Angel in Disguise (English)

Chapter 2

Ayesha's POV

"I can't believe that their circle of friends are all hotties."

"Stop it Ellyse. How can you even say that when they are all grieving right now. Gosh, I've never seen them as sad like this. They used to be the loudest and strongest team here."

I looked at their table and just like Zia, it all feels new to me. They used to be noisy on that spot, talking and laughing out loud. But right now, even the spoons and forks do not make a sound. The loneliness can be felt all around the cafeteria.

It's been almost three weeks since Kim died of leukemia. And it's very heartbreaking how she died. She died on her wedding dress, on her groom's lap, on their wedding, before even saying I do.

I was there, I saw how everyone cried when she didn't make it. I saw how her friends cried, how her family shattered. How Xian cradled her tight while crying. I saw how Ken fell on his knees alone, I saw he cried alone on that day. He was Kim's lover, he was her ex boyfriend and I know he loves her so much. He let her go so she can be happy but maybe she was bound not to be happy at all.

I suddenly felt that familiar pain on my chest. I can remember how it felt when my sister died, I can remember how it feels to be left by your loved ones.

"Ayesha? Are you okay?" I was startled when Zia held my hand. Worry is plastered on their faces, they must be thinking I remember how my sister and father died.

I reached out for a smile before peeking at the table next to us.

I sighed. Ken is not with them today, I wonder where he is.

I know he's one of the most affected people from Kim's death. He's inlove with her, he did everything for her. I've been so dedicated about knowing him that's why I know everything about him, about their relationship.

And I hope he's okay.

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late, we had some problems to deal with at the team." Earl came panting. He must have ran from the covered court to the cafeteria.

I offered him my bottled water and he took it gladly. He must be really tired, the training is really becoming hard these days because the tournament is getting closer.

"Thanks Ai."

I nodded.

"What's the problem with the team Earl?" asked Fire.

"Captain's failing all the practice game, he can't make any score. Coach is getting mad but we can't blame Ken, we know he's still grieving." He then peeked at the table next to us.

"You can't do anything about him right now." Ellyse looked at me afterwards, I just gave her a sad expression.

We will all get affected once they fail the game because it's the last game for our basketball team. They need to win to be able to join the tournament next month. But how can they do that if their captain is not doing good? We all know we can't do anything because he's still suffering from the loss of the love of his life. It won't be that easy to tell him to move on.

"You should talk to him, Ayesha."

I was surprised at Fire's suggestion. I pointed myself, "Why does it have to be me? I'm not related to him."

"You are our walking words of wisdom, we believe you can make him feel better for a while. You can do that right?"

I don't agree with that, no matter how they call me that way I still don't believe I can make a person feel better. They call me that because I often do inspirational meeting whenever we are in trouble, I usually do or say things to keep them up because I want everyone to be okay. When they have personal problems they used to seek for my advise too.

I want to always be positive in everything that I do, I know it will not stop problems from coming but having a positive mind can make things less hassle especially for the council.

"But we don't know each other. I mean, we're good civils but I know nothing about him. How am I supposed to talk to him?" I'm aware that Ellyse is probably thinking I'm lying. How can I not know things about him when I like him that much? But it's only Ellyse who knows about it so the team can't force me to do their suggestion.

I can't use this problem just to get close to him. And I don't have the courage to do that.

"Atleast try, Ai? Please? No one can talk to him, coach is losing his patience. We won't make it to the tournament without him, he's an ace. I know you can do that, your presence is already a comfort for everybody." Earl is almost begging, I can see how worried he is but it's just that I really think I can't do it.

"And you can do it as our SC President. You can lay your finger on any problem we face Ayesha."

I took a deep breath. They're right, maybe I'm just worried because it's about Ken. I think I should not involve my feelings regarding this because this is not about it. It's about the upcoming game, I should do this as the student council president and not as Ayesha who likes Ken.

I sighed, "Alright, I'll try to talk to him but I can't promise that he'll be fine. We can't demand him to move on for the game, if the person doesn't have the will we know we can't force him."

They all nodded. Earl smiled at me.

"Where is he?"

"We already talked awhile ago, I told him that maybe I can send you there. He's at the rooftop now, he used to stay there after Kim's death."

I nodded. I put the folders on the table and tasked Ellyse to lead the meeting instead. I called for a short meeting but I have to go and talk to Ken first so I need to leave them for a while. I know Ellyse can handle this alone, our members are good participants.

"I already arranged everything, Ellyse will distribute your works for the foundation week. She will give you the folders, we already have the layout of work and the estimated budget. You have to sign on the main sheets. Ellyse will discuss further, I'll see you later after school." I gathered my things and left them afterwards.

I took a deep breath before heading to the rooftop. You can do this Ayesha, you can always do this.

*

I was taking my steps slowly when I saw Ken sitting on an old chair. I felt like I wanted to back out when I saw him. I can feel his sadness, the place suddenly became gloomy. I feel like my heart wants to cry. I sighed.

I know how painful it is to lose someone you love, to lose someone so dear and important to you. I know how hard it is to wake up every morning, thinking that it's not gonna be the same again. I know how painful it is to seek for their warmth, to crave for their presence, painful is even an understatement.

I have experience to lose not just someone but two important persons in my life. And I know how hard it is, I cried for everyday and every night that I remember them. I cried myself to sleep thinking that tomorrow will be the same again, thinking that it's just a bad dream. And I have felt betrayal the morning that they didn't show up. It took me so long to get over that and if I can do anything for other person not to experience that pain, I'll do it.

I stared at Ken and decided to go to him, something's telling me to comfort him. I don't know why but I would always feel the need to comfort people whenever they are sad. I can't help but try to ease their burden in any ways I can do.

He looked at me when he noticed my presence. I bit my lower lip because I don't know anything to say. I hope Earl is right, that my presence is already a comfort. Because I badly want to help Ken get better.

"Hey.."

"Uhm.." I fidgeted.

"Earl must have asked you to come here, he told me he'll ask for your help."

I nodded. I want to tell him that it's also my will to come here and talk to him, I didn't go here just because they asked me. But I couldn't find the right words to say it.

"I'm sorry." He cuts his gaze from me, he stared at the swaying trees infront of us. "The upcoming game is important for us, especially to the school. And I know I'm wasting all our efforts for the training, I know I'm destroying the trust they gave me." He smiled, but that smile is different from all the smiles I've seen from him. God, why is it so heartbreaking to see him like this?

"The truth is, I want to quit. I don't want to play anymore, I don't want to go to school. Every part of the university reminds me of her. I want to blame someone so I can release this pain and sadness but we all know there's no one to blame."

I stared at him, he remained silent for the past ten minutes. I watch as his eyes flew to the horizon, I watch how he try to be strong because someone is watching, and I saw how broken he is. I saw how broken he is and how he's trying to be sane.

I sighed deeply, setting aside all the feelings I have for him. Forgetting that I like him and just thinking that I want to help him.

"Kim should be happy now, wherever she is, she should be happy."

I stared at the sky, I felt his gaze at me. "We're not close but I know she deserves to be happy. She endured so much pain when she was alive, she was pained till death. She deserves to be happy after everything that had happened. But how will she be happy if all of you are so sad? How can she be happy if all of you can't be at peace for her? I know it's hard to move on, because you love her so much, but I know she's hurting more than all of you are hurting. The pain you all feel is nothing compared to the pain she's feeling. And it will be more painful to her until you accept that she's already gone."

I stared at the clouds at the sky, remembering the times when I was still grieving for my sister and father's death. Kuya Bryan helped me with everything, he never left. I was able to breathe back to life because someone was there for me. And I want Ken to feel that way too, I want him realized there are a lot of people who wants him to be fine. Not just because of the game but because he is important to them.

"Sometimes we just have to think of the things that was still here with us, of the people who are still with us." I looked at him, "Think about your family and your friends. I don't want to tell you to move one because I know that it's not that easy. But when you learn to appreciate and focus on the people who are still there for you, that's when you will learn to keep going. That's when you'll slowly get over the pain, that's when you'll realize that it doesn't hurt anymore."

I smiled at him while he remained staring at me, staring at my face. I couldn't recognize his expression but I was surprised when he pulled me into his arms and cradled me tight.

"Ken.."

"Please, just let me hug you. I just need someone to lean on right now."

I nodded. I silently prayed that he won't hear how fast my heart is racing right now. It was hammering so loud inside my chest. I wasn't able to talk anymore, I didn't say those words for him to do this. I can never take advantage of his state, but if he really need this, I want to atleast let him. I calmed myself and close my eyes. Slowly, I opened my arms to hug him back.

Go on..

*