Saving Justice

Chapter Eleven

My body still feels sore even after soaking my body with lukewarm water in the bathtub for half an hour. The house hunting Cole and I did earlier was no joke. We visited five apartments today. We were outside for the whole day! We already called dibs on one of the apartments in Chicago, but we still have two residences left to visit, so we can't really make a final decision yet.

Cole chuckles when he sees me struggling. "You look pretty comfortable there, huh?" He raises his eyebrows, taunting me.

Rolling my eyes, I groan. "How come you're not as tired as me?"

"I work out, babe," he says and winks at me. "You should consider coming with me to the gym now. I only spend two to three hours there. I'm sure you can do it, too."

"I don't like lifting weights."

I once came to watch him work out before. He did various things, but he focused on lifting weights, which bored me.

"You don't have to lift weights if you don't want to," he tells me. "I just want to tone my arm muscles that time; that's why I lifted weights for a long period. You can just run on the treadmill and do some sit-ups. We will just try to improve your stamina."

Pursing my lips, I try to persuade myself to consider his suggestion.

Doing something physically tiring is not my thing. I get quickly exhausted when doing strenuous activities. When we worked out at the public gym back at the Lummus Park Beach in Miami, I felt fainting because of the heatwave and fatigue. Meanwhile, Aubrey and Saddie are both used to working out. They go to gyms during their free time, while I just don't see the need to work out. I watch my diet, and my body is fit, so I believe that I don't have to do it.

Cole sits on his side of the bed and randomly massages my right leg. Feeling the relief it brings me, I close my eyes.

He's really good at this.

"By the way, Ven, how about we visit the last apartment and townhouse tomorrow?" he asks me while his hands move to my left leg. "That way, we can save time and finally make a decision."

Still, with my eyes closed, I answer him, "I can't do it tomorrow."

He stops briefly. "Why not?"

"I have a session with Justice every Sunday, remember?"

"I know, but it won't take a whole day, right?"

"Yes, the session won't last that long, but I promised her last week to go with her to the mall after her therapy. We're going to watch a movie that she has waited so long for," I explain to Cole why I can't commit tomorrow. "We can do it next Saturday, though. I don't have any appointments with my patients."

Cole eventually stops massaging my legs. "You just went to the mall with her last week, and then you two are going again tomorrow?"

Hearing the unusual tone of his voice, I open my eyes to look at him. On his face is an expression I rarely see, and it's not the expression I want to see.

"What's wrong with that?" I don't know why I feel so wronged.

He heavily sighs and moves away from me a bit while massaging the bridge of his nose. Though I can still feel the soreness of my body, I push myself to sit up to talk to him properly.

"Natalie told me that she thinks you and Justice are getting too close to each other ever since you came back from your Miami trip," he says. "She just told me that last night, and I think she's right."

Not being able to understand his point, I shake my head in frustration. "And what's wrong with that?" I repeat my question earlier. "Don't tell me you're jealous with Justice because I always spend time with her―"

"This is not about jealousy, Venice." His voice slightly increases its volume, expressing his aggravation, even though I can tell from his face that he's trying his best to control his emotions in front of me. "Justice is starting to be too dependent on you, and that's making her possessive of you. Can't you see that?"

As soon as Cole says those words, especially spits the word 'possessive,' my mind does a quick flashback of our session after I just got back from Miami. I did not give it any malice, but her mood swings gave me whiplash. Now that I think about how she's upset and jealous because of my friends and the way she hugs me, it sends chills down my spine.

I haven't told Cole about that yet.

"I may not be an expert like you — I had to put a disclaimer there — but I think that this won't do her any good, Ven," he voices out his opinion. "I know she's still emotionally vulnerable, but if her dependence on you gets worse, how is she going to stand on her own? You can't be there for her all the time, and that's the truth."

Realizing how blind I've been to this aspect, I acknowledge my mistake and ignorance.

I believe that it is okay for people to depend on others. However, when it comes to Justice, I should teach her how to be independent first.

Cole's right.

It won't do her any better. She needs to grow and trust herself before anything else.

Cole reaches out for my hand. His warmth brings me comfort. I raise my head to meet his gaze, and his gentle eyes lock into mine. "You know I trust you," he tells me. "But I really think we need a new therapist for Justice."

I nod my head, agreeing to his idea. I already know what I should do. I'll ask either Aubrey or Saddie to take over her therapy. If I'm going to pass her on to someone else, I'd rather choose among those I trust the most.

•••

When I enter Justice's room for my last session with her as her therapist, she welcomes me with a big smile on her face, seemingly excited about something. My eyes drift on her body, and I see that she's wearing the dress I bought her.

I suddenly feel guilty.

Justice is wearing a pretty dress because we are planning to watch a movie together, but I have to cancel our plans. I told Cole last night that we will push through visiting the previous two residences on our list because I need to start distancing myself away from Justice, little by little.

"You look so happy today," I point out while I take the seat in front of her.

With her sweet smile still attached to her face, she says, "I'm excited to watch the movie with you. I can't wait any longer!"

The smile on my face dims.

Biting my lip, I apologetically look at her. "Uhm... Regarding that, I'm sorry. I can't go with you to the theatres tonight," I tell her, and her lips slowly form into a thin line. "I don't really want to cancel my plans with you, but your cousin and I have to do a house visit today. We're running out of time."

"But... But you promised me..." She sucks in her lower lip, feeling dejected. "I want to watch that movie."

"Uh, you can watch it with Natalie." Trying to brighten the mood, I fervently suggest that to her. "I'm sure she would love to go and hang out with you. I can talk to her if you want."

"I want to watch it with you..." she says. "Can't you tell Cole to move your plans next week?"

If I was giving her the benefit of the doubt last night, now I'm pretty sure about it.

"I'm sorry, Justice. We already scheduled an appointment with the landlords," I reason out. "I'm really sorry. I will make it up to you, I promise."

Justice purses her lips and lowers her head.

After that, I did not see her smile again. She just looked at me with a grimace on her face throughout our session. She was also unresponsive. Instead of giving me answers using words, she would either nod or shake her head. Seeing how I could affect her so much bothers me a lot.

How come I let this happen? I should've known...

•••

"So, you want me to take over her therapy?" Aubrey stares inquisitively at me.

"Yes..." I answer half-heartedly.

After my session with my first patient for today, I took the chance to visit Aubrey in her office. Luckily, she doesn't have a patient because I have to endorse Justice to her. I already told Eleanor about this, too.

Honestly, I don't really want to drop being Justice's therapist because I promised her that I'd be with her every step of the way. I'm not the type of person to break her promises, but this is the right thing to do.

She tilts her head on one side. "Why?"

I sigh and lean back on the chair's backrest. "Cole told me that Justice is being too dependent on me now. I realized that, too, that's why I came up with this decision," I tell her the reason. "I know it's my mistake. I also got attached to her because I treated her like my sister. I'm completely unaware that she's becoming emotionally dependent on me."

"Venice, you know emotional dependence is not a good thing," she starts to scold me. "I mean, you know that so well. You're the smartest among us three. I admit that. She has PTSD and depression, for Pete's sake!"

"I know..." For a fleeting moment, I bury my face in my hands, feeling embarrassed because of my negligence as her therapist. "I know I'm at fault. That's why I want to correct that mistake now."

When a person is emotionally dependent on you, it's not even an exaggeration if I say that you can control that person's life the way you want it to be. You have their life in your hands because they depend on you to survive. You are the reason why they keep on living.

"Have you told her about this already?" Aubrey asks a very important question.

Shaking my head, I let out another exasperated sigh. "I haven't told her yet," I reply. "If you'll actually agree to this, I want to invite you to meet Justice at the Griffins later tonight. I will introduce you both to each other and break it to her that you're going to be her new therapist."

Aubrey crosses her arms, looking so problematic because of the situation that we're in right now. "I'm sure as hell that this is not going to be easy, Ven."

I know... But what can I do?

"But you know, I think you should also move out of the house," she suddenly suggests, even when she didn't have to anymore.

Cole and I have already talked about that last night.

Since we have already decided which apartment to lease, we will pay the deposit and advance next week. We will start to fill the flat with the most necessary furniture items before moving there. We have the funds ready. My old furniture is still in good condition. It will be an easy task for us, I guess.

"I'm already moving out within three weeks."

"Three weeks?" She looks unsatisfied.

I nod. "Our new apartment will be ready by then."

"What about moving back to your apartment?"

"My contract with my former landlord has already been terminated since last month."

My furniture is currently sitting in the Griffin's basement as we speak. It's also the reason why Cole wants to end the hunt for our own haven.

"Okay, okay..." Aubrey lets out an exhale. "You can stay with me for a while."

My eyes widen. "What?" I have no idea why she's offering me to stay with her. "Why?"

"I want you out of the Griffin's before I start my first session of therapy with Cole's cousin. You can move out tomorrow." She looks at me like she won't allow me to refute. "That is my condition before I accept this job."

"Aubrey, I can just wait for our apartment to be ready. I don't want to bother you―"

"Just trust me, Venice," she says, her eyes speaking to me with an implied meaning that I can't put my finger on. "This is the best thing for the both of you."