LOVE PROBABLY

21.

When Jacky comes out of the bathroom, I pretend to be sleeping on the sofa, wrapped in his still-warm blanket. I suspect he took his time on purpose so I could think things through and calm down. He was right. Why does it bother me anyway? He’s a youngster. Girls, he can have a shovel full, much better than me, by the way. Why would he be interested in a country girl like me? Even Rosie is more flirtatious than me.

Watch out… He’s approaching. I hear his footsteps on the floor. I hear his breath. My God… His hand brushes my hair, a shiver runs through me. I shudder while remaining like marble. At least, that’s what I hope. To finish convincing him, I fake a little snore. Am I even believable?

“Maddie, something tells me you can hear me. Don’t worry about it. You’ll find him, the man of your life. I’m sure. And I even have some friends a little older than me that you could meet. Will probably have to change two or three things but it will do. When we solve this apartment thing, we can organise a meal. That would be cool. Come on, good night, Maddie. Since you took the sofa from me, I’m getting my room back. I hope you didn’t mess up in my bed, little rascal!” he laughs, walking away.

I open one eye discreetly to look at his ass. Damn… If only… But! Why did he say such a thing to me? What else could I possibly have told him? The tale of the hairbrush is already HUGE! I couldn’t do worse! Well… do we really need to talk about this again? Is it really necessary? I decide not. The subject is closed. I’m a virgin, so what? If this bothers someone, let it go!

Disturbed by recent events, I can’t get back to sleep. Incessant pulsations hit my temples and it’s a washing machine in my stomach. Never again will I drink! Yes, I know, it’s very solemn to say that kind of thing. Excuse me! But never again...

Shaken by a violent spasm, I don’t immediately understand what will follow. It’s at the second abdominal tremolo that I understand the message. Quick! Toilet!

I’ll spare you the details because it’s really disgusting. Yes, you’re insightful! In fact, you got it all. I haven’t vomited since… Who remembers? It really is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me. Well… Apart from the death of mom, of course.

I remain, emptied (that’s the case so I said it), suspended above the toilets when Jacky, all smiles, appears at the door.

“Congratulations on your first drunk!” he says, handing me a towel and pressing the flush button. “Great! You knew how to aim! You’re a champion!”

How does he know it’s my first binge? Is it so easy to guess?

“Go to hell!” I cried, still out of breath, hoping from the bottom of my heart that it wouldn’t happen again.

“Go to hell? Are you serious here? You wouldn’t have an insult a little more, how to say… More current?” he suggests, laughing.

“Stop kidding! That’s really not nice,” I retort, wiping my mouth.

“I like to tease you. You know what they say: He who loves well punishes well! Come on, come sit down! I’ll make you a cocktail.”

“I don’t want to hear about cocktails in my entire life!” I yelled, holding back a gag, provoking yet another giggle from Jacky.

I try to regain some dignity by wrapping myself in his blanket. Meanwhile, he’s busy in the kitchen. He comes back, handing me a glass whose transparent beverage quivers.

“Here, drink this!” he orders me.

“Uh... Can I ask you what this glass contains?”

“Confidence reigns, I see. It’s just aspirin. ASPIRIN. Have you ever heard this word?”

“Are you making fun of me again?”

“Yeah… Sorry, Maddie.”

“I forgive you. Thanks for the aspirin,” I mumble, lapping up the liquid despite the small splashes over my nose.

“I feel to blame,” he admits, watching me. “I should have stopped you from drinking. I knew right away that you weren’t a heavy drinker.”

“Hmm ... It’s not your fault. I wanted to impress you. It was a bad idea. Also, a woman who drinks looks really bad.”

“Oh... Nothing is surprising these days. You should go out a bit more, you’ll soon realise that. But then, is it true? You never left your hometown?”

“No... It’s crazy, isn’t it?”

“You right, it’s crazy! We’ll have to make up for the lost time. On the other hand… If you accept advice, be careful! Avoid drinking. It doesn’t work for you. If I had been someone else, it would have been very easy to abuse you.”

“Oh, yes?” I wondered, blushing and ashamed.

“You seem to know me well,” I resume. “But, I know nothing about you, except that you live in my apartment. Do you live alone here?”

“Yes, since my mother left to live with her new boyfriend. If all goes well, Lea should come and settle down with me. Lea is my girlfriend,” he adds, seeing my questioning look.

Oh, right! This explains it: if he didn’t jump on me, it’s because he already has someone. I was sure!

“So you have a girlfriend?” I said, looking detached.

“Yeah. She’s doing an end-of-studies internship in Canada. It’s quite tense between us at the moment, because of the distance. I don’t control what’s going on there and she seems to be taking full advantage of it, which tends to annoy me particularly.”

“Oh… I’m sorry. And how long does her internship last?” I ask, yawning.

“Six months. She’s been there for a little over a month. It’s hard…”

I watch him carefully as he tells me his story with Lea, the lucky girl. His profile reminds me of someone but I can’t say who. No doubt one of those reality TV stars who appear on television.

Without him realising it, I examine him scrupulously. He’s a handsome man. He’s bound to have beautiful children. He has a nice fine nose. His eyes are clear and hypnotic. His medium-length, light brown hair looks so soft. It gives me an irresistible urge to run my fingers through it. His pretty lips quiver delicately as he speaks. And this body… He must spend hours at the gym… Mmm. I really like this boy. I would gladly abandon myself in his arms, for a brief moment, if he allowed me to.

Already, I no longer hear what he’s saying. His voice becomes more and more distant like a lullaby whispered in the ear of a child when falling asleep. My eyelids are heavy. Morpheus is back.