Just Rose

Chapter 34

He didn’t knock when he got to her door, just barged in, calling on her and wandered through at speed, obviously intent on finding her. She was by the cooker, trying to steady her nerves and make herself busy by wiping counter tops and moving canisters for no real reason. Spotting her he caught her shoulder and spun her to him caging her against the counter with a hand thrust at either side of her, so they were nose to nose. She inhaled sharply with the anger in those steely eyes.

‘What the f**k was that?’ He snapped at her, no love or warmth in that face right now. Rose jutted her chin up, not afraid to meet his glare.

‘You tell me.... How would you feel if I was canoodling with someone ... say, Matt ... In the bakery like that!’ She jibed, sarcasm thick and eyes still streaming tears.

‘Don’t do that! You know it’s not the f*****g same. There was nothing going on... What the hell has gotten into you today?’ He slammed his hand on the counter as he pushed off, putting space between them and turned his back on her.

‘I hate that you let her paw all over you like that, you have no idea how it makes me feel.’ She blurted out emotionally, wiping her tears on her naked wrist but it was futile.

‘I would never do anything, she’s harmless.... It means nothing, no different to hugging Abby or Alice or any female I know that I care about.’

‘You never had s*x or a relationship with Abby or Alice!’ Rose snapped, fury coming from low down and angst that he couldn’t see why this was different.

‘For the love of god... I should have stayed at the bakery or gone home. Instead of this bullshit. This wasn’t worth the drive over.’ Rob had spun to face her again, pushing his butt against the opposite counter and crossing his arms menacingly over his chest.

‘You’re saying I’m not worth it?’ She spat, tears subsiding to be replaced with irrational fury. Wounded by his inability to see why this bothered her. Rob wasn’t an overly jealous guy from what she had seen and even she knew he would have flipped out if roles were reversed.

‘Don’t put words in my mouth, you know that’s not what I said.’

He was pacing angrily, his body sending out sparks of rage across the room. The atmosphere electric with two strong forces sizzling in combat, neither able to back down.

‘I am pretty sure that’s what you meant, even though you didn’t word it that way.’ Rose sobbed, hating that they were fighting but still unable to stop, hating that he was making her this mad and hysterical.

‘Typical woman! Can’t just take anything at face value but has to twist its meaning so she’s always the victim!’ He barked, once again pushing off from his stand point and pacing across the room to slam things about the worktop.

‘f**k you Rob. I AM the victim in this. Do you think I enjoy having to keep my mouth shut, every time I see you canoodling with the woman, who you claim means nothing more to you than friendship? It sure as hell did not look that way to me.’ She wiped her face angrily, tears subsiding as rage became the dominant force. Hurt by his behaviour and the way he was talking to her. Yelling at her!

‘Did I look like I was doing anything in return? Do you really think I have the energy to f**k both of you Rose? I spend most of my free time here with you. I’m pretty sure the amount of f*****g we do is more than enough for any guy.’ He spun towards her, his eyes so dark they looked terrifying.

‘Is that what I am? Just someone to f**k? Someone to fill your free time?’ She baulked, only taking from it what her frayed emotions would allow. Rational or not.

‘For the love of god woman! You’re f*****g insane, you know that, right?’ He stormed out of the room, exasperated, throwing his hands up aggressively as though he wanted to strangle her and stalked into the lounge, trying to reel in his temper.

Rose gasped, open mouthed disbelief that he would even say that to her.... Insane? Her? She wasn’t the one snuggling up to her ex for fear the they would top themselves and allowing the person they loved to be left out in the cold. If anyone was insane then he was pointing a finger at the wrong bloody woman. Rose sniffed, a new wave of tears hitting her hard, she pulled open the door which led directly to the hall and stomped out, bypassing the lounge and heading straight for her own front door, bawling her eyes out.

She stormed out of the cottage in floods of tears, so fed up with the situation and that woman! Bruised by his words and her head a swirling mass of every emotion going crazy.

Hearing the door slam he came after her fast, catching hold before she even made it to the gate.

‘Woah, stop Rose.’ He grasped her wrist, tried to pull her back to him, his anger replaced with remorse and pleading. Regret at saying things in fury, at letting words tumble out without thinking.

‘Go away, leave me alone.’ She wrestled to get free, but he was all around her in an instant, pulling her body to his, trying to turn her face to meet his eyes.

‘Baby, I’m sorry. Rose look at me. I’m sorry.’ He was panicking, while she was howling and here they were, tangled and over emotional in her front garden as the sun began to go down.

‘f**k you.’ She croaked, losing her strength in his tight embrace and giving in as he pulled her face to his chest.

‘I love you.’ Was all he could say as the last ounces of fight in her dispersed and he could finally, fully pull her into an embrace.

‘If you loved me you would stop torturing me.’ She sobbed quietly, her arms snaking around him despite herself. Being weak when it came to him was something that annoyed her on so many levels, but she couldn’t help it.

‘No more, I swear. I won’t let her touch me. I won’t touch her. If that’s what makes you believe that there is nothing in this.’ He pressed his mouth to the top of her head, breathing warmly into her scalp and she couldn’t fight it anymore. Couldn’t stay angry when all she wanted was to let him pull her inside and curl up to forget all of this.

‘I don’t know how much more of this I can endure’ She stifled more tears, her voice shaky and her heart aching. Something had to give, the way things were, it seemed to be getting harder for her.

‘I’ll tell her.... About you. About us. Soon. I swear.’ His voice broke with emotion that matched hers and she felt his body tension begin to slide away. Picking her up in his arms and holding her close so he could look her in the eye. ‘I won’t keep putting you through this.’ He leaned in softly and captured her mouth, kissing her slowly at first and then dropping her feet to the ground gently so he could use his hands to tilt her jaw and kiss her passionately, heat building between them fast. Even more so than normal. He kissed her hard and deeply, tongues met and throats groaned, lost in each other until fever pitched so high he dragged her inside and peeled her clothes off frantically.

After they made love, he cradled her close, listening to the sound of her breathing, her head against his chest, she was lulled into silence by the steady rhythm of his heart. Both lost in thought and pondering the last few hours with a sense of foreboding.

Rob was becoming increasingly agitated; she could tell, although he tried to hide it, but it was obvious the growing tension was clawing away at both of them if today was anything to go by. Lately things had seemed strained, always an underlying atmosphere around them and it was starting to break Rose’s heart. She knew this was tainting what they had, and she wasn’t sure anymore if they would get through this.