Whiskey In A Teacup

Chapter Five

I spent the rest of the night wondering if Aurora was her real name.

I'd never met anyone with that name before. She conjured images of Elodie's favourite Disney princess. Except Princess Aurora was innocent. A sixteen year old girl living in the forest if memory served me well. The Aurora from the club was a dancer. Maybe a stripper too, she worked in a club, she'd probably performed a million private dances before. She was feisty and self assured and therefore she would be hardened by her profession. Thick skinned and capable of looking out for herself.

Certainly not the kind of girl that pricked her finger on spinning wheels.

I was thankful that Trey wasn't home. He'd either gone to another club or headed to wherever the blonde and red head came from. No rocking head board. No giggling. No grunts and moans.

Just blissful silence, save for the car alarm a block away. But even that didnt phase me.

I kept seeing Aurora, dancing against that pole.

...................

I waited by the front door of the house. I knew Caroline would be getting the girls ready for their violin lessons and I wanted to catch them before I left. I hoped the element of surprise would stand me in good stead.

But of course it didnt.

Natasha ran out into the front yard first, her head turned as she bantered with her sister. When she saw me standing on the path she froze, and then backed up.

'Tash' I called out to her.

She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head.

'Mom!'

My eyes flitted from my daughter to the doorway.

'Mom, dad's here!'

She didnt hold eye contact with me. I didn't understand it. I wanted to call out to her and ask her why but I didn't want to scare her off. I wanted to give her space.

Caroline came running outside, ushering our daughter back into the safe confines of the house and she backed me up against her SUV.

The car I'd bought her less than six months ago.

'Don't f**k with me Daniel. They don't wanna see you. Respect their decision. What the hell were you thinking?!'

'I was thinking that maybe you've poisoned them.'

'We've been through this. I thought we'd discussed this. If you won't leave I'll call the police.'

I saw in her eyes, that she wasn't bluffing. She would do whatever she could to stand in my way. She resented me. I sickened her. She could barely meet my eyes without revulsion existing there.

Maybe that revulsion had always existed.

'I hope you're happy Caroline.' I hissed, as I walked back to my car, and sitting behind the wheel I watched as my ex wife ferried my girls into the SUV and disappeared out of sight.

Part of me wanted to follow.

Part of me wanted to fight.

But I was a broken man and fighting right now would be like an uphill battle in a river of molasses.

I wasn't going anywhere.

............

I fought the urge to stay away from the club for three long weeks. By that time I'd found myself a loft down town, close enough to work, and close enough to a variety of fast food joints and delis. It didnt feel like home. I wondered if it ever would.

Since the night Colton died, I'd pretty much lost my appetite but with it went all motivation to work out or look after myself. I woke every day to a face I barely recognized, lines deeper and more prominent than they had been a few months ago. My eyes, normally a dark brown colour were muted and dull, and for the first time in my life, a peppering of grey hairs decorated my temple, standing starkly against my hair brown hair. I'm not talking George Clooney, distinguished and attractive to every passing female. I looked like a hobo. I'd never been as ripped as Colton or Trey but I was proud of my muscle tone. Today, right now, i looked gaunt. As it was, I doubted that my girls would recognize me, even if they did give me the time of day.

My employees didn't say much, we'd gotten into a routine now of not discussing my home life or asking about my kids. What was once a light hearted, easy going work place, was now awkward when anyone engaged me in conversation. I tried really hard to find the part of me that used to care about what I did, and trust me, I knuckled down and met all my deadlines, I just lost all passion for something that used to have me excited. Just being in the industry I loved so much was enough to ignite my lust for it, and advertising companies and leading games manufacturers saw that in me. I led every pitch back then. Now, I shied away, preferring to hole myself up in the office thankful that I was the boss and I could delegate the more sociable roles to those working for me.

I was lucky in that respect.

Not so lucky when I heard what Caroline wanted from me. A monthly p*****t that would see more than half my salary taken from me. I didn't mind paying for the girls but I despised paying for her to maintain her lifestyle. Still, I went along with it. I'd never been here before, and I didn't want help or advice from anyone. I was so desperate to move on and get to a place where life didn't seem so bleak and lonely.

A place where Elodie and Natasha could at the very least look at me again.

I was hungry.

For the first time in as long as I could remember, I needed to eat.

Sitting outside the club, I spotted a diner. It looked a little dingy, but right now I needed sustenance. A size able burger and fries appealed to me more than a steak would right now. I crossed the street, the scent of beef trailing through the doors and into my nostrils, and I walked as if being led by my sense of smell. A stocky waitress took my order and within minutes a quarter pounder with cheese, relish and tomatoes was presented in front of me, with a basket of fries. I dug in, practically inhaling the meal. I probably had sauce running down my chin, too eager to finish off my burger, and I knew my hands were dusted with salt from the fries. This had to be a good thing. My first real meal since my divorce. And it tasted so good.

Then I saw her. An amused expression on her face, hands cupping a steaming cup of coffee.

Aurora.

She looked a little different than I remembered, but it was unmistakably her. Her hair was tied in a ballerina bun atop her head, a few wisps framed her face, and from where I sat, she looked like she was wearing a plain white tee and jeans. No daisy dukes in sight. And no make up.

She looked even younger. Maybe eighteen or nineteen, and as quickly as she'd passed a look at me, she looked away. I took my chance and wiped my chin. A glob of ketchup removed, and hands cleaned as best I could with a napkin, I wanted to muster the courage to stand up and walk over to her table, but I stayed put.

Trey had set me up with a few dates in the last week or so. I'd gone along with them in the hope that they'd get me out of this shitty state of mind, but they just reminded me of what was ahead. Getting to know someone again. Letting someone in. And being the single dad who was disenchanted with life didn't make me a very attractive prospect. The dates hadn't gone well. I'd found no common ground with either woman, and though it was still early days, I felt as if my confidence had been crushed under the rubble of everything that had happened.

I ran my fingers through my hair, exhaling as I caught a glimpse of the girls as babies in a little keychain Colton and Darcy had bought me for my birthday years ago. I missed them. There were no words to describe how low I felt right then. Sitting in some dimly lit diner, opposite a club I'd never have dreamt of entering months ago. It would have been beneath me.

I chuckled humorlessly, as a hand touched my shoulder.

'You okay?'

I looked up to find Aurora standing beside me, her hand resting on my back.

'You look familiar.' She squinted her eyes and stood back a little, her hand dropping from my back. 'Either you're the land lord I'm avoiding and have always avoided because im always late with the rent, or I know you from someplace else.'

I shoved my keys into my pocket, smirking at that little admission of guilt. So she was a bad girl. At least where her rent was concerned.

'I uh, I don't know where you know me from....' Pleading ignorance might make her forget what happened in the rest room, and maybe she wouldn't think I was just a sad case who needed a free dance otherwise he'd top himself.

'Ive got it.' She grinned, and I saw lines feather around her eyes.

She was older than I thought.

'You were at the club a few weeks ago. Restroom guy.'

Busted. I felt heat blaze through my cheeks.

'Yeah I remember you.' She stole one of my fries and slipped into the seat opposite me. 'By the look on your face I'd say you were still in a bad place.'

I raised an eyebrow, amazed at how forward she was.

'So what is it? A girlfriend cheat on you? You lose your job? Got someone after you coz you owe them money?'

I laughed. 'None of the above.'

'Well then, quit looking so glum! I'm not giving out any more free dances.' She winked at me, taking a handful of fries and chomping on one. 'So what are you doing here rest room guy?'

'My name is Daniel.'

'Doesnt have the same ring to it...'

'I prefer Daniel.'

'And I prefer Danny.'

The coy look on her face was enough to make me relent, and I noted the dimples in each of her cheeks. She wasn't my type. She was the opposite of my type. There was that heat in my cheeks again.

So why did I feel so invincible all of a sudden?

'So Danny, what's on your mind? If its not a girl or being fired from your job, then what is it?'

It was like I had verbal diarrhea. I told her everything. I rambled on and on about my relationship, leaving out Coltons death because I didn't trust myself not to break down remembering that night. She asked questions now and again, mainly about why I'd stayed with Caroline for so long. She didn't seem to understand, and like I'd always said to Colton, unless you had kids it was an impossible thought. That you'd stick with someone you barely had anything in common with, for over a decade.

'So how do you feel about her now, is there a spark there? Do you miss her?'

I didn't think too much about her questions, I just answered them. Opening up felt akin to letting go on some level, and maybe it was the free flowing beer but talking to her felt good.

'I never loved Caroline.' There is was. Saying it out loud made me realise how ludicrous our little charade had been all these years. Other people had seen it. We just carried on, tied to each other and with each passing year, resenting one another more. 'I just kept hoping things would change. You know?'

She nodded wordlessly. 'But you're free now, Danny. What are you gonna do with your freedom?'