Embers & Spells

15 – Who Are You?

I painted my nails blueberry. I dyed my hair light brown. Rearranging my room by throwing off things I no longer needed somehow helped me clear my head. Decluttering. Yes, that was what I needed to focus on things that matter.

The wound in my palm was still stinging with pain and I discovered that the glass dagger could inflict cuts I couldn’t heal with hot water. A gauze was securely wrapped around my left hand. I wished I knew that before I cut myself, knowing no amount of magic could make it go away in an instant.

I went to school Friday morning, seeing the campus ground with banners posted on the halls, inviting everyone for the school’s Founder’s Event. The hallway was packed, students couldn’t help gushing over who would be the next queen of Michaelson High. I remembered Claire’s nonstop excitement about her plan on joining the contest. I knew Agatha wanted to join as well.

Morning classes went by so fast I could barely keep up with the discussions. Distracted by the fact that I would be meeting Inigo and Arawn Rhys later on my Physics class and my friend Agatha was still MIA. She never returned my messages and I was starting to worry that something bad might happen to her. I had not seen her during lunch at the cafeteria as well and my fear grew when she had not attended all our afternoon classes.

As I headed toward COMMS office, I finally saw her with her other group of friends.

“Hi, Agatha,” I called out, spotting her on her locker cabinet. Her smiled dropped at my presence.

“Hey, Tana,” she said, closing her locker cabinet. Her other friends gathered at her back, watching us, as if they knew something I didn’t. “What’s up?”

“Is everything okay?” I asked, voice low, uncertain of her sudden indifference.

Agatha smiled. “Yeah, of course.”

I stepped closer to her. “What about Denny?”

“Ugh, will you stop already?” Agatha muttered, her tone rising. “Don’t pretend like you really care, okay?”

My eyebrow raised, not liking one bit where this was going. “You think I’m pretending? What’s wrong with you?”

Her eyes looked tired, but her tone told a different story. “Just drop it, Tana!”

“Oh God, how pathetic is she?” one of her friends chimed in, eyes on me, a smirk on her face. “Freaks usually clung themselves to someone they are obsessed with. Told you not to befriend her, Agatha.”

Suddenly, as if things couldn’t get worse, all the rumors and whispers I heard from other students came rushing down on me like a broken dam, flooding my head.

“Shut up, will you?” Agatha snapped at her friends.

I nodded, a bitter smile curling my lips. “Okay, I get it. This is all for a show, right? Hope your audience enjoyed it.” I swung my arms, gesturing to some of the students who literally stopped just to watch the scene.

Then I walked away, not awaiting any words from her.

****

Drama wasn’t really my cup of tea. The only drama I had in my life was when my mother died. The rest eventually became light and calm, thanks to my godmother who knew exactly what to do when life sometimes threw us a joke.

I logged my time the moment I reached COMMS office, casually greeting Ms. Dana at the front desk even with my head full of negativity and uncertainties. My last year in high school wasn’t supposed to be this chaotic. Turning 18 wasn’t supposed to open doors with a stream of problems behind it. I wasn’t supposed to face troubles alone. Dang. I felt like I was drowning and nobody was there to throw a rope to save me.

“How’s the hand?”

Arawn Rhys was sitting on his usual spot on the mini blue sofa, watching me.

I almost forgot that I would be seeing him here. “Fine. Can I have my dagger now?”

He was silent for a moment before standing up and heading toward the computer table and sat beside me. He had no bucket hat this time, his red hoodie complimenting his fair skin. This was the first time I had a good look on him, noticing his undercut, the side of his head shaved neatly, leaving a longer hair on top of his head.

“You’ll have it back when you need it, not when you want it.”

I smirked and rolled my eyes. “It’s mine. You’re supposed to give it back.”

He propped his elbow on the table, leaning his head to his hand, watching me. “And you’re not supposed to cut yourself.”

All my questions flashed inside my head. “Who are you?" I asked the most simple one but the maybe the hardest to answer.

Arawn Rhys smiled. “Am I intriguing you?”

“Why do you know so much about me? Who are you?”

His smile faded away, his clear grey eyes striking me. I felt like I have seen those kinds of eyes before, I just couldn’t remember when.

“You’re not ready to know me more, hybrid,” he replied.

I looked over our shoulder, flicking my hand to cast a spell, an invisible wall of privacy. “Why did you save me?” I asked. “How did you know all about my soul and the underworld, basically my situation? Are you a demon?”

“I assure you, I would literally push you off the ledge if I were a demon, Tana Axle.” He then pointed toward the front desk. “Did you just cast a spell so they won’t hear us?”

“Why save me then?” I badly wanted to figure him out. “What’s it to you that I’m alive?”

His brows slightly furrowed. “Do you prefer to die? Don’t you want to save yourself? Funny, you don’t look like someone who easily gives up.”

I looked away, acting interested in the blank screen of the computer. “You don’t understand what’s it like.”

“What’s it like to be what? To be a hybrid?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, annoyed at his tone of mockery. “Yes. To be left out, to have no one, to not understand what you truly are. You’ll never understand.”

“Huh.” He crossed his legs, his knees grazing on my legs. “Too early for you to tell. Besides, different or not, alone or not, you still have that chance to save your soul. I guess, that’s worth all the trouble. Otherwise, you won’t be risking yourself to some voodoo to visit hell.”

“It isn’t just my soul I’m trying to save,” I murmured, Erin’s face popping up in my head. The feeling of guilt lurked again, my stomach tensing. Arawn seemed to know a lot about the underworld. If he wasn’t the devil’s minion sent to spy on me in human world, then was he an angel who saved lives? He didn’t look like one. “Who are you really? Can I trust you?”

I gazed at him, his pensive look and blank face made him looked like a mysterious book nobody could ever read and understand.

Arawn Rhys tilted his head to the side, the coldness of his eyes thawed for a brief moment. He looked solemn, as if I had ask a question he never expected to hear.

“Don’t trust me,” he stated, tone low and deep. “That would be the smartest thing you should do.” He then stood up from his seat and silently walked away, leaving me alone in our tiny space in COMMS office.

I felt a claw dug on my heart, my chest heaving. I thought talking to Arawn would help me find answers or even helped me figure him out. But I was left with nothing but more questions, one after another, the puzzle of his existence too complex for me to solve.

If I couldn’t trust him and my magic didn’t work on him, then I should really distance myself. All I have now was myself, knowing Agatha got knocked out and woken up to her own reality.

“Okay, Tana, focus on the alpha. Focus on your part of the deal.” I nodded, pushing away the thought of me being pathetic.

Arawn was right about one thing, though. Saving my soul and Erin’s was worth all the trouble.