Just Rose

Chapter 30

Rose found transitioning back into a normal routine hard over the next few weeks. It was almost impossible. Never knowing when they could steal moments together, sneaking around in the night and his leaving before daybreak when he did stay. Out of town meet ups became a little too frequent, arriving in separate cars and leaving that way, it was really starting to get to her. In public, they acted like casual friends, in front of Abby, both so sure to keep anything hidden and would not look at one another too much.

Rob’s frequent business strips cut into their time together too, so when he wasn’t playing Laird in public and having to keep his distance or jetting off to deal with the Munro’s family business in whisky and oil, he was committed to helping Morag. Years of being her rock and shoulder to lean on, he would accompany her to appointments and help her with museum issues; seeing as he was a silent investor. Rob’s time was split up hectically, which meant finding time for them alone to just be together as a couple was proving harder than they had anticipated. A constant juggling act.

Lying to Abby was the worst part of all, although something deep down told Rose she knew more than she let on. Odd looks and knowing half smiles, occasional comments that hinted that Abby knew something but was not going to come out and say for sure. It was killing Rose inside and Rob too, both had to keep reminding themselves why she couldn’t know.

They could never stay at the manor because of that and Morag, she had this highly annoying habit of popping by whenever the mood took her, day or night! She liked to pop by at every opportunity, claiming it was museum related or generally monopolising his time when he was home. The drunken episode of showing up at his house in the little hours was repeated several times; Rob telling Rose that Morag was relapsing, and her mental health team were trying to get on top of her medication and mood swings. Alcohol was one of her worst vices and lately she had been drinking far more than ever before.

After three nights in a row of Morag showing up at the Manor, drunk and irrational, they had to cut down on nights he did stay with her, in case Abby was again left to deal with the aggressive woman. Rob, the eternal brotherly protector, was torn with guilt over it.

Instead of lying in bed curled in his arms and drifting off to sleep, she would have to watch him dress in the dark and leave. She had begun pretending she was asleep, so she did not have to pretend to be okay with his departure. Breaking inwardly every time he leant down in the darkness to brush a kiss across her hair.

It was during a minor row over this she found out Morag had a key to the manor and had done for ten years.

‘Why?’ She was fueled by frustration, over another night that he had been torn from her by his phone illuminating in the darkness. Getting up to go, getting his clothes on; same familiar scene that was replayed anytime they did steal time here together.

‘Because at one point she was almost family Rose, she lived there for a while when she had nowhere else to go; it’s not ever really been a great time to say, ‘Oh can I have the key back.’ He was pacing around equally annoyed. Aware that lately, a tension had been growing between them. Morag’s antics had escalated of late and he was being pulled in two directions constantly, torn as the friend who did actually care about the woman and the boyfriend who was trying so hard to keep Rose happy.

‘So, she’s just able to freely walk in at any time? Walk into your bedroom at any hour?’ Rose could not conceal her anger and jealousy, hating that she sounded this way but breaking inside with all the recent anxiety that had built inside of her. The deceit of how they had been living.

‘Obviously...Hence all the drunken appearances!’ He was scrubbing his hair with his fingers, standing facing out into the garden at the window. Tense and straight. Even angry he had a way of making her feel weak at the knees.

‘Take it back! Maybe then you wouldn’t have to sneak out like some Casanova from my bed most nights!’ She snapped, knowing she was being unfair. This is what she had agreed too but she could not keep this bubbling emotion locked down forever. It grew more and more uncontrollable as time went on and the situation didn’t seem to be improving in any way.

‘You think I haven’t thought of that? What difference would it make? She would still show up banging down the door and setting the alarms off instead. Draw a hell of a lot more drama at stupid o’clock.

Tommy and Alice live close enough that it would become their problem too. And my fathers!’ He wasn’t snapping at her, but he may as well have been, his voice tight and his actions agitated. This was their first real row over this.

‘It feels like nothing is moving forward Rob!’ Her voice shook. ‘We’re just brushing it aside and it feels like this is it for us.’ Her voice broke as emotion hit, her bottom lip trembling so that she looked away to regain control.

His face relaxed and he turned to look at her, so many emotions passing in an instant. Mostly regret as he took her face in; closing the gap between them, he pulled her against him, his hands coming to her hair and kissing her crown gently.

‘I’m sorry honey. I don’t want to fight with you. I am trying Rose! I’m out of my depth with her, I feel like the older she gets the worse it is, and I don’t want to push her over the edge again. This is not all there is for us. I want so much more, and I won’t stop until I have it, but I have to be delicate with her right now. She’s unwell and she’s struggling.’ He pulled back to lift her chin to him, bringing her eyes to his. ‘I want you in my bed, by my side. I want to be able to take you out to lunch or walk around hand in hand. I want everyone to know that I’m crazy about you and a future where there is no hiding and no secrets.’ He lifted her chin higher, gently with his fingers and silenced her with a long slow kiss. He had become an expert at kissing her in exactly the right way to evoke any mood he desired and right now he was trying to bring about an end to the argument. Rose was distracted enough to forget that they had not actually come to any solution or agreement over Morag’s key.