The Layers of His Mask

7. Everyone Loves IHOP

I spend the next couple of hours pacing back and forth in the small waiting area of the ER. What the hell is taking them so long? I have been waiting here for two hours and if they keep me waiting any longer, pretty soon I won’t have any fingernails left to bite.

My legs start to ache, so I go and sit down in one of the hard seats farthest away from the rest of the waiting family members. I rest my face in my hands - knee bouncing furiously - more tears stain my cheeks. I hear the rustling of shoes and my head shoots up at the sound of them. I am rewarded not with a doctor, but with the person I want to be rewarded with the least.

Alex.

His brows furrow in confusion, probably at my blotchy red cheeks and puffy, watery eyes. His bafflement is replaced with concern as he saunters over to me. He’s standing in front of me now and something I thought I’d never see in a million years from him happens. He gets down on one knee in front of me.

I straighten in my seat and scoot as far back as possible. “Um...what are you doing?” my nails dig into the hard plastic of the chair.

“Relax,” he chuckles, “I’m just trying to see if you are okay.”

“Why?”

“I’m not that much of a heartless asshole, Rebecca.”

“Well you could have fooled me.”

“Can you just stop with the insults for five seconds and let me try and be some sort of comfort for you?”

“Why?” I ask again. There has to be some sort of hidden agenda here, or maybe it’s just my paranoia and sleep deprivation kicking in.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or are you going to continue to question my motives?"

"I'm continuing to question your motives in my head, but I will answer your question." I huff out a breath. "I think my brother tried to commit suicide." Alex stands up and takes the seat next to me.

"Are you sure that's what happened? Maybe there is some other reason behind -"

"I'm pretty sure. I found sleeping pills and two bottles of wine near him before I called 911."

"Wow, I'm sorry." He places a hand on my knee, and I don't even bother to ask him to move it because I feel like I may just cry again.

"Yeah, and I think it's my fault." My voice cracks toward the end of my sentence and tears threaten to make an appearance. "It's all my fault, if I wouldn't have gone out I wouldn't be here right now and my brother wouldn't be sitting in a hospital bed while I'm sitting here on the brink of pulling all my hair out and biting off every nail and running my tear ducts dry." I can't breathe, my sobs are coming out more in the form of coughs.

"Hey...it'll be okay. Just breathe." Alex pulls me into an unexpected hug, and I welcome it, laying my head against his chest. "It's not your fault and I'm sure he'll be fine, and you'll be out of here before you know it."

"But it is. It is my fault..." the lump growing in my throat prevents me from speaking another word.

"Ms. Daniels?" I lift my face from where it was buried in Alex's shirt and bring my attention to the young male doctor standing in front of us. I wipe the tears from my face with my shirt and stand to my feet. "Your brother is going to be fine. We pumped all the drugs from his system, and he is now resting. I do however want to send down someone to assess his mental state. I think your brother may be depressed, that's what the case is for most patients who come in from overdosing."

I lower my eyes to the ground. Why didn't I recognize the signs earlier? The constant drinking, being up all hours of the night, barely touching his dinner, sleeping during the day. It's all so clear now that I know the reason behind his change in behavior. I know I'm never going to hear the end of this from my parents.

I nod and throw on a brave face.

"You can come back and see him if you'd like. Will your boyfriend be joining you?"

I look back at Alex then back to the doctor, shaking my head. "He's not my boyfriend," I firmly state, but the look on his face makes me want to rephrase it. He almost looks hurt. "He isn't my boyfriend, but can he come in with me?"

"Oh, my apologies. I'm not supposed to let in more than one at a time, but if you're only staying for a couple minutes that's fine."

"Okay." I look to Alex, he stands and is by my side in seconds.

"This way." The doctor gestures toward the hallway then places his hand on the middle of my back, guiding us down the hallway, to an elevator and up to the second floor. I swear when the doctor did that, I heard Alex continually clear his throat.

"You have five minutes." He sends me a small smile.

I nod.

Alex and I enter his room, the lights are dimmed, and the only sound is coming from the beeping of the machine next to him.

It's so strange seeing him in this state: hooked up to wires and so vulnerable and exposed. I can't bear to look at him upon first glance, I end up turning my head, but then Alex tells me he's right here, so I trudge over to Tim and place a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm so sorry Tim," I whisper in his ear in hopes that he'll hear me. I spot a slight movement in his fingers and I gasp, quickly grabbing his hand in both of mine. "I probably won't be here when you decide to wake up, although I promise I'll be here bright and early tomorrow." I place one last kiss on his cheek then exit the dimly lit room, Alex plants his hand on my shoulder.

The doctor's eyes bounce between the two of us. Clearing his throat, he says, "I will call you if anything changes, I have your house number on his emergency contacts."

"Yes, but let me give you my cellphone number just in case." I reach into my purse, rip off a piece of paper, then scribble down my number and hand it to him. "Thank you so much doctor..."

"Seymour," he completes, smiling, bearing all his perfect, white teeth. "You two take it easy."

He walks off while Alex and I head for the elevator in silence. After a few seconds he breaks the silence when he says, "do you want to go and get something to eat? There's a McDonald's down the street. You look like you could use something to eat."

"McDonald's is gross so that's off the menu. Is my hunger really that obvious?"

"Yes," he laughs, "I have been listening to your stomach growl for the past fifteen minutes. At first I thought there was a dog I hadn't noticed standing around."

"Oh, shut up." I shove his arm playfully then we make our way to his car. Of course, he would have a yellow and black Chevy Camaro. "Oh my God it's bumblebee! Where's Optimus Prime?" I tease, opening the door and sitting down.

"Don't start."

"You honestly thought I wouldn't go there?"

"I didn't expect you to start this early."

"This is only the beginning."

***

"Bam! International House of Pancakes." Alex grins widely up at the blue and white sign, it causes me to laugh, something I haven't done in a while.

"You seriously look like a kid on Christmas," I giggle, shaking my head at his unfamiliar silliness.

We walk inside the building and the smell of coffee fills the air. I hate coffee, but it smells so delicious right now that I want some. I'll just perk it up with extra cream and sugar, that always seems to do the trick.

"Just the two of you?" The blonde haired, blue eyed waiter named Elliot asks. We tell him yes and he leads us to a booth in the far corner.

Alex gets lots of stares from women as we pass by the tables. I want to tell them to take a picture it'll last longer, but my statement would be both unnecessary and rude.

The waiter waits a few minutes then writes down our drink orders. I order a coffee and Alex orders an orange juice. It's funny that we both hate coffee yet I'm sitting here drinking one. I swirl my spoon in the now light brown liquid, making ripples in the coffee that I have barely taken a sip of.

"Still worried about your brother?"

"Yeah, sorry. My mind is still with him at that hospital. I can't fathom why he would want to kill himself." I shake my head to erase the thought, but it comes back full force the less I try and think about it.

“He is going to be fine you heard what that doctor said.” Why did he sound so rude when he said his name? His name isn’t that doctor, his name is Dr. Seymour.

“I know, it’s just...nevermind.”

“Stop blaming yourself for something you did not do. Your brother is going to fine, everything will work out as it should. Now, do you know what you want to order?”

“I do, but I don’t feel like eating anything,” I complain, resting my cheek on my folded arms atop the table.

“You are going to eat, you are not starving yourself on my watch.”

“I’m clearly not starving, I mean, look at me."

"I know what you look like." I narrow my eyes at him and snort.

"s**t. I still have to call my parents." I pull out my phone and hover my thumb back and forth between mom and dad. "I know they are going to be so pissed at me, my mom more so than my dad." I mumble to myself.

"Your dad was always the more reasonable one."

"Yeah." I press call on my dad's number and await his voice on the other line. I make eye contact with Alex the entire time.

"Hello?"

"Hey dad."

"Hey babygirl, is everything alright?"

"Um?" Alex nods, encouraging me to keep going even though I clearly feel like I will pass out any second.

I am slowly being pulled under the tidal wave and there is no way to survive. There is an anchor tied around my ankle, slowly pulling me under.

"Rebecca?"

"Um." I swallow the lump in my throat. "Tim is in the hospital," I reveal quietly. "He tried to commit suicide tonight. But before you get angry, I arrived back home just in time."

"Rebecca," my dad calls calmly, "where are you and what hospital is Timothy checked into?"

"I'm at IHOP with Alex. He was at the hospital and offered to take me home. And Tim is at Grace Memorial Hospital. The only reason I left is because visiting hours are over." I don't know why I feel the need to explain every detail of what happened earlier.

"Okay, call me when you get home. I'll let your mother know."

"Thanks dad." I hang up, stuffing my phone into my pocket. I close my eyes, rub at my aching temples. I think my hunger and lack of sleep is slowly taking over. When I open my eyes, Alex is studying me intently.

"You okay?"

"Yeah..."

"Will you and your father be attending the Grand Chefs Gala next week?" He loves changing up the subject a lot on me, however, it always seems to work. Sneaky little bastard.

"I hope so." I take a sip of my now lukewarm coffee. "Him and I go every year, but with Tim being in the hospital I don't know how well that will work out. Are you going?" A part of me is hoping that he will say yes so I can see how he is in his element and in a suit, although the other part of me hopes not because I don't want to see his face.

"I planned on it, yes."

"Cool." I nod my head, pressing my lips into a hard line.

The food arrives fifteen minutes later, and it smells absolutely divine. The smell of crispy bacon, hash browns, and to top it all off, bananas foster brioche French toast. I take a minute to just bask in the smell of it, deep inhale after deep inhale until Alex decides to interrupt my moment.

"What...are you doing?"

"Admiring the smell of my food," I mumble, stuffing a piece of hardwood smoked bacon into my mouth. "What are you doing?"

"Eating like a normal person." He raises a brow and continues to watch me stuff my face. "You're seriously going to eat all that?"

"I'm hungry, don't judge me." I glare at him then take my fork and angrily insert a pile of hash browns into my mouth.

"Stuff that into your mouth any harder, pretty soon you won't have any teeth." He takes a large bite of his hamburger that looks to be about the shape of my head.

I place my fork down and say, "You would know all about that wouldn’t you? What did you bite down on something warm and hard and break your teeth?" I send him a devilish grin.

He coughs and soothes his aching throat with a cup of water. He throws on his best poker face and asks, "What exactly are you insinuating, Rebecca?"

"I don't know," I shrug, "you tell me." I think we are starting to catch the attention of other diners, but at this point I really don't care, I'm on a roll.

"If you are insinuating that I am in fact attracted to the same s*x, you will be sadly mistaken."

"And how would I know that?" I fake innocence.

He laughs and does that thing he always does where he runs his hand over his hair, closes his eyes, opens them again, and looks up at you from under his long, dark lashes with a smirk on his face. "I can show you...more than I can tell you." He sounds out each syllable of every word with his tongue and I just want to jump straight over this table and onto his lap.

I take a sip of my water - since the temperature in this place seems to have risen a few degrees - and end up choking on it.

What the hell am I thinking? No, Rebecca. No.

I hold up one finger and tell Alex I will be right back. I rush off to the lady’s room and run the water, splashing some on my face. “Get it together Rebecca, don’t let him see how he affects you. He’s an asshole, you don’t want him. You will never want him.” the pep talk that I am currently giving myself does nothing to calm me down and neither does the water.