Mob Mistress

Chapter Five

Lily

“Lils.”

Stefano’s voice punctuated my dream , he sounded sleepy but at the same time strangely alert and as it always did , the deep tone brought me back to myself.

Blinking back tears I opened my eyes fully, the room was bathed in darkness and a for a moment confusion caused panic to thunder in my chest.

Why was I in the dark , held against a naked chest. Heart beating erratically I clawed at him.

“Lils its just me , just a dream beautiful.” His giant hand trapped my face against his beating heart like he had done a hundred times before .

I sighed, my cheeks damp and let the steady heat of his heart calm me.

“Just a dream.” He murmured again.

How many times had he woken me from my nightmares, like this? With his voice soft and my face pressed over his heart?

“Stefano.” Tears welled up as they always did after my subconscious made me relive the horror that was my rape at the hands of my fiancé.

Why couldn’t I just move on?

Maybe if I could just sleep a few hours without the nightmares I could but my brain played it on a continuous loop. And the only place I found I comfort was in his arms.

Why was that?

“I know Lils. I know and it’s ok.” His thumb brushed the tears away. How could this man be what people said he was?

How could he have such darkness inside him and yet he so gentle with me.

His lips brushed my forehead in the dark and my face moved up to meet his, meaning his lips landed awkwardly on the corner of my nose .and just like that the mood in the darkened room changed.

Becoming charged and thick, like a thunder storm was about to erupt around us.

My hand landed on his bare chest and I trailed my fingers downwards only stopping when he caught my wrist.

“What are you doing Lils?” He pressed his lips to the pulse in my wrist. And I was sure he could feel it thundering against his skin.

“I just want to see… I want to see if I can…” and there it was. I needed to try and I couldn’t imagine being intimate with anyone but him. Even if he was married. Even if it meant I was a bad band person.

“Lils. Don’t say s**t like that to me.” His voice was a groan in the darkness. “You can’t keep going hot and cold like this. It’s driving me insane.”

“Just try Stefano, I trust you to stop if I need you too.”

His hissed out a breath and his hands trapped my face , bringing our eyes level. “I would never go further then you wanted me to Lily, but you have to be sure.” His lips brushed the corner of my mouth. “If we do this I don’t want you regret it.”

“I just want to make out a little Stefano, believe it or not I have made out with a few

Men before.” I knew adding that was like adding gasoline to an already out of control. Fire but I couldn’t help myself.

I just wanted to be the old Lily for a little while.

I needed to know whether my body still worked the way it should or if I was broken beyond all repair.

He swore in Italian, “Yeah I don’t need to know that Lils. The only man you should be thinking of right now is me.” His eyes glinted, “are you sure?”

“If you don’t want to do it Stefano…” I

Made a move to get out of bed, “I’m sure I can find someone who wants to.”

“The f**k you can.” His hands pulled me back and there was a strength to them as he pushed me back against the pillows, his lips crushing down on mine in a kiss that was almost painful.

I squeaked and he withdrew instantly, his weight hovering over my body on his elbows. “s**t Lils, did I? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

It wasn’t pain that had made me squeak, it wasn’t even fear although that was there bubbling under the surface. It was the fact I could feel the length of his pressed against my belly.

“You didn’t Stefano, I… can we just kiss some? Is that ok? I don’t want to give you blue balls or anything.”

His chuckle made something between my legs clench. “Baby girls I’ve had blue balls from the moment I first met you but if it means I get to kiss you , without you freaking out then I’ll gladly have blue balls forever.”

His lips parted mine and his tongue swept into my mouth. I knew he was holding back, being gentle for my sake but it was like something was missing.

The dangerous spark that made him , well him.

And maybe he knew best what I needed but it just didn’t feel right.

“Stefano?” I gripped at his hand as it drifted from my hip, His fingers gentle as the explored just under my breast.

“Is this ok?” His voice was thick as he nipped at my jawline. “We can stop Lils. You just have to say.”

“I don’t want to stop.” And I didn’t but I couldn’t help the panic that had started to make my heart beat a little to fast. “Please don’t stop.”

He made a sound in the back of his throat as his whole hand moved cover my left breast. Palm grazing the n****e. It was almost as if he had sent up a mumbled prayer. “I have waited so long to touch you.” He squeezed harder and even with my eyes screwed s**t I knew he was staring at me.

The tip of his tongue , hot and wet drifted under the tiny triangle and I jumped.

What the hell was wrong with me? It felt good but I felt on the edge of a panic attack

Tears sprung into my eyes and I screwed them shut.

Then his lips were there, kissing every tear away and his hands were no longer on my breasts. He was no longer pressing against me.

“It’s ok Lils.”

“I’m sorry.” I was a total moron. I had asked him for a hot and heavy make out session and not even ten minutes in I was sobbing. “I am sorry, I am so broken.”

“Lils you aren’t broken, you are perfect.” Pulling my body against his , he wrapped his arm around me. “You will be ok, we will be ok and get through it together.”

And I wanted to believe him but how could I? He needed someone who didn’t flinch and cry at his touch. Someone he could make love to if he wanted to or someone he could f**k hard and fast if he fancied that.

I couldn’t even let him touch my body without freaking.

It didn’t matter how we felt , I had to let him go back to his wife.