Million Words

Word 02

Biting one corner of the menthol flavoured candy, Neil tore the wrapper letting the candy slid against his tongue. He played it inside his mouth rubbing it to every corner as much as possible, feeling the cool sensation as it touches his flesh. He pushed the candy on his right cheek forming a round bump as he looked for a space where he could park his car. It took some time to find a parking space. Occupied ang lahat ng nadadaanan niyang spaces sa parking area. Hindi na siya nagtaka kung bakit marami ang mga sasakyan ang nandoon. It’s Friday night. And it only means people are having the time of their lives.

Binilisan niya nang kaunti ang takbo ng kanyang sasakyan nang makakita siya ng bakanteng space. Stopping the car’s engine, he glanced at the rear mirror leaning down a bit. He checked his side images before he looked straight fixing some strands of his hair slightly covering his forehead. He opened the car door beside him the moment he felt satisfied of how he looked tonight. Ngunit bago pa man siya tuluyang lumabas, mula rito ay tiningnan niyang muli ang sarili sa side mirror. He smirked and winked at the same time, and gestured his right hand like a handgun shooting his reflection.

Dinukot ni Neil ang wallet niya sa likurang bulsa ng suot niyang pantaloon. Binuksan niya ito’t pinakita sa bouncer na nagbabantay sa entrance ng bar na napagkasunduan nila ng kanyang mga kaklase. Pinapasok agad siya ng bouncer kahit na hindi pa niya naipapakita ang identification card niya na nasa kanyang wallet. Tinanguan lamang siya nito’t pinapasok nang walang pag-aalinlangan.

Neil was welcomed with the loud music played by the band at the slightly elevated platform at one side of the bar. Averting his gaze from one spot to another, he did not waste any time to look for his classmates. He’s already late from their agreed time. He found it quite difficult to spot his classmates because of the flickering of colourful lights, preventing him from seeing the place clearly. His sight stopped when he found his classmates sitting on the same table they usually occupied every time they are there. He walked coolly and with confidence just like whenever he’s in a situation like this – inside a bar, ready to enjoy his night. Marami siyang nakikitang familiar na mga mukha habang naglalakad siya. Hindi niya lang matandaan kung saan niya ito nakita ang mga ito. Marahil ay ilang beses na niyang nakita ang mga ito sa tuwing pumupunta siya ng bar o kung saan man na pwedeng galaan kapag gabi.

“Did I miss something?” masigla bungad niya sa kanyang mga kaklase. Tila nagulat pa ang mga ito sa bigla niyang pagsulpot sa tabi ng table nila. Slamming his body, he sat comfortably on the space left unoccupied like it was intentionally reserved for him.

“Mabuti naman at dumating ka na, Neil. Akala namin hindi ka na sisipot,” natatawang sagot ng isa niyang kaklase.

“Imposible naman na mawawala si Neil sa ganito. Himala na yata kung mangyari iyon,” gatong ng isa pa niyang kaklase na nakaupo sa tapat niya.

Pumulot ng ilang piraso ng junk food si Neil mula sa table at saka niya itong itinapon sa huling nagsalita. “Gago. Hindi naman ako ganoon ka-party goer.”

“Okay sabi mo ‘yan.”

“Oo na lang kami, Neil.” Halos sabay-sabay na pagbara ng mga kaklase niya. Hindi naniniwala ang mga ito sa sinabi niya. They have known Neil ever since their freshmen year. Sa katunayan, si Neil pa nga ang kadalasan na nag-aaya. Siya ang pasimuno ng mga gala nila noon sa labas tuwing katatapos ng mga exam at quizzes nila.

They were nine in the table as of the moment. Hindi pa sila kompleto dahil papunta pa lang din ang iba nilang kasamahan sa lugar maliban na lang sa kanyang matalik na kaibigan. Ito ang perfect attendance sa kanila kapag absences ang pagbabasehan sa ganitong galaan. Nakaupo sila sa isang pabilog na table sa bandang gilid ng bar. May kanya-kanya nang hawak na inumin ang mga ito.

Instead of arguing with his classmates, Neil raised his left hand calling the attention of the nearest waiter. He ordered his typical starter of the night flavoured beer to the waiter as it got near him. Iginala niya muna ang kanyang paningin habang hinihintay ang in-order niya, without minding his classmates. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon ay napako ang kanyang paningin sa isang tao na nasa entablado. Tila natuod si Neil sa kanyang nakikita. Hindi siya makapaniwala na makikita niya ulit ang lalaki at sa ganitong pagkakataon pa. It was the guy he met weeks ago. Kasalukuyan itong masigasig na tumutugtog ng drums. He couldn’t stop himself from drooling to his body, from his legs hugged fitly by his skin-tight jeans to his broad shoulders smashing the drum set and to his charming face he couldn’t forget. Masigla ito sa ginagawang pagtugtog habang nagpe-perform ng kanta. Halos lumuwa ang kanyang mga mata nang bigla itong lumingon sa dako niya. Nagkatinginan sila nito’t sumilay mula rito ang isang malaking ngiti. Napalingon siya pabalik sa kanyang mga kasama nang wala sa oras. He didn’t anticipate that smile.

Did the guy remember him? Neil is not sure about it. Malamang katulad ng mga nauna niyang na-meet ay isinawalang bahala agad ang naging pagtatagpo nila. But for Neil, he couldn’t forget that face, that guy, and that feeling it gave to him. It was the most memorable for him – the satisfaction it did to him.

Neil acted normal like nothing is happening. Pilit niyang itinuon ang pansin sa pakikipag-usap sa mga kasama niya kahit ramdam na ramdam niya na may pares ng mga mata ang nakatingin sa kanya. Hindi siya makalingon dahil baka magtama ulit ang kanilang mga mata. Hindi niya rin alam sa kanyang sarili kung bakit nagkakaganito siya ngayon. He already met numbers of guys before yet it is the first time that he crossed paths with a guy again that he met for carnal needs.

Nakatingin si Neil sa kanyang mga kasama na tila nakikinig sa mga ito. Sumasabay pa siya sa mga tawanan ng mga ito’t sumasagot kapag tinatanong siya. Ngunit, ang totoo ay nakatuon ang pansin nito sa paligid lalong-lalo na sa mga tumutugtog sa entablado.

He took a deep breath in relief when he heard the band stopped playing and someone thanked them for performing tonight. He waited for a few more minutes before he turned his head confirming that the guy already left the stage. Tila gumaan ang pakiramdam niya nang hindi niya ito nakita kahit saan man niya pinalakad ang kanyang paningin. Naging normal ulit ang kanyang pakiramdam. Hindi na rin calculated ang mga galaw niya habang nakikipag-usap sa kanyang mga kaklase sapagkat sumigla siya’t naging bankero ng usapan at inuman.

Lumalim pa ang gabi’t may tama na rin ang kanyang mga kaklase nang magpaalam siya na pupunta lamang siya saglit sa comfort room. His vision was a bit blurry already but he managed to stand and find the way to the rest room. His eyes were closed facing the ceiling as he peed on the urinal. He felt someone stood beside him yet he ignored it. Wala na siya sa tamang huwisyo pa na makialam sa kung ano at sino ang nasa paligid. He immediately went to the sink after he released his water. Itinukod niya ang kanyang mga kamay bilang suporta sa kanyang pagtayo’t pilit na tiningnan ang sarili sa salamin kahit na halos hindi na niya mabuksan ang mga mata. He shook his head, trying to keep himself awake. He cupped some water from the faucet and rinsed it on his face especially his eyes. Maging ang kanyang leeg ay binasa niya rin. Tinatanggal niya ang init at lagkit ng kanyang pawis.

“Hey!” pansin ng lalaking tumabi rin sa kanya sa sink.

Lumingon siya rito’t nakalimutan niyang humawak sa dulo ng sink na ikinawala ng kanyang balanse. Mabuti na lamang at naging maagap ang tumabi sa kanyang lalaki. Sinalo siya nito gamit ang dalawang malulusog na braso nito’t nagdikit ang kanilang mga katawan. It made Neil feel something familiar from his grasp. Even his scent was familiar to him.

Napatingala si Neil upang tingnan kung sino ang sumalo sa kanya. Yet it looked like he made a wrong move. Their faces were just a centimeter apart with their noses almost touching. He could already smell his fresh mint breath that hit his senses with need to explore where it came from. His body urged him to move closer and he obliged, crashing his lips to the guy’s holding him from falling.

For a second, the guy was in a state of shock but he quickly recovered and moved his lips with Neil quietly laughing in his head. Neil continued his pace on the guy’s soft lips. Hindi na niya napigilan ang sarili na palalimin ang pagpapalitan nila ng halik. For Neil, the kiss satisfied him. At the back of his mind, he tried to recall where he felt it before. Yet, nothing came to his mind but the need to fulfil the longing which suddenly escaped from nowhere. But, he knew he already encountered those soft kissable lips fighting for dominance as of the moment.

Hindi na mabuksan ni Neil ang kanyang mga mata. Tinatamaan na siya ng alak na kanyang ininom. Ngunit, ramdam niya pa rin ang nangyayari sa kanyang paligid. Nararamdaman pa nga niya ang pagbuhat ng lalaki sa kanya upang siya’y makatayo. And again, his body betrayed him. His mind and senses were still active and wide awake.

Inangkla niya ang kanyang mga braso sa leeg ng lalaking nasa harapan niya. Pilit niyang binubuksan ang mga mata upang makita kung sino ang hinalikan niya. Pero ayaw nang magmulat ng kanyang mga mata. He could hear the guy saying something to him. Ngunit wala siyang maunawaan. All he knew was that the guy was talking to him yet he couldn’t decipher what it was. He’s too drunk to understand a word. He was carried by the guy taking him somewhere he doesn’t know until he abruptly shut down. He lost his consciousness.

Kinusot ni Neil ang kanyang mga mata kasunod ng pag-inat niya ng mga braso. Lazily, he opened his eyes only to find out that he was in an unfamiliar room. It wasn’t his. And then he felt an arm tugging his lean body. Nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata nang pinihit niya ang paningin sa brasong nakapulupot sa katawan niya. He was in a black-covered bed with a guy he doesn’t know. Hindi niya makita ang mukha nito dahil bahagya itong nakadapa at nakasuksok ang mukha sa unan na malapit sa balikat niya. His eyes went wider when he realized he’s wearing nothing but only the sheets protecting them from cold.

He lifted the arm wrapping around his body trying to make an escape plan. But, he was only being hugged more tightly than ever, making their skins rub. Napapikit siya nang mariin. Kailangan na niyang makaalis mula rito kung ayaw niyang ipahiya ang kanyang sarili. It was the first time he woke up in someone's bed na hindi niya kilala.

Sinubukan niyang muli na makawala sa mga bisig nito’t nagtagumpay siya. Hindi siya nagsayang ng oras na bumangon. Hinanap ang kanyang mga damit lalo na’t ang boxer brief na lamang niya ang kasalukuyang suot niya. Nang naayos na niya ang kanyang sarili ay maingat siyang lumabas ng silid nito. He looked once again at the guy on the bed before closing only to be stunned on his feet. Gising na ito’t tahimik na pinapanuod ang kanyang ginagawa. What’s even more surprising was he saw the stranger’s charming face again. Ang lalaking kinatagpo niya sa abandonadong gusali. Doon niya lang din napagtanto na isa ito sa mga sikat sa paaralan nila.

For some unknown reason, Neil slammed the door. Pagkatapos ay kumaripas siya ng takbo palayo rito’t hinanap ang daan palabas ng bahay. Ang akala niya’y ito na ang magpapagulantang ng kanyang umaga pero nagkakamali siya. The second he stepped outside the house’s gate, he was greeted by the place he didn’t expect to be in. Nasa loob siya ng kanilang subdivision at ilang kanto at pagliko lang ang kanyang gagawin ay nasa kanilang bahay na siya.