Chapter ThreeElle
Yoga. I really need to take up yoga. It’s probably the only thing that will keep me from sucker punching my ex in the d**k today. This is the thought that pervades my brain as I inspect my lipstick in the gilded bathroom mirror of the country club.
Sighing, I check my reflection one last time and smooth my hair. I know black is supposed to be slimming, so why does it feel like I’ve stuffed myself inside a sausage casing? Why do I feel like a busted can of biscuits in this getup?
Ugh. Breathe, Elle.
“God blessed you with these amazing curves. Don’t hide them.” Christine turns to face me, the corners of her mouth pulled down. It’s like she can read my mind.
I roll my eyes. “I couldn’t hide them even if I wanted to. My Spanx are earning every dime I spent on them.”
She
