Loving His Broken Luna

Chapter 18

Leaving the pool without his girl or even seeing her from afar was debilitating. What was worse was trying to forget the scenarios that filled his head the night before.

None of them were happening.

Kris was more alone than he ever felt through his entire existence.

He didn’t bother showering. He just put himself on autopilot to turn the corner and get on with his meaningless life.

“I can’t believe the amount of snow we got already,” he barely registered the teens behind him.

“Have you gotten the alert yet?” another one asked. “No school would kick as.s!”

“Not that I want to be there but I thought this was senior prank day. It would be crappy to miss out.”

“Wait! Do you think this storm was the senior prank?”

The laughter only rose as they made their way around Kris to get to their lockers too.

“I wouldn’t put it past our class…”

“I don’t think it was. Unless they covered all the bases with news reports… you know, money we don’t have.”

Smart…

“If we’re off, who’s in for filling Mr. Andren’s class to the brim with snow?”

“You got some weird thing with the science teacher or something?”

“Nah. I just wanna see Colla shard up again.”

“Why?”

“You’re a freak you know that, Gavyn?”

“Call me what you want. I’m getting that memory back.”

Kris couldn’t make heads or tails about how their plan could work or in the very least, why it was important. They were kids. One memory could not be that important.

Or could it?

Immediately, Kris let the shape of her memory tackle him. If he could hold onto that shard, maybe he could find her.

Kris frowned while searching for his phone. It was a shot in the dark for sure, but even hope grows in the shadows…

====

Renee

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The warmth she initially felt from Russel’s in the presence of Jason’s lie quickly began to fade. It became just another place she didn’t belong, or never could.

It was fine though. No one could know what she dealt with… and if she stayed cold to them, they never would.

… Don’t lose this too.

… Speak up!

… Deny it!

Her conscience screamed for her to stand her ground but Jason won. His control wriggled around inside her heart, pulled everything so slightly by the corner of his lips.

While she couldn’t bring herself to make a sound more, her silent submissive state screamed, “HELP!”

“Oh,” Barbra covered her mouth with both of her hands, one on top of the other.

Jason couldn’t help but smirk, to which she promptly jabbed him.

“Just because you don’t have to eat doesn’t mean you can throw around that word,” Barbra scolded him.

“I-it’s okay,” Renee cut in.

… Give her something that isn’t this.

… Don’t validate him.

“Not getting to eat is not okay, Renee,” Jason replied, sounding oh-so-sincere.

Instead of challenging him on his addition, Renee dropped it.

“What’s wrong with you?” Barbra smacked Jason’s shoulder.

The two eyed Renee from their positions across from her. It seemed like they were waiting for more but Renee couldn’t find it in her wheelhouse to come up with yet another lie. Barbra at least seemed like she wanted to help. Or, at the very least, get Jason off of her back.

… An ally in all of this?

… It’s too soon to tell.

… It’s not like she’s been able to fully trust anyone before. Why her?

“Well, however you want to enjoy your meal, I hope you do,” Barbra finally spoke. “Jason? A word?”

Renee did her best to smile. It was weak, Renee knew, but what else was she going to do? Russel’s provided a place of comfort without trying. It didn’t feel fake or as if she was surrounded by people looking to use her… well, except for Jason.

He wanted all too much.

Begrudgingly, Jason pushed himself away from the table.

“Don’t leave,” he warned.

“That’s really how you talk to her?” Barbra whispered as they moved towards the kitchen.

It was as if Barbra was giving her a lead; a way out. It was a nice thought, but the pancakes in front of her settled her need to.

If she was being honest with herself, it had been roughly three weeks since she’d had a good, hearty meal. Her salad bar and bread had no real way to compare to the way real food smelled and tasted.

Tentatively, she took another bite, reveling in the pure joy she’d been given. Barbra could never know what a plate of pancakes could do for someone like her.

… Neither could Jason.

… He’ll get her in the most trouble.

… That simple truth would snowball.

… He’d be a hero. And she’d be ruined.

Renee’s thoughts quickly shifted to her morning. Of course she blocked her traumas, putting blocks on load bearing insights. No, she couldn’t sit down and try to digest this here. It had to be done in private, right before she’d give up for sleep.

It didn’t stop the nagging she’d surely face from her parents when she returned home. Boy, what another blowout that would be. Speaking of parental tantrums, what were they going to say about her options this year? Truthfully, Renee wanted to opt to stay back. Part of that went along with Bruce and his need to be first even though he’s the second born.

At least then he’d be able to graduate first. She could live out their disappointment for a couple more years, be sort of safe in school…

Her mind wandered after that. Would Jason have to stay with her then? If he got her through one year, wouldn’t he be able to move on? Or would that mean he’d stay years after? She couldn’t do that to him. Even if he was only there for his transition.

Tears pricked her eyes as she cut another fork full.

Graduating this year, at sixteen, as planned, meant at least two years between being homebound and going to college. There was no way they’d let her go even if she got a scholarship. Her thoughts began to spiral out from there, worried that they’d take all they could from her.

Those successes would be theirs. The money would be transferred to them since they’re her legal guardians. They’d come up with any way possible to fvck her over and make it look like she failed. She’d seen it all before.

What’s more concerning? Her school year is almost over. There’s no way out, but she keeps telling herself there is.

… It’s okay.

The tear that blurred her vision finally dropped, sparkling as it fell.

… Nothing’s fine.

… It’s all overwhelming…

In an instant Jason was beside her, as if he tried to catch it before it fell. What an odd thing to care about.

“We’ll have to catch up later, Barb,” Jason called over his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

His sincerity felt like a snake bite.

“I’m great,” she wheezed out her lie.

… She shouldn’t have done that; went phishing for her options.

… Why couldn’t she just keep them quiet?

“People don’t cry for no reason, Renee,” Jason challenged.

He was right, but all she could lean on was the fact that he didn’t shorten her name. It was a tiny island of hope in the sea she was drowning in.

… If he can learn to respect her … What else can he do?

“You didn’t choke, right?” he continued.

“No.”

It would have been an easy lie. Meaningless; certainly something he would have seen right through.

“Just thinking…” she whispered. “That’s all.”

“Thinking makes me cry sometimes too,” he surprised her.

“What?” Renee blinked back yet another that was ready to fall.

“I am more alive than you’d think…”

Renee nodded to that despite what he could have meant. Vampires were in that perpetual state of being mostly dead, ice cold blood bags. The fact that they retained as much as they did in their advanced age was still something of a mystery. Kind of like those wonders of the world.

“Okay,” she replied.

“What thoughts got you?”

Renee shook her head.

… Can’t.

“It wasn’t the pancakes, right?” he asked, lifting his brow with accusation.

“It wasn’t…” she stopped herself.

… Keep going.

… Say something nice.

“It was a nice gesture. You didn’t have to.”

“So… you’re thinking about me? I made you cry?” his questions tumbled in, one against the next.

Renee nodded.

His eyes cast down to his index finger.

“Should we see if that’s true?”