Loving His Broken Luna

Chapter 8

“You don’t learn do you?” Renee’s mom snarled.

There’s no way to…

Their expectations change on a whim.

“This could have been over,” her mom continued. “But you can’t listen to reason! Why would you?”

Renee silently took her mother’s rhetorical onslaught. The woman wasn’t after answers. She didn’t want to grapple with Renee over her experience. She only wanted control.

And Renee could only give so much of it.

She held her ground like a soldier. Her mom stalked up to her, the woman’s eye level barely made it to Renee’s. Still, she commanded Renee’s attention.

The woman played with Renee’s fear along with her complacency; a winning combination every time. Tonight would be no different, Renee knew.

Instead of answering, Renee’s attention flicked behind her mother, to Karri who fidgeted with items in her desk. She smirked her knowing smile, the b***h, then turned to her mirror as if a brawl wasn’t working its way into their lives.

“Maybe she’s hiding something else,” Karri taunted.

“I’m not hiding anything,” she lied.

Of course she was. Most of it was their treatment of herself!

“You don’t sound so sure,” Karri continued.

“You make s**t up,” Renee spat.

A white hot smack cracked across her cheek. Renee barely flinched. Being attacked was normal. She could handle this…

Do not cry, Renee warned herself.

“Don’t swear at your sister!” their mother hissed, in control of herself specifically.

Renee bit her tongue. Replying…

“Yes Mom,” her mother corrected.

Renee didn’t bother lifting her head to acknowledge the woman. A real mom wouldn’t do this, she told herself. Her teeth still held her tongue, rougher now, just to hold on.

“Yes Mom,” her mother repeated herself, only to be ignored once more. “I see.”

Karri moved once more, chuckling as she went.

“Even I know to ‘yes’ Mom,” she tisked, as she slipped through the slatted door.

“We’ll correct it,” her mother muttered.

Renee forced herself back into her safe space. A mental place; her bubble, where pain of any kind could no longer reach her.

There she watched her mother break a sweat, unmaking her bed and tossing her belongings out the window. The woman ran her mouth for an edge, promising more of this until Renee finally let out a deflated, “Yes, Mom.”

“Now?” her mother questioned, dumbfounded.

Next to nothing, except for her mattress, desk and dresser filled the side of her room.

“You decided to say that now?” she hissed. “You couldn’t start with it?”

Renee hung her head, her eyes searched the floor for answers.

“Go pick up the life you threw away,” her mother warned. “Be ready to talk after you fix this.”

Renee blinked her submission, leaving with yet another, “Yes, Mom.”

Only, it felt like she was tethered to the room. Trying to get away, down the stairs and through their living spaces to the back of the house became harder with every step.

Up there, in her room, was her actual life as it stood. Her material items discarded like the trash she knew her parents longed to do with her. Instead they took what was left home, shared with them as references to her worth and ruined them.

Renee’s heart raced, worrying about who she’d come across next. Every step through the living room felt like there was someone watching her move.

… but no one came.

She slipped through to the kitchen with ease. No one startled her there either.

Strange.

Karri usually picked through snacks during their episodes, but not even she was present. Bruce was nowhere to be found either and at least he was tall enough to miss out on the opportunity regardless. At the very least, he could have jumped out at her from around a corner but not even that happened.

No, it seemed like the roaches had scattered for long enough to deal with her mother one on one.

Renee’s clear mind faltered as waves of pity began to slosh around her. Questions like why me trickled in, but she knew. Deep down she knew.

Renee opened the door separating the kitchen from her father’s back office, then turned to find the door out into their sun porch. It was a glass, heartless space that showed off her mother’s love of crystal glasses more than anything.

Leaving that glorified space, Renee remembered herself. Unless she was one of them, she wasn’t. Her brother and sister belonged there. Renee, however, did not. It wasn’t a birthright, although it felt like one the day her brother came. Boys were special, and she wasn’t… which begged the question of why Karri was tolerated.

It’s an age-old question. One she’s been asking herself since she was five. There were never answers past what her father told her all those years ago. It still hurts. It’ll always, too. But at least it was the truth.

The cold of the day lingered into the night, making traversing their deck harder than it should have been. The slush turned thick ice would work to her advantage when she’d have to lie next, Renee thought.

Picking through her items in the muddy ice felt surreal. It shouldn’t have, but she spent all of her time outside the house. How could they pick up like this? Like there was never a gap?

Their hatred must go pretty deep, Renee sighed as she collected her life as her mother put it.

There was nothing there that truly needed to be returned to it except for bedding materials, her gym bag and clothes. Everything else could go.

Renee made her way back to the house, stopping to throw out the rest in the trash bins that lined the side of the house. Every release, however small the item was, stung all that much more to complete.

Returning to her mother didn’t fare any better.

“There better not be anything in the laundry tonight,” her devious entry turned the corner. Her body was still shrouded in darkness, heightening Renee’s nerves all that much more.

“Yes Mom,” Renee replied, lowering her eyes.

“Oh? It comes easier now, does it?” the woman snarked.

Silence laid in thickly between them. Renee’s eyes still trained on the floor.

“Do you have anything else you want to say to me?” she pressed.

No.

Renee just wanted it to be over. She wanted to starve in bed. She wanted to try to sleep away her stress and forget it ever happened.

“Not… Sorry Mom?”

For what? For being baited into another battle after the one her father laid upon her? An apology could not be applied…

“Sorry Mom,” Renee parroted, her mother nodded once, annoyed that she had to promote that herself.

“Was that so hard?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Then why didn’t you before?”

… because my answers mean jack s**t.

… because this is not how your game is played.

… because you have it out for me.

Renee’s list only grew, but so did the time between answers which meant another punishment was coming.

“Because I didn’t know Karri wanted an apology,” Renee answered carefully.

“How? She was instructed to tell you that you’re choosing to embarrass our family with your decisions.”

“That’s not what she said,” Renee replied.

“Why would she deviate from the truth? Unless she’s learning from your bad influence.” her mother bit out.

“Maybe to stay on your good side? They see what you do to me…”

That was too much…

“What we do to you?” she parroted. “What we do you you? Have you forgotten what you did to get here?”

“Actually yeah,” Renee bit out, wishing she could stop. “Because I hide this life from the public, what you guys do to me. It’s not—“

Her mother’s backhand struck again.

“And what do you think this is? Abuse?!”

That’s exactly what it is.

Renee shook her head to avoid escalating this.

“…normal,” Renee refrained from wiping her cheek, letting the blood that gathered there trickle.

Her mother had to see and accept that she was wrong.

Maybe she would. Maybe the rage could subside. Her control could waiver… even Jason’s could. Why not Mom’s?

Only calling her actions for what they were left Renee wide open.

“Since I’m not abusive now,” her mother ground out, “It’s time to settle what happened today.”

“What do you think happened?” Renee sighed trying to keep herself calm.

Hyperventilating would not help.

“It won’t help you to be on the offensive,” her mother warned.

“What will help?”

Her mother frowned at that as she stepped back to take a seat in her favorite chair. Renee, however, stood still. Sitting was a trap.

“The truth.”

Renee almost smiled, the closest thing she could do to laughing without being completely destroyed, but no. This had to end immediately, if not sooner.

The truth meant figuring out the story in her mother’s head and becoming that version of herself.

“Maybe you can tell me what you know? And I can give the rest.”

“You know what I know, hence your punishment.”

Ah, so she was still stuck on being a drug addict, whoring around and the school fight with Bruce. That’s her truth.

“Your sources are wrong,” Renee began, to which her mother laughed. “I’m serious. If you have questions about my salad bar, patent pending, you can ask my Advanced Chem teacher…”

“Patent pending,” she chuckled. “You realize you’re in high school?”

“I’m sixteen and have Mr. Andresen’s approval.”

“Is he your guardian?”

He may as well be, Renee huffed to herself.

“No,” she replied anyway.

“Then he has no claim to you or it.”

“You can’t change it, Mom, it’s been ongoing since last year. It’s in the clinical trials now.”

“I can stop whatever I want.”

“And draw attention to yourself.”

If looks could kill, her mother would have mercilessly beheaded her on the spot. That was a weakness.

“You’d also be seen as uneducated but the inability to support your child will definitely call the most attention to yourself.”

Before her mother could retaliate, Renee added, “They want this because it would bring publicity to the school and ultimately fix starvation.”

“Why would your brother say it’s drugs then?” her mom questioned, recognizing the chance at wealth.

“Because he needs attention.”

“Because you squander so much of my time.”

“I didn’t ask for this. I was just going to go to sleep, figuring I couldn’t eat with you.”

“And why not?” the woman’s tone changed.

“Because you hate me.”

“You embarrassed us.”

“Your son started it.

“Bruce?” she asked as if there was another.

“They love to get me in trouble.”

“And you don’t.”

“No?”

“That’s hard to believe,” her mother scoffed.

“I like the quiet and to be left alone.”

“I hardly believe that considering the sports you do.”

“Just trying to stay out of everyone else’s way…” Renee replied honestly.

“It has nothing to do with showing off for a boy?”

Jason…

“No, Mom.”

“Not at all?”

“No. I don’t need attention. Just my school work and my schedule.”

“It doesn’t sound like it,” her mother replied coolly.

“Why?”

“The boy at school claimed he assists you daily.”

Gods give her fvcking strength!

“We’re dating or even friends.”

“He seems to think so.”

She’s going to kill him.

“Others think so too…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Renee settled there.

“You don’t?” Her mother’s tone heightened. “I have his number. Let’s get him over here…”

Oh my gods no!

“… so that he can shed some light on this issue.”