The Layers of His Mask

6. Family Matters

Five torturous days into my internship, and I finally have a much-needed break - weekend. There is only so much Alex I can handle in one week.

"Have you figured out what you're going to tell mom and dad?" I ask, briefly glancing over at Tim and then back to the road.

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly? We are like five minutes from their house..."

"Just...don't worry about it okay? I'll figure something out."

"Fine."

I stop in the driveway of the ominous brick house that is home to so many of my childhood memories. We go in eerie silence up to the glass door separating us from our parents. I ring the doorbell and wait patiently for one of the two to emerge. Our mother was the first to make it to the door and when she opened it, the look of pure shock was clear on her face. A variety of emotions played like a snapshot on her face, one by one, each quickly being replaced by another.

"Hi mom." Tim walks up to our mother and envelopes her in a hug. My mom is resistant at first, but I know she missed him just as much as I did in his long absence. She slowly wrapped her arms around him, and a single tear comes trickling down her flushed pink cheek.

"I can't believe you're here! Where is Lauren?" My mom looks over his shoulder in hopes of seeing her behind him. But then the smile on her face slowly fades when it dawns on her that Lauren won't be joining us. "Tim?"

"How about we go in inside? It's really hot out." I fan myself to try and emphasize the point of the heat being too much to bear for this conversation.

"Of course, of course." My mom moves out the path of the door to let us in. When inside she yells for my dad who is currently seated in front of the television watching some sort of sport that I can't quite make out from the angle that I'm standing.

We all head to the kitchen for the conversation that I know will go bad like sour milk. With our mom and dad together in the same room, I know words are going to be said that should have never left mouths. My mom walks over to the cabinet pulling out a couple of wine glasses and then to the fridge for a bottle of wine. She sets these things out in front of us and pours a fair amount for everyone. I guess no one really knows how to start said conversation so I down my glass and pour myself another.

"So, what's this about?" Our father asks, looking from me to my brother. When I glance at Tim, he is now on his third glass of wine and I can tell he's nervous.

"Well...I came here to tell you, mom and Becca about Lauren and I." Tim begins to explain. "We are getting a divorce." His lips form into a hard line and he averts his attention to the pattern of the dining room table.

Oh my...Didn't see that coming.

"What do you mean a divorce? I thought we discussed that marriage is not to be taken lightly in this family. What happened?!" Leave it to my mother to just get right down to the crux of the reason for Tim and I being here. I came here to be a nonjudgmental third party, but now it seems that my new role will be a moderator for what's to come.

"Mom, people get divorced okay?" He runs his hands through his dark brown curls. "Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. And I know we discussed that divorce is not an option but trust me when I say this divorce is much needed."

"Needed how?" my dad chimes in. Great, now I have to worry about what comes out of his mouth too. Why can't my family just leave things alone and let stuff be?

"I really don't want to talk about it, dad."

"Well you need to. How else will we know what a divorce was needed for?" my mother adds. She's clearly upset now, and so is my brother. He gets her short temper from her I'm sure. Me, I tend to have a little of both: my mother's temper and my father’s serenity.

"She cheated on me, okay? Are you happy now?"

"Why would I be happy about something such as that Timothy?"

"Because you love to pry information out of us! And now that you know, you have to leave me the hell alone about it!" Timothy angrily removes himself from the table and storms out of the kitchen, leaving our mom, dad, and I in an extremely awkward silence.

"I'll go check on him." I begin to stand when my dad stops me and tells me that he'll go and check up on Tim instead. Now I am left with my mother and I don't want to be the next target of her round of twenty-one questions.

I place my hand atop my mothers, tears start to prick her eyes and I can't help my own from falling down my cheeks. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine sweetheart." she forces a smile onto her face, and I can tell that it is not a genuine one. "How is your internship going?" And here we go.

I lower my head. "It's going okay, I guess."

"Just okay? I thought with you working with Alex, it would be a bit more enjoyable for you work-wise."

"It would be if number one: he wasn't an ass. Number two: he wasn't an ass. Oh, and number three: if he wasn't a jerk. He like humiliated me in front of the whole kitchen a couple of days ago. It was embarrassing to say the least."

"Watch the language. Young ladies do not curse."

"Well I'm not acting like a lady right now, mom." I mutter. Keeping my cursing to a minimum has always been a struggle of mine. My mother kept a swear jar for me throughout my entire high school years and put it towards my college fund. Let's just say it paid for a couple of courses in college.

"You never were the lady type," my mom jokes.

"Why don't you come and work for your father like we initially discussed?"

"Because mom, I don't want live under his spotlight. It's embarrassing enough seeing my pictures plastered online."

"Just think about it, okay?"

"Sure, mom."

We talk for a little while longer before my brother Tim and my dad come back into the kitchen to join us for lunch. Tim apologizes for his outburst and my mother apologizes for her prying ways, even though I honestly think she can't help that side of herself.

Tim and I finish up lunch and tell our mom and dad we will visit another day. We drive home in a comfortable silence, neither of us wanting to disturb it after the day we both had and experienced together.

***

"Have I told you that your brother has gotten really hot over the years?" Hannah tells me while flipping through my latest issues of seventeen magazine.

I look up from my laptop and glare at her. "Don't even think about it Hannah, family members are off limits."

"What? All I said is that he's hot. Aging has done him some major justice my friend."

"Ew. Just...no." I shake my head to rid the unpleasant image from my mind.

"Just saying." She smiles to herself and I know that she is planning something, but I also know that my brother will have no part in it if I have anything to do with it.

"Oh my God you guys come look at this." Hannah and Violet come and stand beside me and look at the screen of my laptop to discover the reason behind my loud outburst.

"What the hell? Why is Michael adding you on f*******:? I thought you guys were never going to talk again?" Hannah asks me. I don't know the answers to any of her questions and I don't want find out.

"Are you going to add him?" Violet asks.

"I don't know." I look up at her to look for an answer to my question, hoping she can give me some of her much-needed advice. "Should I?"

"It's up to you love. If you think you can handle talking to him again, then go for it."

How Michael and I ended things was on a sour note. I came to his apartment one day only to discover him in bed with another woman. It hurt so much because I trusted him with everything in me. We talked about getting married and having kids and all that got threw out the window the moment his lips touched hers.

I guess in a way I get where my brother is coming from. It's hard knowing someone you confided in and loved chose to be unfaithful. I slept most those days away, gained an uncountable number of weight - most of which I kept on - and ate Ben & Jerry's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was a hard time, so I can only imagine what Tim is going through.

I wonder where the b***h is now? And why is Michael choosing to befriend me on f*******: again? I hope he doesn't expect me to come crawling back to him like some long, lost puppy because he will be sadly mistaken.

I hover my mouse over the accept button. Hannah, Violet, and I all watch in shock as I hit the accept button and logout of f*******:. f**k. My. Life.

"Okay change of subject. So how is the internship going?" Violet asks. I really wish people would stop asking me this question. The answer will always be the same: I can't stand the person that I am currently working for. He is an egotistical asshole who drives me insane.

"Hate it." I tap angrily on the keys of my keyboard, each peck getting louder with every word that comes from my mouth. "I wish Alex would jump off a very high cliff and never come back so that I never have to see the evil smirk on his face ever again." I let out a deep exhale when I'm finished with my rant. Hannah and Violet are now staring at me like I have just gone off the deep end.

"Um, sorry I asked." Violet tells me. I know she only asking in hopes of me not coming off so irritated, but it was sort of unavoidable at this point. "How about we go to karaoke tonight? We usually have so much fun when we go, but we haven't been in a while."

"Yeah I'm up for some karaoke. Maybe it'll get my mind off that asshole."

Hannah, Violet and I get dressed and head down to Thirsty's Karaoke and Bar. When we arrive the place is packed, and the smell of alcohol is wafting through the air. I forgot how much I missed this bar. The drinks are worth the wait though. They don't water them down like most bars, so you pretty much get what you pay for.

"I see an empty table in the corner. Go grab the table and I'll order us some drinks." Violet walks over to the bar, her heels clacking against the hard flooring. Hannah and I take a seat, watching a clearly hammered man attempting to sing Cold as Ice by Foreigner.

It's so much more entertaining knowing that he is drunk. I look around and see people everywhere having fun and momentarily forgetting their lives. And a pang of guilt drives deep into me at the thought of having abandoned my brother at home. He would have liked it here, at least liked the change in atmosphere and mood. He definitely needed it after the events of the day.

And what kind of a sister are you exactly? Neither did you talk to him about his problem nor did you do anything to help him feel better. Sister of the year award goes to -

I immediately take out my phone and call Tim. It goes to the voice-mail. I try two more times and it just keeps going to the voice-mail, and that was enough to get me all panicky. He had stayed on the living-room couch all day after we returned from my parents' place and didn't so much as nod when my friends came over or when we left. And now, he was not attending to his calls and I fell like a shitty sibling for having abandoned him like that just to enjoy myself.

Suddenly, the idea of spending time with my friends doesn't seem as pleasing and the bar doesn't have its soothing lively effect it was supposed to have on me normally. Hannah finally notices me after taking her time looking around and smiling at strangers occasionally. Right when she was about to open her mouth to ask me something, Violet returns to our table with the drinks-tray in her hand. She immediately catches on to my jitteriness and voices her thoughts.

"Becca, are you alright?"

"No. I mean, I'm fine, but I should really be leaving. I shouldn't have come here."

"What? Are you pregnant or something?!" Hannah asks genuinely with wide-eyes.

"What?!"

"No!" Violet and I shout at the same time. Hannah visibly relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief.

"Why would you even think that?" I ask her, still dumbfounded that she would think that.

"You were not making sense and why else would a girl want to get away from a perfect night at the bar?!"

Seriously, this female and the way her brain works are in a different dimension of their own!

"No, you silly woman. Look, guys, I really need to get back to my brother. He's -" I decided against telling them about the divorce, it's not my decision to tell them anyway, " - going through a pretty rough patch right now. And I feel like a crappy person for abandoning him when he needs me the most. I really can't do this tonight, guys. I'm so sorry, I should have told you before we left. I'm so sorry."

They catch onto how serious the situation is with my tone and the look on my face. Hannah smiles sympathetically towards me, squeezing my hand on the table.

"The only person you should be apologizing to now is your brother," Violet says, "Go ahead girl, we can do this some other time."

"Yeah, thanks for understanding, girls! And please don't leave on my account, I feel guilty enough."

"Ha! Don't worry! We already bought the drinks, so there's no point in leaving," Hannah laughs and Violet joins in.

I smile and bid them good-bye before heading home. It's a good thing I chose to drive my car, too, despite Hannah insisting that I ride with her and Violet. On the way back I try to call my brother again but to no avail I am once again greeted by his voice-mail. And that's when the enormity of the situation finally sets on me and panic kicks in, full-on. I press down on the gas-pedal and try to make haste in reaching home, praying nothing is wrong. But I couldn't help the cold heaviness in my gut as I kept dialing his number again and again.

***

"Tim?" I call while I remove my heels and place them next to the front door. "Tim?" I call once more. The smell of liquor in the air is strong in the living room, so I know that he is here.

I walk around the couch and find my brother passed out on the floor with a bottle of sleeping pills and two bottles of wine lying next to his head.

"Oh my God. No. No, no, no, no, no, no." I drop to my knees next to Tim and shake him hesitantly, hoping that he will wake up and respond. "Tim?" I shake him again. My voice is coming out hoarse now as tears stream down my face in an uncontrollable mess. "Tim, can you hear me?"

He doesn't respond, his breathing is ragged, so I immediately dial 911. They arrive to my apartment fifteen minutes later and I hop into the back of the ambulance truck, holding my brothers hand the entire ride there. I glance down to the hand I'm holding and see that my brother is still wearing his wedding ring. I slip the ring off of his finger and place it in my purse. I'm sure in his drunken stupor he had chosen to put it on. I'm also pretty sure when he wakes that, that ring will be the last thing he wants to see.

They rush his gurney off to the emergency room. The paramedic informed me that he would most likely have to have his stomach pumped to rid the pills from his system.

I cry. All I can do is cry at this point because this, all of this is entirely my fault. If I wouldn't have gone out, if I would have just stayed home and looked after Tim, I wouldn't be going through this. I am a shitty excuse for a sister.