ONLY MINE *Ella and Elias*

the total package

Ella's p.o.v

My alarm rings and I close my journal. After my mother passed, I found a box with journals under her bed. She wrote so much throughout the years. I even learned about my father who she never saw after she was forced to move away. I guess I got my love for writing from her. I love writing. Creating characters, scenes, editing and putting it all together and making it work is what I live for. This is my happy place. I can get lost in my writing for hours. I decided to follow in mom's steps and start writing in a journal about my daily life too. Everything, the good and the bad, even the uncomfortable. My goals and anything I set my mind to. All of my secrets. I want to have something to look back on that is just for me and about me, not a story I came up with, but my real life.

I grab my clothes and go take a shower. I turn on the water and get naked as it warms up. Besides the beautiful garden that I loved when I first saw this house, the bathroom in the master bedroom is my second favorite thing. The huge tub on one side and the shower on the other. It's amazing and I love that I have choices if I want to take a quick shower or just relax in the tub. Right now, I need to hurry up because I am scheduled to babysit so a quick shower it is. I need to get to their house quickly. I have been helping Elias out, babysitting Evelyn when he has to work. She is the happiness I feel like I have needed lately. She cheered me up when I felt so low. I get out and dry myself off. I put on lotion and grab my t-shirt and skinny jeans. I put on my socks and my slip on vans. I blow my hair dry and straighten it. I apply a little bit of makeup and chapstick, and spray some perfume. I look myself over in the mirror, and shrug. That's as good as I will get. I grab my bag and laptop and hop in my car and head over to my job. I love the freedom of this job. Being able to help someone and still do what I love to do is so worth it. The writing, not the babysitting. I love babysitting Evelyn, but I don't need to babysit. I don't need the money. It is more the little girl. Ever since I met her, I felt like she reminded me of myself when I was little. I just felt like I had to help them. Having a big s3xy man to look at is a nice little bonus. Ever since I met that man, he has occupied my dreams. He is also the main character of one of my stories, but he will never know that.

I pull up and park on the street, because there is a car on the side of the driveway where I normally park. I get off and head inside. I grab the keys he gave me and open the door and step inside. I hear the television. "Evelyn," I call out and a woman pops her head out of the living room. "Hello" she says. Who is this woman? My heart starts beating faster. Does Elias have a girlfriend? He has never mentioned it, but then again, why would he? We are nothing. He is single and can do whatever he wants and he doesn't have to report back to me. I have no right to be feeling jealous right now. "Hi" I say. Elias hurries down the stairs carrying Evelyn. "Ella, you are here. Thank God." he says. "This is Mitch. Mitch, this is Ella." he introduces us. I smile, but her eyes just sweep me from top to bottom and back up. "Oh, the babysitter," she says and smirks. I reach for Evelyn and ignore her. I already hate her, not that I like many people, but I hate the way she looks at Elias like he hangs the moon and the stars and how she looks at me like I am a roach she wants to step on. "Hi Evie," I say and tickle her. "Ella, I want to show you my new bed." she says and pulls me upstairs to her room. A couple of minutes later, Elias comes up to say goodbye to his daughter. "I'm filling in for Jackson. He had some family emergency, so I just work tonight, then I am off for 2 days. Text me and send me pictures." he tells me and I nod. He kisses Evelyn goodbye and waves as he walks out the room. He is always asking me for pictures of what we do every day. When she is in school, I either clean their house or go home and write or hang out with Victoria and her family or run errands. Every day it is different. But after school and on weekends, I give her my full attention. Although he has a jungle gym in their backyard, I still bring her to the park sometimes and I also take her to play with Viictoria's niece once a week for a playdate. It's important for her to interact with other kids as much as possible. I wish I had more of that growing up. Maybe I wouldn't hate people now. Getting snuggles in with baby Alex during play Cates is also a bonus that I love. He is so cute and makes my ovaries explode everytime I am near him. I never thought I would even want to become a mother, but lately I do think about it more than I should.

After Evelyn shows me her bed and we color on her table and hang the picture up on her wall, we head downstairs. "I'm hungry," she tells me, and I sit her down on the stool and get to work. She wants a sandwich with no crusts. I make it for her and give her a glass of apple juice to go with it. While she eats, I clean up. I notice that Elias is not good in the cleaning department. He tries, but I am really ocd and need things to be clean. Evelyn talks and tells me how the lady who was at their house earlier works with the sick people. How she came to help daddy with his sick people class. I have no idea what class she is talking about. "Can I have apples with peanut butter?" she asks me. I turn around and she already ate her sandwich. I cut an apple up, and give her the peanut butter. She smiles up at me. "Thank you." she says. "You are welcome, pretty girl." I say, and continue cleaning. The kitchen was the worst, but I got it all cleaned up and promised the park after we cleaned up the living room. She cleaned up all of her toys while I put the blanket away. I dusted and put everything back in place. Once I was happy with everything, I went and helped her change into her play clothes and old shoes and then we made our way to the park. We spent all afternoon there. Elias checking in and telling me about a huge fire they are on their way to put out. I hate it when he texts me that. I worry so much for him. I hate how much he risks himself. Evelyn already doesn't have a mom, what would happen if Elias got hurt? They don't have family either. Well, just his mother-in-law. I have not met her yet. Normally, Elias drops Evelyn off at her house twice a month for the weekend. I believe she asked for that after her daughter got sick and passed. Evelyn's mother is also never discussed. There is one picture with her in it and she was beautiful.

We get back home and I feel her dinner, then I give her a bath and help her put on her pajamas and read her a story and she falls asleep quickly. I go and clean the bathroom and grab my laptop from the guest room that I sleep in when I am here, and I head downstairs. I set up on the couch and get to writing. I decide to write some ideas that popped in my head for my s3xy firefighter story. My male lead reminds me of a certain s3xy firefighter that I work for. I wish he could put out my fire. Why does my mind always go there? Not like I have had much experience. I was called a prude during college by a boy who I went out with once since I didn't put out or even kiss him, but he smelled weird, like spoiled mayo or rotten milk. It was just a foul smell. Vanna said his parents owned a company that produced those products and tried to convince me. She said I would be rich if I married him, but I am not a gold digger and the smell, I doubt I would ever get over it. I now hate mayo and milk. I gag a little when I watch people eat and enjoy those things. I write 3 chapters and then turn off my laptop to get some sleep. I am too lazy to climb up the stairs, so I close my eyes. I wake up to my alarm. I grab my laptop and head back upstairs. I go to the guest room and put it next to my bag and I take out my clothes to get ready. It is hot out, and lately I have allowed Victoria, her sister and cousin to help me with my non-fashion problems. I am plain and boring and have no fashion sense, so they have helped me shop and now I have a bunch of dresses and shorts, crop tops, sandals. All kinds of things that I am not used to wearing, but I actually am liking them. I also got a lesson in applying basic makeup and that is why I can now tell you the difference between eye liner and masquera. Once I am done, I go get Evelyn ready for the day. I get her dressed and today is Sunday, so I know they do either the motorcycle club day with families or the firehouse day with the families. Elias splits it and does every other weekend, and on the weekends when she is with her grandmother, she brings her there so he can get her back on Sundays. I know Victoria loves Sundays with the club. I think Evelyn does too. She is always talking about the other kids. I know she feels lonely. Elias should be returning home soon. I take Evelyn down stairs and whip up eggs, bacon, hasbrowns, and toast which is what she asked for. I cook and she and I eat and I wrap the rest for Elias to eat when he gets back. I clean up and Evelyn tells me she wants to change her shoes, so we go back to her room. I know it will be a while until she decides what she wants.

Elias's p.o.v

I walk in my house and it smells so good in here. Like food and clean and like a real home. I look around and yup, she cleaned it again. I was in such a hurry when I left that I left the house pretty messy. Mitch arrived early to help me. She is an EMT and although it was not a requirement at first, now it has become one and well, I am not good with school so she has been helping me study, or more hands on. I learn more with visual and being hands on rather than reading. I hate reading. I don't mind if someone reads to me, but I am not going to ask Mitch to read to me. That would be too much, so instead I asked her to come help me and teach me everything she knows. She is always happy on the job when I see her and she is nice and has flirted with me a little, so I thought it was alright to ask. I am not interested. My mind if busy being occupied with those honey brown eyes, but I don't know many people who would offer their time off to help me. I look around. I didn't get to clean up and now I feel guilty that Ella thinks she needs to clean my house. That is not in her job description. She does so much to help me out. She is amazing and so beautiful. Too bad that she is young. 22 and I should not be looking at my daughter's babysitter as anything else than what she is. My wife passed away a couple of years ago and I haven't been able to look at another woman ever since. It has been pretty lonely lately. My mentor and the fire chief, John has tried talking to me about me moving on. "It's about time, Elias. Your wife would be happy for you I am sure she wants you to be happy. It's okay to start over. No-one will blame you for it. You are too young to not move on." He has told me. For some reason, Ella is the only woman I have even bothered to look at twice. She is pretty, sweet, kind, clean, smart, fun and Evelyn loves her. I close my eyes and shake my head. I can't see her that way. The girl can barely look at me without turning bright red.

I walk in and take my boots off. I walk in the kitchen and they are not in here, but it is spotless. I head up the stairs and hear their voices coming from Evelyn's room. I walk to the door and Evelyn is explaining why her purple ballerina shoes are better than her white and black tennis shoes. I watch Ella listen to her. She doesn't interrupt her at all. "I agree. These shoes are amazing. Purple shoes it is." she tells Evelyn and helps her get them on. She turns around and gasps when she sees me standing here. I chuckle. "Hello girls." I say. "Daddy" Evelyn squeals and jumps on me. "You smell bad" she says and I laugh. I didn't bother showering or changing my clothes back at the firehouse. I just got in my truck and came home. "I am going to shower." I tell Evelyn. "Can you stay for a bit more?" I ask Ella. "Of course. Evelyn and I will be downstairs." she says, and they head down. I go to my bedroom, my very lonely bedroom. I grab the picture of my wife and I when we first got married. "Would you be okay with me moving on?" I ask her, but of course I get no reply. The feeling of guilt creeps up. I don't think I can take losing someone else. I grab my clothes and remember that I am working on my master restroom and the whole shower is messed up. I have been showering in the guestroom restroom. I grab a towel and head over there. The girls are downstairs, so I will just take a quick shower and head down there with them. The room looks so clean. I wonder if she even slept in here. I hope Evelyn isn't making her sleep in her room with her. I wonder what her house looks like. I get naked and hop in the shower. Once the hot water hits me, I groan. It feels so good. I realize that I forgot my bodywash, so I grab Ella's. I smell it and it smells good like lavender and vanilla. Like her. I decide to use it. Once I am done, I get out and start drying myself quickly. I walk out to the room to get dressed as I dry my hair. I feel the coolness on my naked body. "Oh sh*t" I hear I look up and Ella is standing by the door looking at my naked body with wide eyes. Her eyes locked on my d*ck. Pretty big if I do say so myself. I do nothing to try to hide myself. Instead, I continue drying my hair. Her face all flushed and her fiddling around.. "Umm, sorry. I just came to get my phone. I didn't know you were in here, and naked. Oh my god." she says. "It's alright. My shower doesn't work, but I am about to be done. "No, take your time. This is your house." she says and takes another peak at my d*ck and walks backwards. Her eyes lock with mine and I smirk. She quickly closes the door and I shake my head and get dressed. Why is she so shy?

I head downstairs and I want to laugh at how Ella won't even look at me. "Daddy, Ella left you food it was delicious. I chose the breakfast menu" my little girl proudly tells me. I go to the kitchen and grab the plate and warm it up. It is a basic breakfast, but delicious. Everything this girl makes is delicious. "Thank you girls. You guys are the best." I say and Ella turns bright red. "We are, aren't we daddy." Evelyn says. "Can we go to the park again, Ella?" she asks. "Oh, I am actually heading to Victoria's house in a little bit." she says and my daughter's face drops. "I can take you to the park honey." I tell her, but she shakes her head. She hugs Ella and I watch as Ella whispers something in Evelyn's ear and she hands her something and my daughter puts it in her pocket and nods and gives Ella a hug and runs to her room. "Thank you for everything." I say. Ella nods, not looking at me. I shake my head. "Here" I say and hand her a check for these past two week. She makes a face and hesitantly grabs it and gives me a forced smile. "Well, I will see you in two days." I say and she nods and I don't miss how her eyes travel down to my d*ck. She looks away and grabs her things and walks out the front door. I laugh and head upstairs to check on my little girl. She looked way too bummed out for my liking. I hear sniffling and I begin to panic. "Evelyn, baby girl, what's wrong?" I ask my daughter. "Daddy. She left me. She didn't want to go to the park. She would rather go hang out with that baby" she cries. "Evelyn, what is this about?" I ask her. "Ella says I am her favorite person, daddy. All of the kids at the park love Ella. She is so pretty and so fun. The other kids are jealous because she comes back home with me. She is mine, but then that baby comes to the park and she holds him and I don't like that daddy." she wipes the tears from her eyes. Geez, my daughter loves her babysitter and is jealous of a baby. I rub my hand down my face. I don't think this is normal. "Sweet heart, Ella doesn't belong to anyone. She can love you and baby Alex both." I try to explain to her, but she shakes her head. "You don't understand daddy. All of the other kids have a mommy to show off with their pretty hair and pretty dresses and I finally have someone. Ella is so pretty even when she doesn't wear pretty dresses, she has cool shoes and cool boots and all of the other kids get jealous because she packs me snacks and toys and she has the cool bandaids daddy. You are a boy, you don't know about these things." she says. I don't know if I should feel offended right now. "I do know about these things. So, you don't want to share Ella?" I ask her, trying to understand, because in reality I don't understand, but I don't want her to know that. I am feeling a little jealous now. She prefers Ella over me. "It's not that, daddy. I don't mind her holding baby Alex, but not for too long. I don't want her to fall in love with him and not want to come here with me anymore because she goes to his house more like she did today. She left here to go to his house. What if she stops loving me and goes away daddy?" she asks with tears in her eyes and I almost f*cking cry. My daughter feels like she will lose her, like she lost her mother. I don't even know what to say to her. "Hey, Ella loves you. How about we go get some icecream?" I tell her and she smiles and nods. Hopefully, this will cheer her up at least a little bit. I am going to have to talk to John. I have no idea what to do, but he has 4 daughters. I am sure he can give me some advice. He also lost his wife and didn't move on. He is older and wiser. am sure he can help me out here. I have no clue what to do. Maybe having Ella around is doing more harm than good for Evelyn. She is becoming too attached, although who wouldn't? The girl is the total package.