My Little Ghost

Volume 1.4.9 — The Transcendence

“Do you want to see our prisoner?”

Bai Bing Wen turns back again to see Ling Guang giving him an impassive look. “No, thank you,” he declines politely.

“Why not?” Ling Guang replies with a shrug. “You’re staying here, too. You have the right to know these details in case things turn ugly for us. Since you’re still, technically, the Crown Prince of the Central Empire, it would be nice if we can make use of your title in case we get caught k********g a small child.”

“I would rather not have anything to do with the k********g, thank you.”

“You would understand why we’re doing this once you see the prisoner. But maybe, this is for the best. We’ll never know if the sneaky b@stard will finally show us his true cultivation once he finds leverage. And you, Young Master, can make a fine blackmail material against us.”

Bai Bing Wen is no longer surprised to hear Ling Guang’s words. He’s known that the fierce guy’s vocabulary is far more advanced than the rest of the people he’s met here.

A few seconds into their peaceful silence, a figure in bluish-green and white robes with a matching mask jumps down from the roof using his qinggong. His spiritual weapon’s orb is glowing brightly in the darkness before it disappears and soon after, he walks towards the three.

“What are you all doing?” Meng Zhang asks in an indifferent tone, removing his azure mask. “Just because because it’s a cozy weather doesn’t mean you can just slack off and stop cultivating.”

“How’s the prisoner?” Ling Guang replies, completely dismissing everything that Meng Zhang just said.

As if already immune to it, Meng Zhang simply sits next to Jian Bing. “Still not saying anything. He keeps giving me the stubborn eyes.”

“There’s a saying that if you can’t get things through talking, you take them by force,” Ling Guang answers making a ball of red light in his hand and suddenly crushing it. Red specks of dust dissipate in the air. “I think it’s time that we up our game in trying to get answers out of him.”

“You’re literally the only one I’ve ever heard saying something like that,” Meng Zhang replies with an exasperated sigh.

“I want to see him again. Can I bring Bing-gege with me? I promise I’ll protect him,” Jian Bing says in one breath, blinking up innocently at Meng Zhang.

“Not that I don’t trust your cultivation but does Xiao Bing even want to see the prisoner? I’m sure I’ve just heard someone saying he doesn’t want to get involved with this just a few seconds ago, and that sounds suspiciously like something Xiao Bing would say.”

“Thank you for asking but for the third time, I don’t want to,” Bai Bing Wen tells Meng Zhang before giving Jian Bing a helpless smile. “Why do you even want to see him? And with me, too. It’s not like I can be of any help when you’ve all tried your best and you’re all almost just one cultivation away from becoming an immortal.”

“I feel like my aura is familiar with him so I wanted to check again,” Jian Bing says with a small pout.

“Actually...” Meng Zhang starts, giving Bai Bing Wen a somber look. “There’s something that I need to ask you.”

Feeling a bit out of sorts after seeing the expression on Meng Zhang’s face, Bai Bing Wen nods. “Okay. Ask away.”

Meng Zhang looks around them before clearing it up. “Are you sure I should ask it here?”

“Now that you said that, I want to hear what it is, too,” Ling Guang says, this time sitting next to Meng Zhang. All four of them are now sitting outside the door of the house.

Meng Zhang clears his throat first, before he begins speaking. “After we got back from facing your tribulations, I accidentally saw you taking your clothes off. But don’t get me wrong. It was probably because you left your door open and I was going to give you a set of robes.”

“And?”

“What do you mean ‘and’? Are you not even surprised? It’s scandalous, especially for someone like you who comes from an empire promoting purity and sacred peace,” Meng Zhang argues.

“But that’s not my fault.”

“I know, but you should be a little surprised.”

“And this isn’t even my world, so my customs are unsurprisingly different from the people of this empire.”

Meng Zhang looks away. “I know. I’m sorry, I almost forgot that. Sometimes, I can’t think clearly with this muddled head.”

“So... Is that it?” Bai Bing Wen asks carefully, resolving to just intentionally opt out the idea that Meng Zhang is so obviously trying to tell him.

He must be hoping to see Huang Di in him from time to time.

“Not really. There’s also something else,” Meng Zhang admits with a lower voice.

“Tell me,” Bai Bing Wen says.

“I noticed that on the lower part of your... Uhm...” Meng Zhang clears his throat first before continuing uncomfortably with a red face. “Y-your back, there’s a strange mark.”

At this, Bai Bing Wen narrows his eyes. He never realized that the growing symbol on his body from the modern world would be carried here with him even though he’s possessing a different body. “I do?”

Meng Zhang nods affirmatively without looking back at him. “It’s a serpent. It had green eyes when I stare—glanced! Glanced at it. It had glowing green eyes when I glanced at it.”

Instead of noticing how Meng Zhang just openly admitted to staring excessively at his body, Bai Bing Wen’s focus stays longer at the context of what he just said about the strange mark.

When Bai Bing Wen was a little kid who got lost somewhere in their family’s ancestral grave and mysteriously found Starflame, he also came home with an odd symbol on his lower back. His mother was the first who noticed this symbol while she was applying baby powder on his back before putting him in his favorite onesie. The symbol was of a small, black egg.

As years went by and he was growing up, the tattoo was following the development of his age, as if it had a life of its own. Coming from a wealthy family, the Bai clan had tried various ways of trying to remove the tattoo, but to no avail. It kept growing from a small egg to a cracked egg, a long, slender worm with a slightly bigger head, and until he reached the age of eighteen, it turned into a serpent.

Which is exactly what Meng Zhang has seen on him.

The thing is, as far as the growth of this odd tattoo is concerned, he’s never seen it with any color. It has always been just black ink, and it never had eyes. Let alone, glowing green ones.

“Maybe the Crown Prince Huang Di had it before,” Bai Bing Wen lightly denies.

“No, that can’t be. I’ve seen the Crown Prince’s naked back and he’s not one to break the rules of his empire. I know every single thing about him, inside and out. He won’t...”

When Meng Zhang realizes what he just said, it’s already too late to take it back. Jian Bing is gaping at him in disbelief, Ling Guang is looking suspiciously at him with narrowed eyes, and Bai Bing Wen is simply sporting a face of indifference. Had he not been prepared for this kind revelation, he would have stared at Meng Zhang in shock, too.

“I..” Meng Zhang can’t even finish the words he’s trying to say before he stands up and runs inside the house.

The three men left outside can only just drown themselves in tense silence, with only the occasional howling of demon beasts from afar.

“I’ll talk to him,” Bai Bing Wen finally breaks.

Both Jian Bing and Ling Guang can only answer him with silence. As Bai Bing Wen walks after Meng Zhang, Ling Guang follows him a few steps into the house.

“What are you going to tell him?” Ling Guang asks, firmly pulling on Bai Bing Wen’s arm.

Bai Bing Wen gives Ling Guang a small smile. “Don’t worry. I’m just going to tell him that I’m trying my best to get the original Crown Prince back. After all, I have to go back to where I came from, too, and it would be unfair if I don’t at least console the people who once cared for him deeply and dearly when I can’t even guarantee that he can still come back safely in this body.”

Ling Guang scowls at this and looks away, letting go of his arm. “I’m not worried. Just... Tell him it’ll be okay and we’re not going to look at him differently for this. And also...”

“What?”

After a few seconds, Ling Guang simply shakes his head. “Nothing. Go on and talk to the little dragon. He might be needing your comfort this time.”

Bai Bing Wen doesn’t say it but he’s sure that what Meng Zhang needs is not his comfort, but Huang Di’s. And although he wants what’s best for Meng Zhang, he can’t just act like Huang Di and relive their memories together for the sake of pacifying his sadness.

So he knocks on Meng Zhang’s door with a heavy heart and a mind filled with chaotic thoughts.

“Meng Zhang?” he calls out. He feels like this is the first time that he’s addressed Meng Zhang by his name in this manner.

“You may enter,” Meng Zhang replies from inside the room.

When Bai Bing Wen slides the doors open, he sees Meng Zhang back to his true form with the flower crown, watching the night sky from his window. How he changed his clothes that quick is beyond Bai Bing Wen.

“Are you comfortable with talking to me?” Bai Bing Wen asks, keeping the doors open behind him in fear of suffocating Meng Zhang further with his mere presence.

“Yes. And I know what you’re thinking but I would rather have the doors closed for this inevitable conversation.”

So Bai Bing Wen carefully and quietly slides the doors close, waiting for Meng Zhang to start speaking again.

“I’m sorry.”

Bai Bing Wen gapes at him before recovering and clearing his throat. Thankfully, Meng Zhang’s back is facing him and the guy is too focused looking at the skies outside. “What are you apologizing for? And so casually, too. I’m surprised.”

“I wanted to speak to you casually because I consider you a close acquaintance, Xiao Bing. Or a friend, if you may.” He turns to look at Bai Bing Wen and his eyes immediately fill up with tears.”But every time I look at you, it keeps reminding me...” He lets out a sob before sniffling a little. “You know, there was a time in the past that I would have easily said anything that came to my mind around the person who originally lived in that body. Huang Di, he... He was someone who never cared whether I spoke impolitely or acted too immaturely. Because with him, the rest of the world becomes an irrelevant blur and all that was important to me was cherishing the little moments we could have while we still could.”

Not knowing what to say to make him feel better, Bai Bing Wen resolves to just walk closer. “Breathe a little,” he reminds the other guy gently.

Meng Zhang nods, taking the flower crown off of his head. He holds it against his chest as he sobs some more, making the flowers glow up in beautiful bluish-green color. “You’re not him. You’re very different from him. It was really pathetic of me to think that you just treated me differently that first day I saw you with Ji Feng Huang because you lost your memories of me so I pretended like I didn’t know you, too. But, no.” He takes a few shaky breaths and gazes up at Bai Bing Wen with tears that never seem to end. “He’s left-handed, and you’re good with both hands. He easily gets cold, and you don’t.” Chuckling a little in between his words, he absently puts back the flower crown on his head and goes on. “He’s a special opaque mage, you’re a special martial cultivator. And most of all, he’s my Huang Di, and you are Bai Bing Wen. These are some of the things you can’t just change by simply losing your memories.”

Bai Bing Wen can only stare wordlessly at him. Meng Zhang truly is a beautiful person. Even in tears. It’s no wonder that Huang Di sees him as the most beautiful creature he’s ever met. Although they have different definitions of ‘most beautiful’, he won’t deny that Huang Di has found a suitable partner for himself.

“The fact that these trivial differences are a gigantic proof that he’s no longer here is hurting me,” Meng Zhang says with a somber tone. “My heart feels like it’s going to burst out of pain.”

No longer indifferent enough to bear the sight of Meng Zhang’s tears, Bai Bing Wen sighs deeply, and carefully fixes the flower crown on Meng Zhang’s head. Then he holds him by his shoulders, smiling a little. “This may not sound so comforting but I’ll try my best to find a way to get him back. I cannot promise you anything but know this—you’ll be okay. One day, you’ll look back at this and just sigh or smile to yourself, but a small part inside you will tell you that you’ve already gone far, and this doesn’t hurt as much as it did the last time. Facing me like this, talking to me and making me feel like I’m not just a temporary person trying to steal the body of someone you treasure so tenderly, is the bravest thing you’ve done for the Crown Prince Huang Di. It just shows how genuine your feelings are for him that they go beyond the person’s body and you’re not confusing me for him. Thank you. Really. For treating me as me, as Bai Bing Wen, and not as a defective replica of the lovely Crown Prince in your eyes.”

Instead of getting consoled, Meng Zhang wails this time, looking at his feet. He’s almost breathless and he won’t stop shaking.

“You know, where I’m from, there’s a form of comfort that everyone thinks is really effective. Do you want to know what that is?”

Meng Zhang pauses to sniffle and takes a deep breath, probably knowing that what Bai Bing Wen is doing now to distract him is already a form of genuine comfort. “What?” he asks, meeting Bai Bing Wen’s eyes.

Bai Bing Wen spreads his arms wide open and gives him a lopsided grin. “A hug,” he answers simply.

When Meng Zhang just stares at him, looking lost, Bai Bing Wen groans inwardly and impatiently reaches out to pull Meng Zhang in his embrace. He has one arm around the back of Meng Zhang’s head, the other around the back of his shoulders. They’re almost at the same height, with Bai Bing Wen only a few centimeters taller than him. At first, Meng Zhang is just standing there stiffly, but he’s not pushing Bai Bing Wen away. A few seconds into it, he slowly drapes his arms around Bai Bing Wen’s waist, and hugs him back. The longer they stay in this embrace, the tighter Meng Zhang’s hug is becoming.

“Thank you,” Meng Zhang mumbles against the side of his neck.

Bai Bing Wen chuckles to himself. “Ah, but I have a lot more to thank you for so this is nothing.”

Meng Zhang pulls him closer. “Can you stay here until I fall asleep?”

Nodding, Bai Bing Wen can only think of it similarly to those nights when his older brother would get nightmares and he would take turns with his Zhang-gege in embracing Bai Li Jie to sleep. “Okay.”

“Then... I’m going to bed.” Meng Zhang pulls away and smiles up at him before walking towards the bed and lying under the sheets.

As Meng Zhang makes himself comfortable, Bai Bing Wen quietly lifts the chair next to the table and places it by the bed. He sits there and smiles at Meng Zhang. “Get some sleep.”

“I will. Just... It’s too quiet for my loud mind.”

Bai Bing Wen crosses his arms over his chest. “Then tell me about the Crown Prince Huang Di, to kill time. What was he like? What did he like doing? How was he to you?”

When Meng Zhang answers him with silence, Bai Bing Wen almost believes that Meng Zhang has fallen asleep. But not even a minute later, the guy finally speaks in a soft voice, “Huang Di is not just a person. He’s an experience. He’s a place. He’s a moment.”