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CHAPTER FIVE: - CLOSURES

Eric squared at Clarisse and spoke, “why’d you want to know?”

“You were not like this?” Clarisse gestured at his suit.

“ Neither were you.”

“I…,” Clarisse lapsed to a thought, “… have a son to look after.”

“Really?” Eric paced forward.

“What?”

“Stop using Sam as an excuse.”

“No…, I am not using him as an excuse.” She retorted.

“He is definitely not the reason for your sorrows and miseries…,” Eric said, “… he is the way out. A cure and remedy for a broken heart.”

“Indeed, he is the one who kept me going through the endeavours and all the complications. You know I really had a hard time getting over you.” Clarisse confessed, “… I hooked up with random strangers to find the lost pieces of my heart. Never found them. Not until…” She paused.

Clarisse almost spoke of Wichita but somehow contained herself.

“Until?” Eric probed.

“Until I found Raymond. He is a married man though, but he took great care of us. Provided with everything that we needed. He helped me to get Sam into a good school.” She concluded.

“I see...,” Eric said deadpanned, “… so, what now?”

“Now…,” Clarisse rolled her eyes, “… we go to the movies.”

“See, that’s what I am talking about.” Eric pointed out, “… the Clarisse I once knew never stalled the questions.”

“Neither did you,” Clarisse stated.

“Why can’t we come to an agreement that our lives have changed and we’ve adopted them. And also, we aren’t teenagers anymore, are we?”

“No…,” Clarisse took it further, “… Eric, something has changed you against your will. I changed with the acceptance of my situation and with the demands of it.”

“What do you want to know, Clarisse?”

“You know what?”

“Do you want me to break down here in the middle of a picnic spot and cry on your shoulders? No Clarisse, I didn’t ask for any of this but, I’ve got responsibilities.” Eric said curtly.

“You don’t have to take responsibilities for the things you didn’t sign up for.”

“No…, I have got a family name to maintain Clarisse. I just can’t let go. What do you think the party members would do?”

“Why do you even care about them-?”

“Because it’s my job. God, Clarisse.” Eric snapped, “why do I feel you are trying to convince yourself about it, not me? What’s the matter with you?”

Clarisse's eyes widened. Eric had hit a nerve in her. She did sounded as like she was trying to forget what she had done and finding a justification for herself in Eric’s interrogation. Just a little of Eric’s feelings on the table would’ve helped her in loathing herself a little less. She admired Eric for adopting the situation and letting go of what had happened.

Instead of whining about his misfortune, he’d embraced his fate at an early age. Eric was the same age as Clarisse, but he complained a little less about life being unfair.

“Look, Eric, we’ve been through a lot,” she said, “… I have no right to pry into your life after all these years. We’ve changed. Yes, you were right about what you said ‘can’t we come to an agreement'.’ I think that’s the best in the interest of us all.”

“Whatever it is bothering you just…,” Eric waited for the words to flow, but a chug in his throat stopped them. He cleared his throat and said, “… make peace with your demons while you can before transforming into them. That’s all I can tell you.”

“I think I am beyond that.” Clarisse sighed.

“No, not yet. You will know when you cross. Now, let’s go. Sam is waiting. I’ve got a meeting at eight this evening,” Eric concluded.

“Eric…,” Clarisse called out hesitantly when Eric was a few steps ahead of her.

“What now?” His forehead furrowed.

“I shouldn’t have blamed you…,” Clarisse scrutinized Eric’s face, looking for the signs of a frown. His face was in composure, and so she continued, “… I know you had your reasons. You were compelled or left no choice. But I need closure. I need to know what happened and why didn’t you come back or why you left? I need to be at peace, I need to be around you, because I am done hating you for the mistakes you never commit.”

“Clarisse, what you ask is fair.” He said, “… after the death of my father, they needed a Lewis name for them to run for the senator’s elections. And so they chose me. I had to take it, and now I am campaigning. This happened now. And what happened then? Well, just know that they didn’t tell me you were keeping Sam, and if you did, they would take care of the baby. And they sent me away with a lie. It freaked me out, okay. But I cared for you. I loved you.” Eric’s eyes screaming out the pain which was buried deep inside him till this day.

A momentary nostalgia flickered inside Eric's mind. The images from that day all at once rallied through his thoughts, breaking the chain of other concerns which were of significance at the moment.

Clarisse threw her arms around Eric and sobbed. She felt loved right here, in this moment, with Eric, just like in her high school days. It was Eric all along. She noticed that tiny glimmer of moist in Eric's eyes. She realized that he took no pleasure in all of this. It's not his fault if they kept him oblivious.