Chapter 9 : Dreamy Regrets

1823 Words
“May I come in?" The woman looked at me. Her smile didn't falter. “What do you mean that I will be his maid?" “Exactly that," she said. “My name is Ruth. I help with the household day to day, and the Alpha has requested you to join his house staff. But you will be his personal maid and will handle his personal affairs." I frowned, confused. “Personal affairs? What does that mean?" “It means preparing breakfast and doing his laundry among many other things. You will be the one handling his chambers as well." “No," I said. “I'm sorry you wasted your time coming here but I will not be doing any of that. Goodbye." I went to close the door, but the woman placed her hand on it and pushed herself back in. She let out a giggle. “I'm sorry. There seems to be some kind of confusion here. The Alpha said this is not an option. You are to be his maid within the next three days and there is nothing that you can say that will make this go away, so please just cooperate." I hobbled over to the bed and sat on the edge. I placed my head in my hands and let out a frustrated groan. I had been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I had just cried my eyes out and now I was on the brink of boiling over and killing a man. He had gone from wanting to put me out of my misery to making me his slave in the span of only an hour. I had told him how I felt about being a servant to his people, but now he had gone a step further and decided to make me his personal slave. This man was unbelievable. “This is a great honor for any Omega. To be so close to the Alpha it will mean that you are better treated than other Omegas. You should be happy." Ruth had the audacity to speak like she knew me. Like she knew of the pain and struggle I had already endured. This was not a blessing; this was a never ending nightmare that I could not escape. “Bullsh*t." I lifted my gaze. “This is a curse bestowed upon me by the killer that is your Alpha. He has done this to me. He has ruined me. He has taken my life and cursed me." Ruth stared at me confused. “I am not an Omega. The blood that runs in my veins is that of royalty. I don't sit and pick up a grown man's dirty clothes. I don't wash clothes from lowly pack members. I am meant to be the next leader of Blue Lake, and for some unknown reason, I was fated to that b*stard. I am meant to be your Luna. Yet you all treat me with disrespect and contempt. So, no, I will not be anyone's slave. He will have to kill me before I bow to him." She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. “I don't know how much you have heard of this pack or our people but we are—" “Cold blooded killers." I finished off for her. “Or at least your Alpha is. You guys have a reputation and he leads you so he must know. Your Alpha killed my family and destroyed my life. Even if it is the last thing I do on this green earth. I will kill him and I will rip his heart out of his chest." “He is your fated." She didn't say it as a question. “You would really kill your fated?" “Yes," I said almost immediately. “I would kill him and merge it with the blood in which he spilled. Blood that was innocent. The only crime those people committed was following my family. Someone must answer for those crimes." “And you believe that is Alpha Zander?" “Yes." “But he is not the one who killed your family." “Yes, he is. He was there. Why was he behind enemy lines for so long? Why did he hide his true identity for so long? Why did I find his men with blood stains on their bodies?" “I don't know the answers to your questions but what I do know is that you care for Zander. Even though that softness you have for him is overshadowed by your grief." “Don't tell me what I feel. I hate that man and I am going to get him even if it is the last thing that I do." I was ridden with vengeance. I had lost everything because of him. My home, my family, my life. He had taken it all from me and I was coming back for everything even if it was the last thing that I did. “Are you okay?" The woman stepped up toward me with a sad smile on her face. “I can get the healers to come in here and administer some herbs to help you sleep." “I want nothing from you people," I snapped. My body felt weak and I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't know what to do. I was at a loss. I felt like the walls were caving in on me slowly, inching bit by bit. “I'm sorry for the pain you are in, but you must know that the Alpha is not who you think he is. He is a kind man. A man of great honor and valor. He would never murder an entire pack." “Then you don't know your Alpha well enough then," I hissed. “Blood must have blood and vengeance will be mine. For every soul he robbed this world of in my pack, I will s***h him. For every drop of blood that was spilled, he will feel it. And for every crack he made in my heart, he will know it. The man is disgusting and evil and needs to be put down, and if it has to come from me, then so be it." It was probably unwise of me to be saying all of these things to one of his pack members but I was mad. He had already proven to me that he would not kill me, but he had no problem humiliating and torturing me. So I would strike first. I would not allow this man to continue to control my life in this way. “You are in a great deal of pain. Pain that was unfairly placed upon you. I'm sorry." She walked toward me and sat beside me on the bed. “I'm sorry for your loss, Eva." The sincerity in her words moved something inside of my hardened heart. Her actions confused me. I had just told her that I wanted to kill her Alpha but yet here she sat with empathy in her warm caramel eyes. “Are you going to tell Zander?" “Why would I do that?" Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “That would do no one any good. You are also in a state of grief. You are allowed to be angry and hurt as betrayed. The way in which you lost everything would make even the strongest warrior break. The fact you are still breathing means your hope is not over. You want to live, which means you want a life." “But what kind of life will I have as a servant?" “You are the Luna, yes. And right now your relationship with the Alpha is a complicated one. On both sides, you are holding back. But I know that in time you will find each other again." She spoke like she knew me or him personally. There was no finding middle ground between me or Zander. We had agreed before we even started anything. We didn't like each other. “I always wanted to know what Zander would be like in love. I wondered if he would be kind. If he would let his heart soften to the world." She looked toward the door and started at it with this distant look in her eyes. “Zander is not the monster you think him to be. The man can be gentle and kind. He cares for his people and all wolf-kind. He may not seem like it but he has a warm soul." I scoffed. The man had contemplated killing me. He was incapable of a feeling such as love. The man was cold as the arctic. If he could have, he would have plunged his hand in the middle of chest and ripped out my heart with his bare hands—killing me. The man wanted to murder me after I had practically begged him to do it. “If he has a warm soul, then I am the goddess herself." She let out a low and heavy sigh. “In time you will see what we see in our Alpha. But until then, I will return back to help you with preparing for your new role." “I won't be his servant, Ruth." I stood my ground. “Throw me in the dungeon but do not make me his servant." “The choice is not yours, Eva. And from what I hear, you have made friends with Vincent. You don't want him to be punished for your errors do you?" Frustration trickled into the center of my chest. That b*stard was willing to hurt an innocent man for his own personal gain? What else was I to expect from a man like him? “I will be back in a few hours. I will bring your uniform and we will go over what you need to do next for your job." Ruth then stood up and walked out of the room. I stared at the door after her and wished that I could run out of it, but I knew that if I tried to run, I would only be dragged back to this golden cage I had been placed in. He had made it abundantly clear that I was to be his prisoner here. He had no intention of killing me but he did have every intention of torturing me. I could feel the broken heart in my chest. With every single beat, I felt the cracks grow deeper and wider. With every expel of my breath, I felt the world close on me slowly. I longed and wished for death but I lacked the bravery to do it myself. Was Ruth right? Did I truly want to live? Was that why I couldn't bring myself to end it all? What was I holding onto? There was nothing left for me. Or was there?
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