101 Ways To Tame The Emperor

Chapter 11: Survival Mode On

(Sabina)

“THERE is only one thing you must do after you leave this house, Catherine. And that is to survive.”

I smiled faintly after hearing those unexpected words from Baldy. He was the last person to come out of the manor to send me out. I thought I would not get to see him for the last time today so I was about to head in the carriage when I saw him dash out of the gate. He was sweating so much so I figured he ran to get here but I instantly pushed that thought away. Baldy would never run for someone like me.

Wherever world I was in, I guess I was destined to never receive parental love.

Everyone in the manor, from the Countess, to Catherine’s half-sisters, down to all the servants, were all wearing black as if they were attending someone’s funeral, my funeral, in this case. It was so childish. Catherine’s sisters were even wearing matching black veils. But the looks on their faces were far from being gloomy. I bet they would celebrate after this because they were finally getting rid of me for good.

Only Baldy was wearing a different color today. He was wearing a blue suit jacket. I know he meant nothing by wearing that color but seeing that it was not black somehow comforted me.

“Answer me, Catherine.”

Baldy was getting more and more demanding each time I see him.

“Do you want me to survive, Count?” I asked again, not hoping to get a different answer this time. I just did not know what to say. I was never good at goodbyes.

He walked towards me. I was kneeling in front of him but to my surprise, he took my hands and helped me rise. He put his hands on my shoulder and whispered to my ear.

“Survive. That is not an order from a Count to his servant, but a request from a father to his daughter.”

“The Count is originally a good person, my lady. There was even a time when I thought he loved your mother because he looked at her differently. The two of them grew up together and they used to be so close. I don’t know how he ended up with the Countess. He was never affectionate with her.”

Matilde told me those words before but I never gave it much thought since I find it hard to believe. And it was not like I was expecting anything from Baldy now considering how coldly he treated Catherine for so many years.

But what Baldy said today was shaking my defenses. This was the first time that he ever came close to Catherine; the first time that he called her his daughter. My throat burned from the tears I was trying to hold back while remembering my parents whom I had not seen for two straight years before I died in my world.

I guess no matter where I am, I will always be the daughter craving for the slightest bit of affection from her parents. This… this will always be the weakness of a deprived child in me.

“I will try my best, Count. Thank you for saying that. Whatever happens, I think I can die in peace after hearing your words.” I whispered back.

“You silly girl.” Baldy, I mean Count’s grip on my shoulders became tighter as if he was getting emotional, too. I could not keep calling him in the secret nickname I gave him when he was being like this. When I met his gaze, I saw something flickered in his eyes. But I could be blinded. I don’t want to trust my own feelings when it comes to these matters. I did not want to hope for anything anymore. Hoping… can be dangerous sometimes. I learned that the hard way as Sabina Ortega.

“Take good care of yourself, my child.”

I nodded. “Thank you very much, Count. Please take care of yourself as well. I will leave now.”

“Have a safe travel.”

“We will try to remember you every year, dear sister. We will make sure to put plenty of food on your memorial tablet on your death anniversary.” Denise said while giggling.

I smiled at her. Those words had no effect on me. I’ve heard things far worse than that. “That is so nice of you, my lady. Thank you very much in advance. Please do not forget to bring the best bottle of wine, too, and the prettiest flowers. After all, as the Count’s loveliest daughter here, I deserve those things better than you at least.” I grinned before turning my back on them.

The shock on their faces was more than enough as a consolation because the Catherine they knew cries and breaks easily. She never talks back. But I do.

The carriage moved right away after I got in. Matilde was giggling beside me but I could not appreciate that at the moment.

My child. I looked up to prevent my tears from falling. I tried so hard not to show it in front of the Count but those words… felt so nice to hear, especially from a man who looked exactly like my own father. It would have been nicer if the Count said those earlier and not today when I feel like marching towards my death because hearing those today only made me doubt its sincerity.

Yet, a part of me was wavering over those two words. How silly of me. Maybe if the two men did not happen to have the same face, those words would have had a lesser impact on me.

“My lady…” Matilde finally got on her senses and quit laughing. She held my hand gently as if she understood where I was coming from. I was glad she was allowed to be with me in the carriage. Her hands felt so warm.

“’Anak’. Do you know that in my world, that is how Filipino parents call their child? I’ve always wanted to hear my parents call me that, Matilde, even just once. That was my long-time wish. I envied my friends who got to hear that word often. But until the day I died in my world, I never got to hear that. I must sound so pathetic to you. I mean it was just a four-letter word. It was not even as grand as ‘I love you’ and yet, there was nothing I wouldn’t give and do just to hear it.” I laughed bitterly. “Today, someone who is not related to me acknowledged me as his child. When I heard that, I felt like something tugged my heart. I was happy and in pain at the same time. I was happy because I finally got to hear what I’ve been dreaming to hear but I was hurt because I knew that those words… were not meant for me.”

They were for Catherine. I wish she was able to hear the Count’s words wherever she was right now. I also wish that she was smiling beautifully right now because that was something I could not do so I was hoping she could do the smiling for me, for the two of us.

“Then if you do not mind, my lady, can someone like me call you ‘anak’ when it’s just the two of us? I know I do not have the qualifications to call you that knowing how special you are being the chosen one but-“

“I don’t mind. Can I hear you say it now? And can you add ‘ko’ in the end? ‘Anak ko’ in my language, means ‘my child’.”

Matilde smiled. And when she did, it reached her blue eyes. “Anak ko.”

I placed my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. Just for this very minute, while we are still in this carriage; I will allow myself to be weak since we still have time. It was a six-hour journey from the manor to the Imperial Castle. “Say it again please.”

“Anak ko.”

When Catherine was alive, she used to call Matilde ‘mother’. I heard that in the dream that Catherine showed me. “Thank you, mother. Thank you for being here with me today.”

I heard her gasp. Even if I don’t look at her, I could tell that she had gotten emotional and she was crying again. I could also tell that she was trying her best not to make a sound but her shoulders were shuddering which gave her away. Her presence was the greatest comfort my soul needed right now. “Why are you crying?”

“Because you wouldn’t.”

I softly smiled. “That’s why you are crying for me instead? That was so cute of you, mother.”

My smile disappeared when I looked outside the window. It rained so hard last night. It was still cloudy today. The wind was colder and stronger. It looked like it was about to rain heavily again. The servants from the manor took it as an ominous sign.

We are riding one of the House Peiris’ best carriages this time. It had a pretty brown leather interior. The chair was so soft and comfortable just like the imperial carriage. My Escorts were also using the manor’s finest horses equipped with the newest shield and swords.

Last night, the Count sent me a bounty meal in my room as if it was my last supper already. I, Matilde, and my Escorts were also given a very delicious breakfast this morning. The Count also asked the maids to pack some food for us so we can stop by to eat in the middle of our journey. They even made me wear one of the most expensive dresses that can only be bought in the Capital. It was a red gown that the Count gave me. I did not layer it with petticoat anymore. I like its soft fabric, too. My legs don’t feel restrained while wearing it unlike the other gowns.

We are traveling towards the unknown. The Count sent twelve bodyguards to escort me to the Imperial Castle. They will stay with me there. Originally, I was supposed to only have ten Escorts but John and Oliver, the two guards who were with me when I went to the Capital redeemed themselves when they fulfilled their promise and requested the Count to join the envoy. It surprised the other guards because it sounded like requesting to be killed. Nevertheless, the Count agreed.

The problem was, no matter how I look at them, all the Escorts seemed to be rookies to me. They give off this vibe that says they have never been in an actual battle before. When John and Oliver took turns in assisting me get in the carriage a while ago, I noticed that their hands were still soft which meant that they don’t train their combat skills and practice swordsmanship often. Catherine’s palms were even rougher than them.

Also, the Escorts’ postures were not steady enough. Their bodies may be well-built but I think they lacked the formal preparation to deal with stronger enemies. Yet, they were the Escorts which the Count sent for me which made me wonder if he really wanted me to stay alive. If he does, he could have sent better ones.

But since we are in this situation, I would have to make do with what I have. If we survive, I will see to it that we will train together. Oliver and John risked their lives to join me today instead of living comfortably in the manor while serving the other princesses. But that was not enough. Their loyalty along with the rest of the Escorts will be tested any minute now.

I don’t really believe in God. I have lost the capability to believe in Him when my Nanny died. But today, I found myself praying again. Because today, I found myself wanting to live again.

For the real Catherine.