Purely-Kissed Sabers: The Adventurous Vagrant Gaiden

Yup, It's Yet Another Beach Episode

I still remain in Ivanka's lavish house, admiring her own collection of plushies as sunset arrives.

The stark difference is that while Laika has a collection of plushies depicting animals that live in bodies of water, Ivanka's collection consists of... plushies depicting typical monsters encountered by adventurers.

Slimes, goblins, orcs, ogres, dragons, and more.

And while Laika names her plushies with normal human names, Ivanka names hers... with out-of-this-world, unpronounceable names.

For example, she names her goblin plushie... “Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116”, which is pronounced “Albin”, for some reason.

I'm already prepared to go home, when suddenly...

“Here are letters for Ms. Ivanka Wallis and Mr. Keenan Floribunda!”

Oh. A messenger is delivering letters that are explicitly addressed to us.

“Apologies, Mr. Floribunda, if I had to go all the way here from Eliomam Prefecture just to hand this over to you personally.”

“Ah, so my sister and friend informed you that I went on a trip here.”

“Yeah. It was urgent, they said. Well, then. I have lots of other stuff to deliver. Have a nice day!”

Once the messenger leaves, Ivanka and I agree non-verbally to open the letters.

No matter whom it's being sent to, the message is the same.

You are invited to a pool party at Salmin Resort, which is located between the towns of Sumsy and Triyala, Slatberg Prefecture, tomorrow at 10 ante meridiem. This is to mark my first year of being together with fellow cadets whom I consider my best buddies!

Enclosed with this letter is a ticket to the resort. If you're wondering why I have so many tickets to give away, it's because my parents received them for free from the resort's owner; and as of this writing, they're about to expire. (And yeah, I'm adopting the “waste not, want not” line of thinking from Her Highness the Princess.)

This is one event you definitely shouldn't miss! Hope to see you there!

Yours truly,

Joey Ramon Fermoze

And indeed, Ivanka and I acquire a ticket each.

“Yes! I've been wanting to go to that resort, but I unfortunately didn't have time for that.”

“Ah, good for you, Ivanka. As for me...”

Needless to say, I'm prepared and unprepared for this pool party at the same time.

That was what I said to her just now.

I'm prepared, because the place is just nearby, and I still haven't forgotten my swimming skills.

I'm unprepared, because I have to ready my swimming gear (which is basically just a pair of swimming shorts and extra clothes) in short order.

As I'm about to ask Ivanka's mom if there are any spare swimming shorts I can use...

Another messenger arrives at the doorstep of the Wallis residence.

He carries a package that is explicitly addressed to me.

While signing the necessary documents, I wonder if Laika and Yulissa also received the same letters and enclosed tickets, too.

Once I open the package, my hunch is indeed right!

I can see a pair of swimming pants, which is colored red and has two black stripes.

The one I'm using since senior high school.

Also in the package are some casual outfits, as well as a handwritten letter.

I read the letter's contents meticulously.

Keenan, I know my daughter and your sister are worried because you haven't went home yet from your, uh, “date” with Miss Ivanka.

Not helping matters is this out-of-the-blue invitation to a pool party, in which they are invited, too.

As luck would have it, Laika did the smart thing and dug your closet for your favorite swimming pants and extra clothes, with the express permission of your parents, of course.

And now, you should receive them at sundown, just to get you prepared for that occasion.

May you three have a great time there!

From your friend's beloved mother,

Liella Santiaguel

PS: I, as well as my daughter, know you don't keep anything salacious in your closet or anywhere else in your room, because you don't own them in the first place.

Good thing they are ready to adapt to situations like this.

“Always ready” is one of the important lessons a prospective soldier must know.

Ivanka then proposes me something.

“So, it's our immediate circle of friends who are invited to the pool party, huh? Well, since they're readying ourselves, based on the letters and that package, why don't you stay here tonight in the meantime?”

“That's a no-brainer. I'll stay. Convenience always wins.”

“Great! Mom's currently preparing dinner for us all, so chow to your heart's content!”

And thus, Ivanka, her mom Varyana, and I are enjoying dinner that consists of the following.

Spicy garlic chicken stir-fried noodles.

Shrimp tempura onigiri (rice balls) and takoyaki (octopus balls), which are both of Tsukuban origin.

For drinks, brewed apple juice.

For dessert, vanilla and chocolate ice cream on top of powdered donuts and chewy choco chip cookies.

Man, I'm stuffed.

This should mean I'll have enough energy for whatever tomorrow will throw at me.

Well then... good night, Ivanka.

The next day. The 16th of Ricemonth, 1017 CE.

With a hearty breakfast and a brand-new change of clothes, Ivanka and I are ready to soak up the sun.

And by the way, the clothes I've worn yesterday are kept in the original package box sent to me yesterday, and I'll naturally take them home.

9:45 ante meridiem.

One carriage ride away, and we two make landfall in Salmin Resort.

The resort has everything one can expect in such a place: Pools, shower rooms, changing rooms, water slides, diving platforms, the works.

“Keenan! Ivanka! Good morning!”

As usual, the cheerful faces of my childhood friend and my sister first greet us.

“We miss you, you know that?” Laika declares this as she and Yulissa hug me. “Good thing Ivanka is a principled woman.”

“Yup,” Ivanka agrees. “Why would I ever do such a thing as 'flirting'? That's not in my vocabulary, you know.”

“Brother, I'm sure you want to see us again in our cute swimsuits, right?”

“Of course. But as a young man, I can't help but...”

...get my body all too excited.

That was what I was supposed to say.

Please, dude. You're a disciplined man. You don't own those so-called off-brand stuff, and you are relatively resistant to the pleasures of the flesh!

Seconds later, Joey Ramon, the organizer of this party, Hershey, the feralkin cadet, and Bienvenide, the former sister-holic (hopefully), also arrive.

Joey Ramon doesn't mince any more words.

“Alright, we've got everyone present here. So, without further ado, let's get this party started!”

We all give one another high fives before heading towards the resort entrance.

Minutes later, Joey Ramon, Bienvenide, and I sit on a bench, staring at the sparely-populated pool, already dressed in our swimming shorts.

“I haven't told you guys yet, but I'm a capable swimmer.”

Bienvenide reacts, “Really? Reminds me of an incident over a decade ago, where a young boy saved two girls from drowning.”

“Yes. In case you forget, that kid was me.”

“Whoa!”

The two boys are surprised by my honest revelation of the incident that led to the promise.

“Oh yeah. I remember that my dad also used to tell that story, too,“ states Joey Ramon. “But how did you get so good at swimming, even when you were young?”

“Simple. My family always visits Tytana Beach, which is obviously located in the town of Tytana, every weekend. It's just a fifteen-minute walk away from my hometown. At first, I was afraid of the waters. But then, I mustered up my courage and trained my body to float and navigate safely in those waters.”

“That's amazing.”

“And you know what's even more amazing? Our beach bodies!”

That's the voice coming from...

Yup, the four girls, all clad in their own swimsuits that match their bodies and personalities.

Laika wears a white two-piece bikini with black accents.

Ivanka wears a one-piece navy blue competition-type swimsuit.

Yulissa wears a frilly two-piece pastel tankini that balances the cute and the sexy.

Hershey wears a black stringed two-piece, with the bikini's top having a hole shaped like a cat's head.

As we three guys stand up to see how stunning these gals are in their own little ways, Laika comments as she leans towards me...

“No matter how you slice it, I'm a woman through and through, right?”

When she was young, Laika looked more like a tomboy.

But now... she's definitely bloomed into someone worthy of an hourglass figure.

“Well, we are all dignified women,” Ivanka declaims. “But once in a while, we must shed our limits, to truly bring out our innate beauty.”

“Ee-yup, that's right!” Hershey agrees.

“So then...” Yulissa engages us all. “Let's get wild for today!”

“YAHOO!”

After some preliminary showers, we seven tight-knit buddies all get wet and wild in various pools.

And yes, once I attempt to dive in the diving platform, I want to make sure my shorts don't just float in the water after the fact.

Thankfully, that potentially embarrassing moment never happens.

Besides some swimming fun, Joey Ramon and Bienvenide also act as the self-styled “anti-peeing in the pool police”, warning other swimmers to heed to the many signs placed throughout the resort that read...

NO PEEING IN THE POOL. OR ELSE... A FISH MONSTER WILL ABDUCT YOU.

--The Management

They even warn potential offenders...

“If ever the fish monster won't show up, we'll have to feed you rice porridge with dried-up dog poop and dried up boogers instead! Any takers?”

“No! NOOOO!!! Anything but that! OK, we swear we'll never use swimming pools as giant urinals!”

“Better keep your word, then.”

And before I forget, feline land-type feralkins aren't weak against water, so Hershey can afford to splosh and splash to no end.

As noontime transitions into the early afternoon, we all wind down and relax, especially after a rather heavy lunch consisting of T-bone steak meals and bottomless red iced tea.

I'm currently chilling with Laika, Yulissa, and Hershey on some poolside chairs, when...

“Keenan!”

Oh, Ivanka's back. And as usual, my childhood friend, my sister, and the cat girl don't mind.

“I forgot to tell you this yesterday. I've always wanted to write a poem, and... once I've first laid my eyes on you... I finally had the chance to do it. Here.”

She brings out a piece of paper she kept in between her chest and casually hands it to me.

“And before you ask, I've made sure I'm quite dry before placing that paper in that... you know... secret compartment.”

“Yeah.”

I peer at the flowing penmanship and the great choice of words she made.

With burning resolve, you unsheathe your blade

To act as the enforcer of justice, the protector of the people.

Through the horrors of existential dread and avoidance

You help me shine and reclaim my place in this world.

I may be a soldier, but I am also a woman.

I conquer obstacles because I am strong.

I show my frailties because I am weak.

But no matter what happens...

In the spirit of brotherhood that is soldiery...

We shall combine what makes us human

And weaponize them to blaze forth new horizons.

“You wrote it yesterday while I was asleep, I presume.”

“Tee hee. You sure can read my mind.”

“Well... at least you accomplished one of your childhood dreams – to become a writer, that is. Even for just a moment.”

“Thanks.”

As she leaves...

“Now then, enjoy the poem! And better yet, share it with the others!”

“Much obliged!”

And like clockwork, I share Ivanka's poem with the other girls.

Hershey reacts, “I never knew Ivanka has the potential to be a poet, nya.”

Yulissa adds, “Not just any poet. A soldier-poet! You don't see many of them in history books!”

“To be honest,” Laika laments, “I wish I could be like her. But alas, my creative writing skills aren't that stellar.”

“Don't sweat it,” I console her. “Not everyone has to be a genius in every field to be called elegant, you know. You've got your excellent swordsmanship, for one!”

“Tee hee. Don't mention it.”

Minutes later, we four decide to order some chow mein from a nearby stall.

And once we chow on our chow mein, we can spot Bienvenide and Joey Ramon apparently getting all tangled up in a nearby pool because they attempted to return a lost bikini top but are getting manhandled by other girls who mistake them for pervs.

Laika has her choice of words to the two.

“Are you fooling around? Really? Right in front of my chow mein?!”

Long story short: The girl who lost her top eventually gets it back, and the girls who chastised the two apologize for being too judgmental.

It's now 5 post meridiem.

The resort's closed, and we seven naturally have to part ways.

“At least this mini-vacation makes us all feel more natural, nya,” Hershey states.

“Yeah, easing the tension we will potentially face for our second year should be on our minds,” Bienvenide follows.

“After all, soldiers don't need to be all roaring barbarians swinging deadly steel all the time,” Yulissa adds. “To become the finest soldiers this kingdom has ever known, we must all show some restraint, too.”

“Well now...” Joey Ramon concludes. “We'll all see each other again next month! As the same old band of brothers and sisters!”

Once again, we all make high fives while shouting “YEAH!”, before we all disperse peacefully and go back to our own hometowns in our own little ways.

And thus...

Summer break came and went.