naturally fallen back into our old behaviours but I refused to read too much into it; maybe it was just habit. I stayed silent.

‘I hope you still like cheese?’

I’m passionate about cheese and Jo knows it. We pulled into a farm entrance and as we drove around the back she told Buster to be good and took me into a small artisan cheese factory where we sampled lots of cheeses and chatted to the owners before buying several different types.

Next she drove me to a similar set up, except this one was making and selling cider, where we settled on a wonderfully dry, crisp brew to have with our picnic.

Our next stop involved steering the car down a narrow, rutted track that seemed to be a dead end and at times I was convinced that the small car was going to get stuck in the sandy soil, the wheels spinning ominously.

Jo stopped the car and we gathered the bags and hamper that were in the boot and set off down a small path. I was ravenously hungry after my long walk and was just asking Jo how much further we had to go when I was met with a glorious sight.

Down below us was a very small and totally deserted cove and we had to scramble down a set of roughly hewn rock steps to reach the beach.

‘Wow, this is awesome!’ and I slipped off my shoes to feel the warm, soft sand beneath my toes.

‘The locals call it smugglers cove and there are all sorts of stories about its chequered history. I have no idea how true any of them are but it’s my favourite place and as it’s not obvious it rarely gets found by tourists.’

We spread blankets on the sand and Jo opened the hamper she had packed. I’m not sure what I expected it to contain but I certainly didn’t expect it hold quite so much or for it to comprise many of my favourite foods; I definitely got the impression that Jo had done this with me in mind and was maybe trying to please or impress me.

‘Bloody hell Jo, are you trying to fatten me up?’

‘I was trying to remember what you liked to eat most and then I couldn’t decide, so there’s warm lasagne in that pot, cold piri-piri chicken in that one, salad in there – sorry but I kept the celery separate, I still can’t even stand the smell, the cheese we bought earlier, crusty bread, olives with chilli and lime, cheese and onion quiche, crisps – I know how much you like crisps, ..’

‘Ok stop, I get it! There’s enough food here to feed a small army, you’ve even brought things that you don’t like for goodness sake!’

Jo was smiling but she looked faintly embarrassed, as if she’d been caught out somehow.

‘Sorry – I went a little overboard huh?’

She looked entirely vulnerable in that instant, as if my opinion meant everything to her, as if she needed confirmation that her efforts were appreciated, which they were. They were also a little frightening as if she kept this up I would lose myself to her once more; or is that what I wanted?

What could I do but wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me as I whispered “thank you” into her ear. I felt a small shudder and thought I had somehow offended her but as I pulled away slightly I noticed the look in her eyes, a look I had seen many times in the past, a look that never failed to turn me to jelly.

I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t, but before I knew it I had touched my lips to hers. It was only a light and brief kiss before my senses kicked in and I pulled away sharply, muttering apologies and trying to extricate myself, hoping to god I hadn’t ruined our day with 1 stupid slip up.

I needn’t have worried.

Jo’s arms held me fast as I tried to move back and she shushed my apologies by planting her lips back on mine, although this was no slight contact, it was a proper, serious, wonderful kiss.

I felt her tongue brush my lower lip and my mouth opened of its own volition. My conscious mind was screaming in the background that this was stupid, I was going to get hurt, I was going to have to leave again in a few days, I was setting myself up for a fall, but then her tongue was in my mouth teasing my own, her soft lips were melded to mine and the scent of her perfume was in my nostrils, her hand was on the back of my neck caressing gently and I was lost.

I wasn’t capable of conscious or ordered thought and my rational objections were driven away by the power of that kiss, by the pent up emotion that was finding release, by the sheer ecstasy of having the woman I loved in my arms, kissing me like I was hers once more.

Eventually we broke apart and this time it was Jo who tried to apologise but I wouldn’t let her. Once I was capable of coherent speech once more I ran my fingers down her cheek and cupped her chin, lifting her eyes to meet mine.

‘Hey you.’

‘Hey you.’

It was the greeting that we had generally used on waking up in the morning, on first opening our eyes and seeing each other and in that moment those two words conveyed more than eloquent poems or love songs ever could.

‘We need to eat and then we need to talk, don’t you think?’

The atmosphere was a little tense at first but soon we relaxed as we watched Buster playing in the surf and chasing gulls. We ate and drank cider, we talked about inconsequential things, we enjoyed the sun on our faces and all the while our eyes betrayed our casual demeanour. We were both stealing covert glances at each other, appraising each other; and I knew that my world had just shifted off its axis subtly.

As soon as we finished eating Buster was barking at us furiously and nosing Jo’s bag. She removed a large and well chewed Frisbee and we spent ages running around on the sand playing with the dog, laughing and joking and just being... well....us!

Eventually he tired us out and we sat in silence for a while on the blanket. For my part I know I was trying to find a way to start a conversation that I knew was going to be hard and I could only assume that Jo was having the same problem.

I didn’t know where to start as I really wasn’t sure of what to expect or hope for – either way this was a discussion that was going to have some pretty huge ramifications.

I looked up as Jo cleared her throat to find her looking at me expectantly, it was clear that she wanted me to take the initiative so I mustered my courage and let loose with my opening gambit.

‘Ok Jo, I think you know that I’m still very much in love with you and I’m getting the impression that the feeling might be mutual. How do you see things panning out from here?’

I may have had to start the conversation but I saw no reason why I shouldn’t throw the ball directly into her side of the court. She was silent for an age and I saw indecision in her eyes, as if she was worried about how candid to be but she finally sighed and spoke.

‘Honestly Vicki, I don’t know. Meeting you again just feels like I’ve been given a second chance to make up for my ignorance and stupidity 3 years ago, a chance to make amends for my mistakes and to make it up to you for the way I treated you. It feels so right being with you but I’m scared.’