Just Rose

Chapter 25

She tried not to eavesdrop, but the slight raise in his voice made it hard not to. He sounded annoyed. They were arguing. Somehow that made Rose feel a little bit better, trouble in paradise and all that. He moved further into the cottage, obvious he did not want Rose to hear and she could no longer strain over the side of her chair to eavesdrop anyway. She got up and walked down the end of the garden, away from the house to kill all temptation. She didn’t really want to know what they were arguing about; she didn’t want to hear him talking to her at all, and she just figured this was a better way to deal with it.

Admiring the fields beyond and the prettiness of the summer countryside from her vantage point, she tried to bring her focus and feelings back to calm. She didn’t hear him return but she felt her skin prickling as he appeared directly behind her, wondering why he was so close. She didn’t turn or say anything, assuming he would go back to the doors near the cottage or maybe start a conversation, seeing as he was intent on practically leaning into her. She almost jumped in fright as his warm arm came around her waist from behind, hooking her firmly and tugging her back with a jerk, sweeping her up in his arms and her face was instantly faced with his, extremely close. She gave out an involuntary small squeal in reaction. He had trundled her into his arms, swept her against him in a smooth move with her feet miles from the ground. His eyes were back to that storming grey, his face unreadable, Rose had no clue how to react.

He said nothing just swept her against him and caught her mouth in a kiss that melted away all resistance and rendered her completely speechless.

Rose didn’t need to be told twice, or kissed twice, she kissed him back feverishly; her hand coming around his neck to pull them closer together and pushing all thoughts of his ‘girlfriend’ far out of her mind rather successfully. The kiss matched and exceeded the passion of the one previously and had Rose’s heart pounding through her chest, his own reflected in rhythm.

While still locked to her lips with his own, he turned and marched into the cottage with her, kicking open her bedroom door; stalking in as though he had been here a million times before and dumped her on the bed in the most unceremonious way.

Not sure whether to fear for her life or be overtaken with joy, she crawled backwards, moving away so he had space to get on. He followed, climbing onto her bed, his knees planted firmly between her ankles and moved forward, catching her with one hand at the nape of her neck, he dragged her face to his and began kissing her in a way that could not be misunderstood at all. He wanted her and for some unknown reason had decided to act on it right now and with very little conversation on the matter. He was so much more forceful about it than he had been last night, and it was pretty evident he wasn’t changing his mind this time. Rose almost cried with happiness and tried hard to push Morag out of her head.

Things escalated quickly; from passionate hot kiss to entangled bodies rolling on the bed, hands fumbling and exploring. Clothes being ripped open frantically and shoes kicked off with wild abandon. Rose got lost in the hot craziness of it, pulled in by sheer lust in a way she never knew she could react; by something more. She was beyond lust, this feeling, the way he made her feel. She was falling in love with him, had been for weeks and she knew she was probably about to surrender in the most stupid way, but she didn’t care.

As things became heated to the point that hands began sliding into undergarments, heading towards the point of no return, Rob guided Rose’s hands by the wrists above her head and pinned them down to the pillow. His breathing heavy and ragged, he broke free from her kiss and rested his forehead against hers. Locking eyes; both struggling to regain composure.

‘Not like this Rose.’ His voice was husky and heavy, his breathing rapid; he leaned over her, caging her in and looked breath-taking. Pinned down by his body on top of hers, her lips swollen by hungry kisses and passion, her eyes questioning him defiantly; he groaned. ‘As hard as it is to stop; we need to.’ She could see the storm in his eyes and the battle for control in his face.

‘Why?’ Her voice was barely a whisper as she struggled to compose herself, trying to steady her breathing enough to formulate words. Feeling that rise of fear lifting inside and a tinge of uncertainty.

‘It’s complicated. I want this, I want you...I just can’t right now.’ He looked devastated but stayed with eyes locked, noses brushing softly. His mouth finding hers again, this time gently and only brushing, nothing more. A gentle teasing motion that was only fueling her passion instead of calming it. ‘You drive me crazy. You know that, right?’ He pushed his forehead against hers and smiled but Rose only frowned back, aching with confusion.

She didn’t reply, just searched his face for answers but none came. Instead, he moved off her and leaning back on his haunches, pulled her to sit up. Brushing her hair back and touching her face, she could tell he was searching for the words.

‘It’s Morag, isn’t it?’ her voice was deflated and broken, and she was cursing herself internally that she was so stupid, she wasn’t mistress material and as much as she wanted him she had been an i***t to be so weak. He frowned and dropped his eyes to her lap, finding her dainty hands and scooping them into his. The warmth of his skin was too alluring for her to pull away.

‘Yes...But not in the way you think.’ He tilted his head back towards the ceiling, as though looking for help. Searching for some sort of way to answer. Sighing with frustration and revealing his long muscular tanned neck. He was wrestling internally.

‘So, tell me... I think I’m owed an explanation... Especially after this!’ She nodded towards the bed, strewn with messy covers and scattered cushions. The consequence of the previous chaos.

‘She loves me. ’He shrugged emptily. ‘She can’t get over it. She thinks she needs me; Maybe she does.’ He slid off the bed, releasing Rose and leaving her feeling cold and rejected as he went to stand in the room and started fixing his clothes. Pulling the fluffy cushion into her stomach, to cuddle away the sudden shivers running through her, she watched him as he then started to pace the room.

‘She’s struggling right now. She has issues. We were together for a while, on and off but she can’t accept that we’re done and to be honest, she isn’t exactly in the frame of mind right now for me to push it.’ He looked towards Rose and try as she might to tell herself he was lying, she found she believed him. Relieved that here he was, telling her that

Morag was not his girlfriend. Somehow it made her feel less shameful.

‘So, she believes your together and you’re letting her think it?... Are you sleeping with her?’ She knew She had to ask. Once and for all. After being kissed that way and getting to the almost point of s*x, she was owed a very clear answer.

‘No. And it’s not that simple. She knows we’re not together, but she’s trying, I mean really trying, to get me back; she’s not well Rose. I think right now she’s more than capable of another suicide attempt.’ He assumed Abby had told her of Morag’s past so didn’t elaborate. His eyes were pleading, his voice strained. He had stopped pacing and returned to perch on the end of the bed. His face a picture of turmoil, his eyes storming in ways she had never seen.

‘What are you saying?’ She was really trying to second guess him, but it was not really falling into place. Afraid to try and formulate her own answers. ‘You want me to be your secret screw? Anytime your horny and I get a call, right?’ She couldn’t stop the frosty emotion raw in her voice. She was trying to push away this overwhelming feeling of rejection and bitterness, dejected and looking at this with skepticism.

‘Rose... ‘He sighed. ‘It’s not like that.’ He shook his head. ‘This!...us!... You make it near damn impossible for me to function. Looking the way, you do. Smelling the way, you do. God, even when you’re mad at me like right now, all I want to do is drag you over and rip your clothes off.’ He got up from the bed emphasising the fact he didn’t trust himself near her.

‘I was angry with her...All morning all I wanted was to get over here and see you... I wrestled all god damn night with myself. I almost drove over here a hundred times after I kissed you; I wanted to tell you all of this. I fought with her all the way back from the airport about this crap between her and I, trying to tell her, trying to make it possible to be with you. It was obvious that wasn’t going to happen.’ He pulled Rose closer by the hand, bridging the space with his own body and pulling her into his lap.

‘I tried to think about this rationally and stop it before it got out of hand. Being with you today, knowing you were upset about it. Drove me crazy! She...Just as usual, made me so pissed, the same crap on the phone and there you were. Standing there looking soft and feminine, uncomplicated and inviting. Beautiful! I have wanted you so badly from the first moment I met you. I just went into autopilot, I just needed to wrap myself in you...To feel you... Screw the consequences. I’m so sick of fighting how I feel about you and I’m losing my mind over all of this... I‘m sorry Rose...None of this is fair on you.’ He buried his face in her neck and breathed her in, as though trying to make the most of the time he had left. He was making it clear that after this, they would be going nowhere.