Teaching love

10: All those feelings

*Will*

As soon as people starts clearing out Alex grabs my arm, pulling me after him down to his office and slamming the door behind us. "What the f**k Will ?"

"I.. I just showed them how it is done, I mean the boy is a total clutch, I don't know if he will ever be able to pull it off, and..". I stutter and feel myself blush slightly.

Alex cuts me of, his voice sharp. "Stop it Will, you know very well what I am talking about. What was it with the adoring eye gazing ? And don't play dumb with me, I am not talking about her clearly having a major crush on you, we have all been there".

"I don't know..". What I don't know is what to say. Actually Alex had probably saved me from doing something really stupid. I had felt unable to resist the lure of her soft lips.

Alex is rolling his eyes at me. "I am not dumb or blind Will. You were so going to kiss her. What the hell has gotten into you ?" He is glaring at me, but don't get me time to answer. "Not even mentioning the age difference, that is trifling compared to the rest. She is a student Will, your student, not to mention the fact that you have a girlfriend. What would possess you to..". He clamps a hand over his mouth. "Oh s**t, you are in love with her.. you f*****g i***t, why would..".

"For God sake Alex shut up for one damn second". I yell at him to get a word in. He has a tendency to ramble at times.

He looks a bit shocked, then he smiles. "Sorry, I tend to ramble when I get nervous. And right now I am nervous for you. This could end you in jail Will".

"I am not stupid Alex. I know it is wrong and illegal". I say closing my eyes shortly. "I can't control my feelings, but I can control what I do about it, and I am going to do nothing about it. If I ignore it it is going to go away".

Alex is looking at me, like he can look right through me. "I am not so sure about that Will. Please be careful okay ? You know I would never turn you in, but others would".

"I have Sandra.. I love Sandra. This is just a stupid infatuation". I look at him pleadingly, wanting him to tell me that I am right and that it will go away.

But he just says. "For your sake I hope it is".

*Tim*

I find myself sitting on the floor building a lego castle with René as Amelie is cooking dinner. This feels so perfect, so right. This is what I long for. A family. Just a calm normal life. Feeling content with one another.

"See Tim, the dragon knock down tower". René says squealing with delight as he rams a stuffed dragon into the tower, knocking it over.

I smile at him, he is such a sweet boy and for a moment I take myself in wishing he was mine. I know his real father has next to no contact with him. "Yeah that is a bad bad dragon".

"Are you two ready for dinner". Amelie pokes her head in calling. And I look up at her smiling. Honestly she is amazing and I know I am falling helplessly in love with her, despite telling myself I wasn't ready for a new relationship.

I get up from the floor. "Come on René, we can't keep your mommy waiting. We can play a little more after dinner".

He jumps up and run past Amelie into the kitchen, as I walk over she leans into me, leaving a soft kiss on my lips. "Thank you for being so great with him".

"He is such a great kid, so it is all my pleasure darling". I say, taking her hand in mine, leading her back into the kitchen.

*Amelie*

I watch Tim as we eat. It is weird, it is like after that first kiss we just turned into a family. No need to talk about it, find out what or where we are. It just feels natural.

He smiles at me from across the table, and I can't believe my luck to find a man this wonderful and who is great with René too. I wonder if he is going to spend the night, if he wants to I am not going to object.

When we are done eating Tim helps me with the dishes and then he plays with René as I grade some papers for the next day. I love watching them play and interact like this. Even when we were together René's father never played with him like this.

"Come baby, say goodnight to Tim". I call for René. "It is time to get your teeth brushed and get to bed now". He looks disappointed but hugs Tim. "Night Tim".

Tim kisses his cheek. "Night little man".

As I tuck René in and sing to him, Tim is waiting for me downstairs. When I kiss my son goodnight he look up at me. "Mom, can Tim be my daddy instead of the old daddy ?"

"We have to wait and see sweetie". I tell him, tears burning in my eyes, giving him an extra kiss, folding the blanket around him.

I walk downstairs and directly into Tim's arms, like he could feel I needed a hug. He is just holding me close and I rest my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I guess I better get home". He says softly, running a hand through my hair. It sends shivers through my body.

I look up at him, blushing slightly. "I don't want to be alone tonight Tim. Could you maybe sleep her ? I mean just cuddle up and sleep".

"How could I say no to that ? Even if I wanted to". He says softly, lowering his lips to mine. I close my eyes sighing as we melt together. I can't imagine any place more perfect to spend my night than wrapped in his arms.

*Harmony*

I walk outside in my little backyard, sitting down on the bench in my herb garden. I look up at the moon, needing to clear my mind. I am honestly overwhelmed. I don't know what it is that is happening to me. What it is Alex does to me, but I have never felt like this before.

It is like I need him to breathe, need him to live. But I can't very well tell him that after less than a week. So I do as I have always done, uses my body and sexuality to keep him interested, to keep him under my spell.

Honestly men has always been replaceable to me. Fun while it lasted but I have always been fine with them moving on. If they wanted to move on. A couple of them had been really hard getting rid of. This is the first man I am afraid will leave me.. I don't want him to leave, I need him to stay.

I have never met anyone like him, not only is he absolutely handsome and well.. the most amazing lover I ever had. But he is the kindest, most passionate man, he truly has a heart of gold and he is constantly surprising me with his intelligence and wit. I hadn't thought I would ever meet someone like him.

How on earth am I going to make a man like him stay ? What do I have to offer ? How will he react to all my little secrets and my weirdness when he really gets to know me ?

Maybe I should try and do a binding. Bind him to me, but I need to make sure that there is something to bind. A binding spell will only work of there are actual feelings there. Something to bind the person to you with.

I can't wait to see him again tomorrow, to be honest I miss him already. I can't wait to be back in his arms. I am wondering when I should tell my son and what he is going to say to me dating his teacher again.