The Obsessed Mafia Ex

Chapter 4 - A toxic mess

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Chris

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I open my eyes to Meagan trailing kisses down my jawline before taking my ear lobe in her mouth, her hand sliding inside my pajama bottoms, but I grab it causing her to come to a halt before raising her head and looking at me. She wants to have s*x, but that’s not happening right now. “I have to get up,” I tell her trying to sit up, but she pushes me down by the chest before straddling me and pressing her lips against mine. I respond to the kiss but quickly break it and take her off of me the moment she hooks her fingers on my pajamas. That’s the thing about Meagan, she wants what she wants when she wants it, but I’m tired of it.

“What is your problem? You don’t have to go for another hour.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Christian, seriously. I’m getting tired of your moods.”

“My moods? What about your selfishness? Do you ever get tired of that?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You are selfish, Meagan, and I’m tired of it.”

“Selfish,” she scoffs before grabbing her pillow and throwing it at me in frustration. “If being an independent woman who knows what she wants and has no interest in being a housewife makes me selfish, then fine! I’m selfish, Christian! I have goals and ambitions. I’ve worked too damn hard to get where I am, and my career has finally reached its peak. My hard work is finally paying off. I will not let anything or anyone distract me.”

“Are you done?” I ask her having had this argument for months now. I’m tired.

“No, I’m not done! I told you I never wanted to keep the pregnancy. I never pretended like I did. I was honest with you, but you wanted it, and now you’re judging me. I’m trying my best, Christian, and if it’s not good enough for you, then blame yourself. Don’t you dare try to make me a bad person and say I’m selfish,” she says, and just then, the bedroom door creaks open, causing her to stop before she’s finished. Callum, our three-year-old son, walks in rubbing his eyes, and she gets off the bed and storms into the bathroom, slamming the door shut, causing him to flinch. I get off the bed and pick him up before walking out of the room and heading downstairs to make him breakfast. I love Meagan but hate how cold she is. She and I met after my divorce from Lia. I was still going through the motions when I met her, and having a relationship was the last thing on my mind. We met in a club in a LA. She was sitting alone at the bar, and my friend invited her to our table. He and his wife knew her; they had done business together before. She joined us, and long story short, we woke up in each other’s arms the next morning. It turned out she had also just broken up with a guy she was seeing, and we both agreed we weren’t ready to see anyone, so we parted ways in understanding, not expecting anything from each other.

I spent two years overseas before I was finally able to return and face this place. I loved my wife. She was my world, and I was torn apart when our marriage failed. I knew I was never going to get over her. I was never going to love anyone the way I loved... I love her, but I had to keep going for my son. He needed me to be strong. I lost Lia, but I didn’t lose everything cos I still had him.

Christian was my everything, my heart, and when I lost him too, I couldn’t keep going anymore. I completely fell apart. I spent nights in my bar, drinking myself out of my mind and shutting everyone out. I couldn’t even enter my own bedroom. I hated my house. Everything I saw, everything I touched reminded me of what I lost, and I ended up deciding to move and asking my brother to sell it for me, but he convinced me not to. He knew how I used to love the house and asked me to give myself some time before making a big decision like that. I was sure no amount of time could change my mind but not having the will to put up an argument, I agreed. Now I’m glad I did because time made me feel differently and reconsider. It still hurts when I think about everything but not as much as it used to. I’ve now accepted it, I’m living with it, and life is moving forward. I’m not even angry anymore. I will never stop loving Lia. I have accepted that and not fighting it like I used to, but I have also accepted that she chose him, and I'm focussed on giving my all to my family now.

Three months after my one-night stand with Meagan, she showed up at my penthouse. She told me she was pregnant, and it changed everything. It was like I had been given a second chance, and for the first after the whole thing happened, I could see myself happy again. It felt like I was given a new lease on life. She, on the other hand, didn’t want to keep it, but I didn’t truly believe that. I mean, if she wanted to terminate the pregnancy, why tell me? Why not just go ahead and do it? I mean, it was not like we kept in touch or anything I would never know. I thought she just needed reassurance, and I asked her to keep it. I would have still asked her to keep it even if I were sure she didn’t want it. There was no way I was just going to tell her to go ahead and do it. It didn’t take a lot of convincing, and she agreed to keep it. Three months later, she moved in with me, and one thing led to another, and we started sleeping together, which led us to later decide to give this relationship thing a chance. It wasn’t difficult to learn to love her; she was the mother of my child, after all. Her cold personality bothered me, but no one’s perfect; I’m sure I have a lot of things that bother her too, like my moods, for one. But I didn’t expect her to be cold towards our son too. I thought she’d warm up to him when he was born, but that’s not the case. She’s never there for him. They don’t have a relationship. He has a relationship with his nanny more than his own mother.

She’s always going out of the country on business and would never cancel her trips, even if he’s sick. Whenever I tried to speak to her about it, she threw the fact that I asked her to keep him in my face and accused me of wanting her to stop working and abandon her dreams and goals to stay home for Callum and me, but that’s not the truth. I love that she’s independent and strong. I would never want to change that about her. I have even accepted that she doesn’t want o to be a mother to him even though it hurts, but she’s right. I asked her to keep him. I got a stay-in nanny for him, and we go to all his appointments together. She tags along when she’s here and wants to. I never ask her or expect anything from her anymore when it comes to him... but what about me? She says she loves me and wants the relationship, but she’s never there. She’s always busy, always on the go, and when she has time, I must put everything on hold and cater to her every need. I must be a loving man to her but how when I’m unhappy? I tried and did it for a while because I thought we could overcome our problems, but now I’m starting to see that we won’t, and I’m tired. I don’t want to f**k the woman I love, the mother of my child, all the time, I want to make love to her, but I can’t do that with how things always are between us. We spend so much time apart, and in the little time that we spend together, we are constantly arguing. We don’t even know how to communicate without arguing anymore. Our relationship is not a relationship. It’s a toxic mess.

I place Callum in his chair and start with his breakfast, and just then, Alyssa, his babysitter, walks in and takes over. I make coffee for the both of us and hand over her cup before sitting down, watching her feed him. When I’m done, I head upstairs to the spare bedroom to shower and get ready for work.

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Kim

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I open my eyes, groaning, awakened by my phone's ringtone, before turning to my side and reaching for it. I also realize I’m alone in bed. I frown, looking at the caller Id and seeing Aiden’s name. Why is he calling me? I look at the time, and it’s 11:00 am, but I’m still tired. I only fell asleep a few hours ago. Aiden was even rougher last night or this morning since it was already after midnight. I broke the rules and made him mad, but I don’t understand it. He told me he was setting me free, that he had ended our affair when we started with this. He said I had my voice back, so I didn’t feel obligated to answer his phone call when I didn’t want to. Why I was able to tell him I didn’t want to continue having s*x with him, and he agreed. I thought he was keeping his word, but now, last night, he got mad and hit me. I don’t understand, and the worst part is I’m scared to talk to him about it. To ask him.

A few tears escape my eyes, and I quickly wipe them off before answering the call, but my brows furrow in confusion when he tells me to come outside. He's speaking nicely, but then again, he’s always nice the morning after. It's like a completely different person. I tell him I’m coming and throw on my robe since I’m naked before slipping on my slippers and checking myself in the mirror to find my eyes red. I spent hours crying and muffling my sobs, not that he cared if I cried. I also stopped crying. I don’t know why I cried again last night. I exit the bedroom and walk downstairs, heading outside, and my eyes widen as I step out to find a brand new Audi, and it’s red too, my favorite color. I look at it and him, shocked, as he walks up to me and hands me the keys before kissing me on the cheek while I just look at him dumbfounded. He’s always nice to me and always does something after a rough night, but he’s never bought me a whole car. He would take me out shopping or on an away trip or something along those lines. I have BMW that he bought me, but it’ll only be shipped here this weekend with four of his cars. He's not having everything brought here since he plans to go back once we have achieved what we want.

“You like it, right?” He asks, snapping me back to reality and making me realize I still haven’t moved or said anything. “I love it, Aiden. It’s beautiful. Thank you,” I tell him, and he pulls me into a hug before pulling me toward the car, so I can check it out.