Skylar

IV. Not Fair

Skylar's POV:

"I got to go," I mumbled to Eli.

He held me back. "I'll see you Monday?" He whispers.

Reluctantly, I nod and he released my hand.

I smile at him, hanging my head down low as I walk towards Sebastian who opens the door for me to get in. He slams the door shut, causing me to flinch as I squeeze the red crab in my hands. My eyes lurk up to see Eli standing there staring at me, but I know he couldn't see anything since the car is tinted.

Sebastian flung the other side open and jumped inside. "Drive," he commands.

The driver peeks in the rearview mirror but quickly puts his eyes back on the road as he rolls the window to separate him from us.

"Skylar, look at me," he hisses, and I turn towards him, seeing a vein that's about to burst any second. "Why did you go out even when I said no?"

"Sebby you're being unfair," I mumble.

He releases a chuckle. "Unfair? How? Amuse me"

"I just wanted to date. It's not like I'm doing drugs."

"Sky, I let you stay here in Japan so you can be with your friends. I put a roof over your head and food on the table. All I'm asking is that you listen to a few rules, but why do you never listen!" He shouts.

"I just want to date! What's so bad about that?" I unexpectedly shriek.

"You're too young!" He screams back.

"Why?! Why do you care so much!" I yell louder than I ever did.

"Because I told Grace I'd take care of you!"

And with that, I stop screaming. Of course, Grandma Grace, it's always been about her. Sebastian never cared about me; he only lets me stay here for her.

The car stopped, and I stepped out, feeling his hand on my wrist. "Sky I-" he breathed out.

"I'm sorry," I cut him off. "I'll listen better from now on," I mumble, removing my wrist from his hand, rushing towards the house.

Running up to my room, I can hear Sebastian calling for me, but I ignore it. I close the door, not even slamming it shut whenever I get mad, sliding my body down to the floor. "Grace. Grace. Grace. Everything is always for Grace, not you Skylar. Stupid Skylar! Stupid for even thinking he may care about you! Sebastian doesn't care about you; he only cares because you're Grace's granddaughter."

I wrap my arms around my legs, planting my head on my knees. I heard a knocking on my door, but I ignored it. "Sky, please open up," Sebastian continued pleading with me to open the door for roughly half an hour then gave up. I just sat there, curling myself up, hating myself.

I hate having my heart beating for him. I hate having these small twinkles of hope. I hate these feelings I have for him, knowing exactly who he is, and who he belongs to.

***

Swimming back home, a smile was carved on my face. "Mom, Dad, I really really like him. I know he isn't one of us, but we believe we can make it work," I talked to myself, believing I can convince my parents in accepting him.

The smile on my face dropped when I slipped through the tube, changing into my legs, seeing everything burnt to the ground. There was blood splashing everywhere on my feet. "Mom! Dad!" I shouted, rushing towards the palace, no proper thoughts held inside my mind.

My eyes lurked on the streets, seeing bodies on the ground, blood in every corner. "M-Mom! D-Dad!" I screamed running faster, eyes seeing the guards with a spear in their chest. My breaths come in gasps, and I feel like I will blackout. My heart is hammering inside my chest as it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin.

My legs stopped when I reached the palace seeing my father's head on the throne. The surrounding spin and I squat on the floor, trying to make everything slow to something my brain and body can cope with. I felt so sick, wanting to throw up. I dropped to my knees, eyes watering when I saw someone walking out, fingers tangling in mother's hair, dangling her head, as blood dripped on the tiles. Her eyes were still wide open, mouth widened, as the tears continued leaking down.

***

My eyes blast open, seeing myself in my bedroom. The racing inside my chest refuses to cease as I hit my head a few times. I stood up, walk towards the nightstand, open the drawer, and grab the bottle of pills.

For as long as I remember, I get horrible nightmares when I nap or sleep. That's why I like sleeping with Sebastian, I don't get them when I sleep with him, but I can't tell him that. I don't like it when others look at me with pity, and I don't want it, mainly from him.

I shake my head, mentally scorning myself for forgetting to take today's medication. I rattle out two pills and pop it inside my mouth, grabbing the bottle of water from my desk.

There was a ringing sound, and I jolted back, releasing a deep when I realized it's my phone. "Hello, Grandma Grace."

"Hi sweetheart, I'm calling to check if everything is okay?" her voice sounds the same as always, lovely.

I glance at the door. "Yes grandma; everything is okay," I lied.

"Don't lie to me sweetheart, Sebastian called and said you haven't been behaving."

I pout, laying down on the bed. "That tattle teller."

"Skylar I want you to stop being a little brat and go downstairs, eating dinner with Sebastian," she scorn.

I roll my eyes. "Yes grandma," I mumble.

"Sweetheart, you've been taking your medication right?"

"Yes grandma, two pills per day to keep the nightmares away," I reply.

"Good, I will send you some more, bye sweetheart."

I laid down on my bed, "Bye grandma."

I change out of my school uniform and slowly open the door, hearing nothing but the sound of food cooking, utensils clanking with pots and pans. Slowly, I walk down the stairs, poking my head through the doors into the kitchen, seeing Sebastian cooking plate after plate of food.

Sebastian cooks a lot of food only when he is really angry or frustrated. Slowly, I walk towards him, seeing him stirring the fried rice. "Sebby," I mumble, but he ignores me.

I poke his side. "I'm sorry for my bratty attitude earlier."

He throws down the spatula spoon looking thing, turning towards me, folding his arms across his chest. "Sky I'm just asking you to follow a few rules, that's all. What are my rules?"

"No dating or relationships until legal age, stop crawling into Sebastian's bed, go home on time, and stop jumping out of the window into the pool while pretending I can fly," I mumble, standing next to his list of rules where I broke every single one.

"If you know the rules, why do you break every single one of them?"

"Because I've been a bad bad girl?" I joke seeing the corner of his lips twitching upward, but he keeps his stone face.

I clasp my hands together, staring at his feet. "I'll follow those rules until I turn 18."

He releases a deep breath, patting my head, then wraps his arms around me. "If you pout like that, how can I stay mad at you," he mumbles, placing his chin on top of my head.

"Food?" I squeak out, causing him to chuckle.

"The food will be ready, set the table," he gestures to me to get out before I attempt to start offering to help him cook.

I start setting up the table, inhaling the delicious scent. Sebastian, walk inside the room with all the food, causing my mouth to water.

I clap my hands twice. "Thanks for the food," I said, before digging in. A low moaning sound exits my throat after I chug down the food. I waved my hand in front of my mouth. "This is so hot but so good," I blow out hot steam

He chuckles, scooping the food to his plate. "Here, try this, it's a new dish I cooked." He blew on the spoon letting it cool, and I opened my mouth while he put it inside.

"How is it?" He asks, and I nod, trying not to talk with my mouth full giving him two thumbs up.

Sebastian messes up my hair, and we continued eating, talking about what happened today at work or school. I told him that I shot all the arrows in the red mark today, which qualified me for a competition, and he told me he is proud of me.

I love it when Sebastian praises me; it feels good.

After dinner, we did the dishes together, similar to every night. I would wash, and he would dry because when I wipe, I always drop the plate. I broke his limited collection once, and he banished me from drying the dishes. I remember his exact words. "Princess Skylar Fogg, I hereby banished you from ever wiping a single plate in this household!" with this thick, powerful voice like he was a dictator.

I pinched his inner thigh afterward catching him off guard causing him to shriek like a little girl.

Dictator my ass.

When we finished washing and drying the dishes, we put on Frozen, and we sat there, singing to every song. Sebastian wouldn't sing though, he says that's not cool, but I would catch him humming to the song. He likes this movie, but he rather chops off a finger than admit it.

My eyes flick towards the clock. "Oh!" A lightbulb appeared inside my head, and I shot up.

"Where are you going? Your favorite song is coming on!" Sebastian shouts, knowing my favorite song is Let it Go.

"Paused it!" I scream, running into my closet. I grab the neatly wrapped box hidden behind all the clothes and rush back. Placing it behind my back, I jump in front of Sebastian.

"Happy Birthday!" I shout, placing out the gift.

He snorts, shaking his head. "Don't you think I'm a little too old for gifts?" He said, taking the gift anyways.

I sat beside him as he unwrapped it, the smile dropping as he pulled out a patterned blanket. "You-" he pauses, biting his lower lips "How did you know?" He mumbles eyes staring at it.

I scratch my head. "I heard from Aria that you used to have a blanket similar to this one, but it got burned during the war," I shake my head. "Still don't understand how she knows about that, but I asked if she had some photos of you in it and she had one!"

His brows furrowed together. "Was it the one-"

"Yes, it was the one where you wrapped yourself in it like a burrito inside your bedroom, believing no one can see the uncool side of you," I answered his question. "It may not be the same, but I hope you still like it." I tucked my lips over my teeth, mind wondering if I should've bought him a gift card like everyone else.

After some silence, Sebastian turns towards me, grabbing my hand. "You said these bandages were from archery."

I puff my cheeks. "Some of them are," I reply, giving him a sheepish smile.

He hugs me and my heart skips a beat. "Thank you Sky, I love it," he mumbles, and I can feel his hands shaking.

Soon, we restart the movie, with the blanket on top of both of us. I laid my head on Sebastian's chest, eyes fixated on the movie, ears listening to his heartbeat. My eyes open, feeling a body shuffling on the couch. My head was laying on Sebastian's arm, legs tangling, indicating we had fallen asleep while watching the movie. Peeking upward, I saw his well-rested face. Slowly, I slide my finger across his soft lips, wanting to taste it, but I know I shouldn't.

This is it. This is enough. I shouldn't ask for more between us

Don't ask for more.

Sebastian. Don't love Sebastian, he will only hurt you.

I sat up, throwing the blanket over Sebastian and ran up to my room.

He will always choose her, not you. He doesn't love you. He doesn't even remember you.

I hit my head a few times feeling a painful sensation. I threw the drawer open, grabbing the bottle.

Grandma Grace always tells me if my head hurts, I should always take an extra pill, just in case.

You're going to be alone. No one will love you. You will forever rule alone.

I took out a single pill and threw it into my mouth, taking a bottle of water and chugging it down.

What you need isn't love, it's revenge.

The pain was growing stronger, eating and hearing this weird cracking voice. It always works. Grandma never told me what to do if it doesn't work.

Vengeance, you need to avenge your people.

Hastily, I grab another pill, throwing it into my mouth. Slowly, very slowly the voice started fading, and I released a deep breath.

"Four from now on," I mumble to myself, throwing the bottle back inside the drawer and rolling into bed.

My eyes stare up at the ocean ceiling, where Sebastian painted for me when I got homesick. My lips parted, hands covering my eyes, feeling the water leaking down.

"Why can't it be me?"