Advanced-stage bone cancer... you’re finished.
1658 Words
The next morning.
As the first rays of sunlight filtered into the room and touched Yan Feng's face, he slowly awakened, realizing that he had spent the night shirtless, lying on the floor.
Remembering the terrifying sensation from the night before, he quickly got up and checked himself in the mirror. His back was still swollen, and his bones ached in several places, though the pain was less intense than the night before.
"Usually, the pain disappears with the morning light. Why hasn’t it gone away today?"
Muttering to himself, he pressed on the swollen area and inhaled sharply as a sharp pain shot through his body.
He shook off the thought, used the bathroom, took a shower, and changed into clean clothes before heading out.
There was a market near his residence. Although the swelling had subsided significantly, the strange hunger pangs that had plagued him since the night before persisted.
At the food stall in the market, he ordered double his usual breakfast, but even after finishing, the hunger refused to abate.
He dared not eat more, fearing his stomach wouldn’t handle it, so after paying, he made his way to the hospital to pick up his test results.
However, as he passed by a stall selling freshly drawn goat milk, he suddenly froze, his eyes fixed on the nanny goat.
The pungent smell of the goat seemed to have an irresistible allure, and the sight of the bell-like udder made him unconsciously move toward it.
As he got closer, every cell in his body seemed to buzz with excitement. There was an overwhelming urge to pounce on the goat and take a bite.
The hunger intensified severalfold in that moment!!!
The vendor, a middle-aged woman in a red shirt, noticed him staring at the goat, swallowing hard. She walked over and asked, "Hey there, handsome, want some milk?"
Her cheerful voice jolted Yan Feng back to his senses. He quickly replied, "No, thank you," before hurrying away.
Even after leaving the market, the image of the goat lingered in his mind, and he found himself yearning to go back for another look.
“Damn, am I losing my mind?”
Cursing under his breath, he flagged down a taxi and headed straight for the hospital.
Last Saturday, after the tests, he had a bad feeling. He’d looked up a lot of information online and had a vague suspicion about his condition.
But given that his physical examination at the end of last year had shown no major issues, he clung to a sliver of hope that it might not be true.
At 9:30, Yan Feng arrived at the hospital and collected his pathology report.
The moment he saw the results, his heart sank.
It was bone cancer—just as he had feared.
Though he had mentally prepared himself, the confirmation still hit him hard, making it difficult to accept.
The doctor treating Yan Feng was an elderly man named Dr. Lai, with a head full of white hair and a stern demeanor.
After reviewing the report, Dr. Lai cast a sympathetic glance at him, his expression as if to say, "You’re done for."
"Bone cancer—it’s already metastasizing."
"Is there any chance of a cure?" Yan Feng clung to a faint hope.
"You’re in the late stage, and there’s currently no cure. We can only manage the pain and try to prolong your life through treatments like radiation, chemotherapy, and biological therapy."
"I had a clean bill of health just last year. How could it have progressed to advanced bone cancer in less than a year?"
"We still don’t fully understand the causes of bone cancer. It might have been missed during your previous checkup, or it could be due to other factors, like genetic mutations or viral infections."
Genetic mutations? Viral infections?
Hearing this, Yan Feng fell into deep thought.
“Didn’t your family come with you today?”
“My family isn’t around,” Yan Feng sighed, then asked, “Dr. Lai, every time my symptoms flare up, I experience extreme hunger. Especially today—after eating double my usual breakfast, it felt like I hadn’t eaten at all. I’m still starving. Why is that? And normally, my pain starts at night, but today I’ve been feeling it during the day too, though it’s not as bad as at night.”
"Persistent hunger can be due to a couple of things—low blood sugar or stomach heat. In your case, it’s likely the latter. As for why the pain is worse at night—" Dr. Lai paused, frowning before continuing, "—perhaps you should consider being admitted for further observation."
Yan Feng thought for a moment and replied, “I’ll discuss it with my family first.”
He hadn’t lost the ability to take care of himself yet, and if he didn’t have to, he didn’t want to stay in the hospital. If he did decide to be hospitalized, it would be back in his hometown, not here.
“That’s fine. I’ll prescribe you some painkillers. Make sure you get plenty of rest and eat nutrient-rich foods. It’s also important to inform your family, so they can help take care of you. If your symptoms worsen, come back to the hospital promptly. It’ll help manage your pain and extend your life.”
"Alright," Yan Feng said, gathering his report and preparing to pick up his medication. Before leaving, he asked one last question, "Dr. Lai, how long do I have?"
"That... depends on you. If you maintain a positive mindset and keep up with light exercise, you could live longer."
"Got it."
From a young age, Yan Feng had always been intensely curious about the afterlife.
He would often wonder: What does it feel like to die? Where does the soul go? Is there consciousness? Will you cross into another world?
Because of this, he couldn’t say he was particularly afraid of death.
But as the only son in his family, the thought of dying suddenly weighed on him heavily—how would his parents cope? How could they bear it?
These thoughts flooded his mind, leaving him restless and dazed as he collected his medication and left the hospital.
Standing at the hospital entrance, watching the cars go by, he felt utterly lost.
Call his parents? He didn’t have the courage.
Tell his friends? He didn’t feel inclined.
For more than half an hour, he wandered aimlessly through the streets before finally hailing a taxi back home.
Once inside, he tossed the medication and report onto the bed and collapsed.
He pulled out his phone, intending to look up more information, only to notice a message from his former apprentice, now colleague, Tong Feifei.
"Master, are you off today?"
"Yes."
"Where are you? Out somewhere?"
"At home."
"Oh, are you taking a three-day break?"
"Yes."
"Well, I'm off tomorrow too, hehe!"
After reading the message, Yan Feng didn’t bother replying. He locked his phone and tossed it aside. He no longer wanted any personal involvement with her, nor was he in the mood.
His visions of the future had always been vague, even disorienting.
But now, faced with terminal cancer, he suddenly had clarity. He would quit his job and return home to spend time with his parents.
There was no point delaying. He would resign tomorrow and pack his things.
Since returning from the hospital, he had barely left his rented room except to go out for lunch.
At noon, he had a large steak and two bowls of salty rice, yet just like in the morning, the strange hunger persisted—or rather, the desire to eat, because his stomach already felt full.
Throughout the afternoon, the image of the goat from the morning kept haunting his mind.
By 5:30 in the evening, as the sun began to set, the urge to eat had grown unbearable.
Though he usually kept his evening meals light to maintain his figure, his current state left him with no choice.
He left his apartment, intending to find food, but ended up, as if guided by some unseen force, back at the market, in front of the goat milk stall from that morning.
The woman and the goat were long gone. He stood there, inhaling the lingering scent of the goat, visibly excited, his complexion looking off.
At that moment, the market was nearly empty. A stray dog, carrying a freshly severed chicken tail it had scavenged from somewhere, noticed Yan Feng’s strange demeanor and, terrified, dropped the tail and ran off.
In a daze, Yan Feng picked up the discarded chicken tail and brought it to his nose for a sniff.
It wasn’t until an elderly woman with a vegetable basket passed by that he snapped out of it, threw the tail down in panic, and hurried away.
"Damn it, what’s happening to me?"
At that moment, Yan Feng felt completely overwhelmed by the urge to eat. Passing by a poultry stall, the sight of the chicken blood triggered a frenzy in his body.
Fortunately, he was aware enough of his abnormality to restrain himself from losing control.
“I’ll just buy some meat to eat at home.”
With great effort, he tore himself away from the poultry stall’s temptation and made a beeline for a deli near the market exit, where he bought some chicken legs and braised pork trotters to take home.
As soon as he stepped inside, Youfu, his dog, came bounding toward him, wagging its tail excitedly, tongue lolling out in anticipation.
In that moment, seeing Youfu, Yan Feng’s agitation surged again, and an unsettling thought crossed his mind: It's been years since I had dog meat. Youfu is so plump, it must taste pretty good.
Youfu, blissfully unaware, wagged its tail, looking up at him with innocent eyes.
"Youfu is like family to me. How could I even think that?"
Yan Feng quickly
- Writer
