You Will Be Mine (New Horizon Book 3)

Chapter 12: Gabe

This feeling of absolute peace and bliss has settled over me as we’ve been sitting here with Jeannie in our family’s secret clearing, leaned up against the same oak tree Garrett and I used to love climbing together when we were pups. Jeannie used her power to liven up the bushes and make them the most colorful that I’ve ever seen them, and the whole thing is just beautiful, and feels so right.

I’m in my favorite place with my favorite people and the child in me never wants to leave and spoil the magic of this moment.

“So, if you can start finding your mates as soon as you turn sixteen, then does that mean you guys have already found yours?” Jeannie asks, continuing the conversation we’ve been having about mates.

My original intent was to tell her all about them and then reveal to her that she’s mine, but I’m having second thoughts. On the one hand, she seems to like the idea of there being someone out there for each werewolf who is not only their perfect complement, but also the other half of their soul. She loved when Garrett told her that a werewolf isn’t complete or ever truly at peace without his mate. She even said at one point that she envies us and wishes there could be someone out there like that for her too.

That would have been the perfect place to reveal that she’s my mate, but I hesitated. And thankfully, on that one thing, Garrett refuses to take the lead. He did scold me about it over mind-link, but he agrees that it’s on me to be the one to tell her.

The reasons why I seem to be getting cold feet are not entirely clear to me, but I think it has to do with how she’s bonding with Simon but still seems hesitant about me. I don’t want finding out that she’s my mate to be the thing that changes her mind about me. I want her to accept me for me, not for being her mate.

“Well, to be clear, we don’t all find a mate the instant we come of age. That’s just when our wolves are mature enough to identify our mates should they happen to be nearby,” Garrett explains. “But yes, I did find my mate on my sixteenth birthday. It was a girl we grew up with, and she was at our party. It didn’t work out between us though.”

“I thought you said that mates are together for life?” Jeannie questions him. She may even sound a little upset about it. She really seemed to like the idea of having a guaranteed life partner.

“Yes, but it’s not compulsory,” I decide to jump in, rescuing Garrett from having to explain the part about mates that has most wounded him. “Our wolves identify our mates, and should both parties choose to accept that union and decide to mate, then it is a bond that lasts for life. But even though a mate is our other half, and we will never find another person who can complete us the way our true mate can, we can choose to reject the match and make our own path.”

“I suppose that makes sense, free will and all, but I just don’t understand why someone would do that. What could possibly make you turn down the guarantee of a happy life with the perfect person? Anyone who does that must not know what it’s like to be all alone, or what true loneliness feels like.”

I can feel Simon whimpering in my mind, noticing the same tone to her voice that I did. She must know what that kind of loneliness feels like, and it’s heartbreaking to think about my sweet Jeannie suffering through so much of her life alone like that. I’ve always been surrounded by my family and the pack, and though I’ve often wished I could be, I’ve never truly been alone. Mateless and lonely in my own way, but never alone.

Jeannie grew up rather isolated out there on that farm with her overprotective grandpa who made her hide from strangers. I never did see any other kids around there, so I bet it got pretty lonely for her. No wonder she loves the idea of mates so much.

“To my understanding, rejections are generally pretty short-sighted, and most people who reject their mates eventually come to regret it,” Garrett chimes in, probably thinking of Gabby.

She has reached out to him a couple times over the years, but he has no interest in her now. Mate or not, he knows he can’t trust her.

“And then what happens?” Jeannie presses him, probably not noticing the tick in his jaw and the way his shoulders have tensed since the topic shifted to something so painful and personal.

I can’t imagine her wanting to make him uncomfortable, so I can only conclude that she hasn’t picked up on the things I have, probably because I know him so much better than she does.

“There is a such thing as a chosen mate,” I inform her, jumping in to rescue Garrett again. “And it’s an option that anyone can pursue, even before meeting their true mate and deciding whether to accept or reject them. A bond with a chosen mate is quite like a true mate bond, except it can be broken. You can reject your chosen mate at any point, even after you’re marked and mated.”

“So it’s not guaranteed,” she muses softly. “Sounds kind of like human relationships.”

“Yes, other than the part where you still get to experience the connection that comes from marking and mating. The tingles, the link between your minds and bodies, and so on.”

We’ve already gone over that part, so I don’t feel a need to be more specific.

“I really hope you find someone, Garrett,” she adds thoughtfully. “To be your chosen mate, I mean. I hope you find someone who’ll see that you’re a good man and stick with you.”

“Thanks,” he tells her appreciatively, smiling at her the same way I can feel myself doing. “I have been talking to someone who seems promising.”

I think he means Leslie. And to be fair, she does seem promising. For him, anyway. For a while I couldn’t see past the part where our parents were trying to throw me together with her, but now that I have Jeannie, I’m seeing Leslie in a whole new light. But what I like most about her is that Garrett likes her.

“And I suppose I should add that this guy over here is a great example of how sometimes we don’t find our mates right away,” he gestures to me, smirking.

Oh, I see. He’s trying to trap me into telling Jeannie now. And here I thought he had my back.

“You’re not mated?” Jeannie turns and asks me, forcing me to drop the glare I was giving my brother, who’s still smirking at me over her head.

Although it does please me that I think I detect a hint of hopefulness to her question. Hard to say, though. She might just be curious.

“No, I’m not,” I answer her, careful not to say too much. The way she phrased her question means I’m technically being honest. But if she asks whether I’ve found my mate, well, then the jig is up.

You’re being an i***t, Garrett scolds me again.

Yes you are, Simon agrees.

It’s going to backfire on you, Garrett warns me. She values our mates and respects what they mean to us. She won’t want to get involved with you if she thinks there’s still a chance that you could find your mate because she won’t want to get in the way of what you could have with your true mate.

I suppose that’s a good point, but I still don’t want to tell her just yet. I need to think about it some more. Besides, she was asking all kinds of questions earlier about whether werewolves can mate with humans and mages, and then with how hopeful she sounded asking whether I’m mated, I think it means she’s interested. She just needs to learn to trust me.

And you plan to build trust with her by withholding a major piece of information? Simon challenges me.

Which is why I block off my mind-links after that. I’m struggling and questioning myself enough on my own, and I don’t need all their conflicting input. Of course I know I should tell her. That’s why I started this conversation in the first place. But I’ve been having second thoughts, and I just want to take some time to think on it some more. On my own, away from other influences, and yes, even away from Jeannie.

I’ve waited a long time for my mate. I want to make sure I’m doing everything exactly right, and I think that means I need to stop being so impulsive about my interactions with her. Is a little time to think too much to ask for?

I notice Garrett roll his eyes, probably realizing that I blocked him off. i***t, I see him mouth at me.

And then I notice that Jeannie is studying me intently now and wonder how much of my conversations she’s been watching.

“Everything okay?” she asks me softly, seeming almost uncertain. “Simon feels upset.”

“Uh yeah, it’s just that our mate is kind of a sensitive subject for him,” I explain, and it’s not even a lie or a half-truth.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she apologizes, a look of horror crossing her features. “I didn’t mean to prod like that.”

“No, don’t be. It was me that brought it up, remember?” I point out, reflexively reaching out for her.

She seems uncertain when I try to put an arm around her, and it finally hits me that I’ve been impulsive about giving her affection too. No wonder she always seems so uncomfortable with me. To me, it feels like she’s mine and I have every right, but I have to keep in mind that she doesn’t feel that the way I do, and if I’m not even going to tell her that we’re mates, then I shouldn’t really be acting like it either.

“I’m sorry, I just realized something,” I decide to give voice to my epiphany. “I’ve never asked you whether it bothers you when I touch you. I just remember the way you were when you first met Simon, and it was my body you were interacting with, so I guess I’ve just been taking that as your consent for me to be affectionate with you. But now that I know what I know about your abilities, I’m thinking that might not be the case.”

“Uh,” she responds uncertainly at first, still thinking over what to say. “Yeah, to be honest, it’s weird. But I know it must also be weird for you that I’m one way with your wolf and completely another with you. And I’m sure this will sound wrong, but I think of you separately even though you share a body. I’m used to animals, and not so used to people.”

“Fair enough,” I chuckle nervously, wondering where that leaves us on the issue of me touching her.

“Maybe ask first?” she says like it’s a question. “I think it will be less weird if I know it’s coming.”

“I can do that.” Or at least try. My body often seems to take on a mind of its own when it comes to her.

All three of us get kind of quiet for a few minutes, and though my mind is racing and I’m trying to talk myself into just confessing the full truth, I would still say it’s not an uncomfortable silence that falls between us. Companionable silence is more like it.

“Did we answer -,” Garrett starts to say at the same time that Jeannie begins saying, “You know something strange -”

“You first,” Garrett insists.

“Actually, I want to know what you were going to say first,” Jeannie tells him.

“Alright. I was wondering if we answered your question about our parents and their unique relationship,” Garrett explains.

“Not directly, no, but I’m guessing they’re mates,” she answers. “I haven’t fully figured out how that works from what you were saying about how there’s two halves to a werewolf soul and they’re reunited in the form of mates, though.”

“It’s because of how it works for twins, which is what our dads are,” Garrett explains. “They’re twin brothers. Werewolf twins are described as ‘two hearts with one soul,’ which basically means that our mom’s soulmate is both of them.”

“Oh,” she sounds both surprised and pleased. “That’s actually really cool, but now I’m wondering about Isaac and Levi. Same thing?”

“Yep,” I confirm for her. “Did you get to meet Ava yet?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve met an Ava.”

“That's their mate. Same thing as our parents, they’re both her mate. And she's pregnant, so they’re about to be dads too.”

“Oh wow. They seem so young for that,” Jeannie comments, pausing for a moment before moving onto her next question. “You and Garrett?”

“Not twins. Triplets,” I explain. “And no, it’s not the same for triplets. Only for twins.”

“Yeah, that would be weird considering that our third triplet is our sister Stirling,” Garrett comments. “And I mean, Morgan is a good-looking guy, but not that good-looking.”

“Ew, don’t be weird,” I scold him, though I’m laughing. We’re all laughing actually.

“What were you going to say before?” I ask Jeannie after our laughter dies down. “About something strange?”

“Oh, it seems kind of out of place now,” she says, blushing.

“Tell us anyway,” Garrett demands. “I want to know too. Anything strange involving you is probably pretty cool.”

I think he means because of her magic. Garrett has always been fascinated by mages. That’s why Clarice is one of his favorite people. Me too, though my affection is reserved more for her home-baked cookies than her magic.

“I was just going to say that there’s something weird about me and trees,” Jeannie finally reveals, still blushing a bit. “Oak trees especially, but any tree really.”

“Weird how?” I wonder, turning enough that I can see her face.

If she’s about to do some more magic, I want to see her eyes. Those dark flecks in them start to glow when she does, expanding within her irises until they look like a glowing violet starburst. I don’t know if it’s more from her power or our mate bond, but I get drawn in by it and can’t seem to look away.

“Well as we’re sitting here, it feels like the tree is embracing me,” she says. “It’s very soothing, and if I sat here long enough, I’d eventually fall asleep.”

“A lot of people like to nap like that,” Garrett tells her. “That’s not so strange.”

“Well, it only started happening after I turned sixteen, and I haven’t gotten to the weird part yet,” she argues. Now she has his attention. “When I wake up, I’m never sitting by the same tree as when I went to sleep. Usually, it would just be another tree on our property that wasn’t too far away, but one time I ended up in the backyard of someone who lived two towns over. An elderly woman who lived alone, thankfully, or I’d have been in more trouble than I was when I was forced to call my grandpa to come get me. I had no idea where I was or how to get back.”

“Okay, that is strange,” Garrett concedes, giving her a reassuring smile. “And potentially dangerous since you don’t know this area very well. So, I need you to agree to two things for me, okay?”

He sits forward and turns himself so that he’s facing her, and she nods, sitting up to pay closer attention to whatever he’s going to say.

“One, don’t go anywhere by yourself for now, at least until we figure out what causes that or how you can control it,” he says, ticking it off on his fingers. “And two, come with us to visit our friend Clarice. I’ll have to see when she will be available, but I think you need to meet her as soon as possible.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Jeannie agrees. “But Clarice, you mentioned her earlier too. She’s a mage?”

“She is,” I confirm for her. “She’s actually a werewolf-witch hybrid, but she knows a lot about mages and even knows a couple other witches. If anyone around here could help us figure out how to learn more about you, it would be her.”

“Oh, I see. Then I would like to meet her,” she says.

“I'm thinking we should probably head back now,” Garrett declares after a moment.

The tree thing seems to bother him quite a lot, I think because he worries about all the unknowns there. And honestly, me too. What if she doesn’t even need to be asleep, and this tree isn’t hugging her but is actually trying to suck her in and send her somewhere else?

Although now that I’ve thought it, it sounds silly. The plants and animals love her, we’ve been seeing that all afternoon. Whatever is happening, it’s probably her doing it. She just isn’t aware of how.

But even so, it’s dangerous, like he said. She doesn’t know how to control whatever it is, and she could end up anywhere, even some other territory. Granted, all the nearby territories belong to allied packs, but they don’t know her.

I need to fix that. Even if I’m not going to tell her about us yet, for her own safety, I need to be sure that everyone else knows who and what she is to me. I agree with Garrett. We need to get back. I have a lot of work to do, and not just the rest of my to-do list from the Alpha.

“Okay. I’d like to check on my chickens anyway,” Jeannie agrees.

“Actually, there’s a third thing I need from you, if you can,” Garrett tells her, standing and brushing the dirt off his shorts as I’m helping her up. “I’m starting to feel kind of claustrophobic with all this wildlife pressing in on us. Is there any way that you can tell them to back off a little?”

He was fine with it until she reminded him that she has abilities she doesn’t even know how to use. Now he’s feeling paranoid, would be my guess, and having all these creatures huddled around our area with all the plants leaning in to be closer to Jeannie, all those opportunities for some latent ability of hers to activate and leave us powerless to intervene, it feels oppressive. Or maybe I’m projecting my worries onto him because that’s how I’m starting to feel. I wouldn’t mind some breathing room either.

She closes her eyes and concentrates for a moment until suddenly the ruckus of hordes of animals and critters scurrying away is all around us. Plants rustling, insects buzzing, even some squeaks and squawks here and there. I see what appears to be an entire colony of deer bounding off in the opposite direction, and the chaos of it all makes my head spin a little.

If anyone can understand being drawn to her the way they all seem to be, it’s me, but does it have to be literally every living thing for miles? And do they have to be so desperate and obvious about it? I don’t see how they figure on winning any favor with her by crowding her like that. It must be another ability that she could somehow control, but just doesn’t know how to yet.

When she opens her eyes again, to my disappointment, they’re not glowing. That’s my favorite part of her magic besides her hair.

“Well then. Shall we?” Garrett asks, already taking off his shirt.

“We shall,” Jeannie giggles her agreement, turning and giving me a heart-melting smile.

It isn’t until after I finally let my irate wolf out of his mental prison and let him take over, the feel of our mate’s legs and arms wrapped around him soothing us both, that it finally hits me. She can control that ability just fine, as she proved when she so quickly and easily sent all her admirers away. But she likes it. She’s lonely, and being surrounded by all those creatures must feel pretty good to her. It’s probably her restless, lonesome heart that calls to them, the same way she calls to Simon.

That must be how they connected almost instantly. Even though she’s our mate, it shouldn’t have been that easy for him. But since she’s basically broadcasting herself to any creature paying attention, with the power of a mage’s blood behind it, that explains how Simon sensed her even before we got inside the packhouse that first day. I couldn’t figure it out because it wasn’t meant for me, but all these creatures sense her loud and clear.

It kind of makes me wonder if I’ve made the wrong decision, choosing to wait to tell her that she’s my mate. She’s desperate for a meaningful connection, and I can give that to her. But it still kind of feels like it would cheapen it for me if that’s the only reason she finally lets her guard down and allows me in. And then there’s the part where I’m afraid of the look I might find on her face when she learns the truth. I wouldn’t be able to handle it being anything other than gleeful excitement, and I want to wait until I know for sure that she wants me.

Right now, it’s still “weird” when I touch her, which means we’re not there yet. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do everything in my power to make sure that she never has a chance to feel lonely again.

I can already tell that Simon hates the idea of it, but I’m getting her another dog. I’ve already decided.