MY CHEATING HUSBAND

EP 9 (I AM SCREWED)

Present time

Bluebells POV

“You have been silent since Moss was discharged from the hospital,” Jay sputtered when he found me staring through the window.

The past week since Moss was admitted had been the darkest phase of my life.

Jay only come in the morning to check on us while the rest of the time he was off saying that he needed to work on a big case. He was literally using that time to cheat.

My heartbeat grew erratic with each passing day. I have never felt any lonely than the way I felt this days. I hated being around Fern and even if I pretend to be cool around Jay, I hated him for doing this to me. I did not deserve this.

I rarely took a shower or applied my make-up. I was ever dressed in oversize trousers and baggy t-shirts because I realized that looks didn’t matter anymore.

I spent most of my time looking at my baby, if he was asleep I used the time to cry myself to sleep also. Sometimes I ended up waking up in the middle of the night due to insomnia and that is when I feel the deepest pain in my soul.  My eyes were ever swollen and my face was pale.

I wished that I was a little baby whose only stress was sleeping and feeding. I can kill Jay anytime or that b***h he had been cheating with but all that cannot help since I would end up in jail leaving my kids in mystery.

I have thought of killing myself more than once but I kept on telling myself that I had a life before Jay and so I would have a life after Jay too.

My phone was always in silent because I never wanted to face social media. Times like this all you want to do is to stay by yourself.

You are the only person who knows how deep it hurts and you are the only person who cannot judge your reaction.

The last time Fern come to check on the baby, she told me to leave Jared but I was not ready.  She kept saying I am a weak b***h who doesn’t love herself and even if it is true, I told myself that I was a strong woman and I would try as hard as possible to handle this for the sake of my kids.

“I am okay, I just need some time,” I blurted avoiding to look at him.

“Can I call Fern, to come stay with you so that she can cheer you up?” He requested.

“No, I am fine,” I said it word by word and faltered to the bathroom. I wanted to pee but then a strong pain from my abdomen made me lose my balance. I tripped and fell on the bathroom floor with a thud.

“Are you alright Bell?” Jared yelled as his footsteps approached the bathroom.

Even with the painful churning in my stomach, I managed to roll my eyes.

“I am…” I wanted to speak but the involuntary reaction just beneath my diaphragm made me choke and throw up on the bathroom floor.

I felt very weak and disgusted by my own vomit because of its pungent smell like that of rotten eggs. What other worst way can you start your morning?

“Come,” Jay walked in despite the smell that was floating in the air.

“I am not presentable Jay, just go away,” I closed my eyes and yelled at him to live.

“I am not leaving without you, you are my wife,” He groaned and supported me to stand up. I walked to the room where he helped me change and laundered my cloths. If that is not enough, he cleaned up my mess.

I wanted to crucify him for all the bad things but helping me out this morning just me think more on not giving up on him. He was changing and he wanted me to be okay. Maybe that lady seduced her. Some bitches can be so desperate.

“Why are you doing all this?” I asked when he bathed me in the warm flowered water.

“Because you are the mother of my kids and I love you,” He scoffed sinking my heart even more. Why was he saying that yet he knew he was lying to me on my face?

How can you make love to someone else yet you claim that you love tour wife. Love is more of loyalty and trust. If this two things don’t align then you are just staying on a toxic relationship.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he deeply conditioned my hair.

“I am just weak,” I blurted.

“Should I take you to the hospital?” He continued being sweet. I chose to live for the moment and worry about is cheating later on.

“Yeah, my stomach hurts a lot,” I complained and he reassured me that I would be okay.

He chose a white chiffon top with a navy skirt for me. He loves picking my outfit for the day and that makes part of a million things I loved about him. I chuckled with the thought of turning the tables this morning.

“White panty and black bra or all white?” I weighed the options audibly.

“All white,” He said checking his phone.

“Why have you worn that grey baggy jeans with an orange t-shirt? For Christ sake Bell,” He complained when I ignored the cloths he had organized for me.

“I feel more at ease in this,” I defended myself.

“You are embarrassing me,” He shouted.

“I am not feeling okay, if you don’t want to accompany me to the hospital, then I will go there on my own,” I bellowed.

“Fine,” He followed me outside the house walking three meters away from me so that people can think we are not together. Prim was at school and Moss was under the care of our new nanny. I had fired the old one.

How dare she say that to me? Which woman talks like that really? She should have sympathized with me not make me feel worse about what had already happened.

The cab had a booming music of Adele’s heartbreak song and I sang to it since it explained my failed relationship. Jay was so relieved when we reached at the hospital because the entire trip gave him a reality check that he was doing wrong by cheating on me.

“I thought you loved Taylor swift,”

“I have changed, we all have,” I boldly told Jared in the lift as we headed to meet our family doctor, Jonas Lewinski.

“I haven’t, have I?”

“I don’t know, maybe you tell me,”

“Bluebell and Jared,” Jonas acknowledged us happily.

“Hello doctor,” I blurted. The three of us exchanged pleasantries as we headed to his office.

“Sit,” He offered us two sits at his consultation room.

“Bluebell, basing on your symptoms, you have to bring me your urine sample.” He requested.

It could not be a Urinary tract infections, I was okay down there.

When is the last time I had my periods?

My breathing patterns increased since all odds pointed to the fact that I might be pregnant.

I really hoped I am not because if I am…