Finding Hope

Chapter One

1. Party Ready.

Larissa P.O.V:

I cannot recall the last time I closed my eyes and took in the midnight air. Imaging myself standing over the waterfall, listening to the stream of burbles as it travelled along it's bed, bubbling over rocks and branches.Thinking back of a time I had finally found peace with the world, that everything around me went away somehow. Though, I can not recall the last time I was alone nor when I had two minutes to myself. Thinking about this certain memory helps me cope throughout the day.

Over the past three years, things took a turn for the worst. The pain in my heart weighed a ton, I no longer felt happy and with the lost of our child a year ago. It was like nothing was going right since the birth of our son Marco. Even our marriage is hanging on by a thread. I feel like escaping reality was beginning to be an option.

Though the bad out weighed the good. I tried to remain strong for our son, Marco. Even forcing a smile in front of him is breaking my heart. Without a doubt being a mother is great but trying to be a mother while coping with depression is hard. Sometimes I feel as if he would be better off without me because he deserves the world that I can't give.

There was a time Logan and I talked about adding to our family tree. Thinking about it feels so long ago. What am I saying, it was a long time ago. I remember the conversations like it was yesterday too. We would stay up late planning when we should have s*x. What house both our children would like. He even placed his hand on my belly some nights while we slept, as if I was carrying.

Until one day I found out I was pregnant. I only mentioned it to a couple people but I made sure no one  else knew.  Even I didn't want to tell Logan because I wanted to throw him a surprise party. A way I could announce what he always wanted and dreamed of, another cub.

--ONE YEAR AGO--

One early morning as I woke. I hurried downstairs to our kitchen and got Marco's lunch ready for kindergarten, prepared breakfast for Logan and Marco and made sure I made no noise while doing so. Wanted to get it ready, So that when I arrived back I could quickly cook up their breakfast before they  even noticed I had left home. This was my only shot to do it. I made sure Logan had heaps of alpha work to do last night and gave Marco a chocolate bar. So, he would go to be late and wake up late. Once I was done, I quietly exited out the kitchen back door and ran towards the pack hospital where my doctor was waiting. I even made sure that he would meet me early in the morning. I just hope once I got there, he was there.

When I arrived, Doctor Michael was there to greet me. "Good morning Luna,' Doctor Michael whispered for only I could hear. Here for your check up? He questioned" Smiling, like meet at 5 am was a normal hour. 

"Good morning,' I replied. I sure am but I have to make this quick, Logan doesn't know I had left the house". "Very well,' he replied" placing a hand on my lower back, guiding me towards the ultrasound room. Once there, we went through the normal procedures I remembered having when I was pregnant with Marco.

 As he was done checking everything over with me, it was time to see my little nugget ."Luna, would you mind lying down, raising your top and placing this cloth over your pants before we get started" he smiled, holding out a piece of white cloth. "OK!" I smiled before doing what he instructed me to do. "Just letting you know Luna, the gel is abit cold,' he said". As he squirted the cold gel over my bully. First thing I heard was it's heart beat and soon after that I saw tiny little feet and arms that appeared on the screen. 

"There you go Luna,' said Doctor Michael. There is your little cub." he smiled as he moved the convex transducer around. "You are about 17 weeks pregnant, congratulations Luna,' said the Doctor".  There is was my cub, kicking away on the screen. My doctor cleared his throat, "Luna, would you like me to print a photo of your baby for you? he questioned". "Yes please!,' I replied" as I wiped the gel off my belly, while checking the clock on my watch tick by. 

"Here you are Luna, don't forget to look after yourself Luna. I have noticed you're low in iron which is common during a second pregnancy," said Doctor Michael. "Thanks again doc. Oh ! before I go please don't tell anyone!". He nodded and I was on my way rushing home before Logan and Marco woke.

I had just made it through the front door when I heard the upstairs toilet flush. I quickly took off my clothes and put on one of Logan's T-shirt from the pile of washing on the sofa that had been sitting in the basket. I hadn't done the washing in a while but I'm pretty sure it was clean. Now, that I think about it my house was in a messy state too.

I could hear Logan's heavy foot steps making it's way to the stairs. So, I quickly crept back into the kitchen. Pulled out the plates I had prepared earlier and begun warming them up. My heart wouldn't stop racing, Even when I felt him cuddle me from behind.

"Good morning babe!,' Logan whispered in to my ear. That smells delicious,' he replied" before yawning loudly into my ear. "Thanks babe!,' I replied but I make this every morning for you,' I smiled tiredly". He laughed softly. His hot breath running down my neck.

Taking a seat at the kitchen counter, he yawned. I placed his food in front of him and tried to keep my self  busy. My morning sickness kicked in again and if I wasn't careful. My plan for a surprise party won't work.

 "So! Ah! Babe! How was your dream last night,' I questioned". Trying my best to create a distraction for myself, he arched an eyebrow and coughed. "Ah! it was great?,' he replied, taking a sip from his hot morning coffee. And Ah! how was your's? he questioned". Before I could answer Marco walked into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. 

I loved the way they both woke up in the morning. They both looked extremely cute with their morning wild hair. "Good morning son, are you hungry?". "No, thank you mommy. I just want to draw before kindergarten", he replied. "Son, you have to eat something. You know an alpha never leaves his home without eating. I think you should have at least a banana before kindergarten" Logan uttered. "Ok dad but I don't want be an alpha when I grow up. I want to be batman!" he replied. Logan smiled "Sure son! You can be who ever you want to be". I glanced between them both. "Alright boys, well I need to get ready before we head off. Is there anything else you guy's need?"  I questioned. Hoping I wouldn't have to stand here for another second. 

"No, we're sweet babe. You get ready. I'll do Marco" Logan replied. I nodded, quickly making my way upstairs to our bathroom toilet to vomit. Once I was done, I gave my belly a gentle rub and whispered 'Please be good for mommy today. Just hang on for a little bit longer ok bubba' before taking a long waited  hot shower. 

When I finished having shower and getting ready I made my way downstairs. Where a well groomed little boy was waiting for me with his batman bag pack on. "Look mom! I'm ready. I'm ready for school!" he smiled brightly. I smiled back at him "You sure are son!".

"Logan! Logan! where are you?' I yelled. "Here my love!" he grinned as he stood in front of me wearing nothing but his black shorts. Logan had one of the sexiest physique I have ever laid my eyes on. A body that made you want to lick, every chance you got. A height he had that made you want to climb and boy did I want too. Didn't help my hormones were all over the place.

"Uh-uh... I.. I.. ' I stuttered. I just wanted to let you know I'm throwing a small get together at the pack house today and before you roll your eyes Mr Black! You are coming. So, what ever you had planned today. You need to cancel and Oh! before I forget I need you to be there at 6pm. Please pick up a batch of chocolate croissants too at the bakery" I uttered. "Yes mam!" He replied, laughing. 

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Uh huh!" I replied before placing a small peck onto his warm redden cheeks. As we begun making our way to Marco's kindergarten, Georgia yelled out from a far. "Oi ugly! Wait up for us!,' she yelled while running with her son Roman in her arms.  

"Well hurry up girl, we ain't got all year!,' I replied". She had finally caught up to us before saying "You walk pretty fast for a whale!,' she laughed". "Talking about yourself ,' I replied as I laughed with her before exchanging hugs. 

Roman and Marco walked in front of us holding hands. While Georgia and I followed closely behind. "So! what are we doing today big mama?" Georgia questioned. " Well first of all, I found out this morning that I'm seventeen weeks pregnant and secondly we are throwing a surprise party for Logan tonight. So, we need to order food and decorations. Oh and I want to do up a surprise box for him" I replied. Pulling out my baby's scan and handing it to her. "O.M.G!,' Georgia replied. Look at those tiny little hands and feet. I can't wait to meet her or him but I wonder who it's going to look like. I wonder if 's another little Logan or a little Larissa" she smiled as tears began to form in her eyes. "I know, I hope it looks like Logan but no matter what this baby is going to be loved by all of us". I replied as we continued to walk in comfortable silence until we arrived at our children's kindergarten. From there we gave our little cubs kisses and hugs before we said our farewells. 

Today, I knew it was going to be a mission setting up the party without Logan knowing but Georgia had a plan for that. A plan that I hoped that it seriously worked. The plan was to have Logan and the pack train outside for four hours, deliver lunch for them to have outside for another two hours, get Logan to play some outdoor games with the pack and hopefully from there, they all get ready and join us for the party. While they are outside working, Georgia and I decorate inside before picking up our children. Which sounded easy before we did the work. 

During our decorating process Logan got a bit curious a couple times. He even made my heart flat-line a couple times when he tried to barge in to the main hall while Georgia was inside decorating. I was determined to make sure he wouldn't enter and I have to admit I did it well. 

The hall was now done and closed off, food was on it's way and our children picked up, bathed and ready to party. Even I have to admit how the day flowed through once we were done decorating. In my spare time, I even made up the surprise gift box I had ready for Logan. Which had the pregnancy test I had taken weeks prior, a printed onesie with the words 'Here I come, baby number 2' and a picture of the baby scan that was taken today. Tonight is going to be wonderful night because tonight Logan would now find out he had created another miracle that would be due soon.