New Leaf

Chapter 20

I entered my room laughing at Burak, although when I saw him staring at me when I was dancing his look made something click inside my mind as if there is something staring in my face but I'm not seeing it. Shrugging off that feeling I finished my sandwich and the glass of yogurt before entering inside the closet to choose the outfit of the day, I picked up a black yoga pants and grey baggy shirt before entering to the bathroom for a quick shower before getting ready and going back down to wake up the girls.

I was sitting near the fireplace with a warm cup of tea in my hand, straring at the dancing flames while my mind is in a completely different place. The guys were all up now and having breakfast in the kitchen while Burak has fallen asleep, the time now is 9 AM and the workers will arrive in an hour.

***

Christmas lights were to be decorating the railings of the mezzanine floor at the barn, the dance floor inside the barn and the trees that are surrounding the garden area were the tables are set, few garden torches lighting the garden's walkway leading towards the barn. 

I was on the ladder helping the workers to hang the lights, while the guys were helping the workers with the other stuff. Defne is helping the cateres, Meryem is helping the workers with the flowers, Alp is helping the DJ to set up, Onur is instructing the valet parking and helping with the torches and Burak giving instructions to the waiters.

I sneaked few glances towards the guys while working to see if there were problems or someone needed help and that's when I've noticed Onur and Alp teasing Burak who didn't take his eyes off of me the entire time, with every move I make, every step I take I felt his eyes burning me with the intensity of his stares. I tried to brush him off and focused at the task at hand, I walked around him totally ignoring him while continuing with the lights.

Images started to pop up in front of my eyes about Burak, I shrugged it off few times trying to concentrate but with the way he is staring at me is making the images to pop up nonstop in my head. Weird images he was on top of me smirking, the weirder image was of him between my legs staring at my eyes and his eyes has darkened with lust.

I shake my head in an attempt to remove these images from my head 'it's not like it's the first time that these kind of images pop up in your head' my subconscious say

'yeah but they were usually are with guys I like and have some interest in and that doesn't apply on Burak İ don't have any interest in him, I don't even like the guy' I answered my subconscious 

'really?!' my subconscious scoffed at me 'at least be honest with yourself, for a few days you two have been orbiting around each other, not to mention the chemistry that can be felt between you twould from miles away' my subconscious continued making me nod my head in approval

'okay than it'sa small crush that will fade with time no big deal' I comfort myself 

'keep telling yourself that' my subconscious through at me before shutting up, I felt a hand poking my shoulder bringing me out of my head "what?" I ask before turning my head to see who was that

"The hairdresser and makeup artist that Burak have arranged for us have arrived come on" Meryem tells me before heading inside the house, I look around me and see that all of them were walking back inside the house.

"I'll have a shower before meeting you guys in your room" I tell the girls while climbing the stairs toward my room, I take my dress and heels out of the closet and into the room laying them on the bed before stripping out of my clothes and jumping inside the bathroom.

---

I just finished my hair and makeup before climbing back towards my room, my hair was half up with big curls fanning around my shoulders, my makeup was simple with red eyeshadow, black eyeliner and deep red lipstick.

I take off the shirt and the leggings that I'm wearing before putting on the dress, it was a tall dress with a slit from my left thigh to the floor exposing my leg and the red heels that I'm wearing tonight, the back of the dress covered my tattoo, the front was an off shoulder open v neck line showing some cleavage and exposing the tattoos on my collerbone and shoulder, the one on my collerbone to the left says ^hayal^ (dream) and the one on my left shoulder is for a phoenix.

I reached the zipper to close it but I couldn't go all the way, with a few failed attemptsI gave up and decided to call Burak for help "Burak can you come to my room please" I called before putting on the gold necklace arround my neck and than starting to put on the gold earings when I heard a knock on my bedroom door "come in" I say while wearing the gold bracelet and rings before I turn around and walk towards Burak "great you're here, I need you to help me with the zipper" I say while stopping in front of him and than turn my back to him, I remove my hair to the right side for better access.

Couple of minutes have passed with us standing like this, the heavy feeling of his presence behind me and our closeness are not helping especially when those images popped back up in my head. I was on full alert, all my nerves were extremely sensitive, I could feel his hot breath fanning my neck 'I need to break this spell before something stupid happen' I tell myself before asking him "what happened? Is it stuck?" Playing ignorance 

I heard him cough before feeling him getting away from my neck making me let go of the breath that I didn't notice I was holding on, I feel his hands closing the zipper before they go up to grab my shoulders. He slammed me to him pressing my back to his front making me take a sharp breath, I feel him lowering his head again, his warm breath fanning my neck. 

My heart start to beat wildly in my chest, I could hear the blood pumping, I closed my eyes preparing myself for what's to come "Burak our families are here" Alp says from downstairs breaking the spell around us, I open my eyes before feeling Burak leaving my shoulders and walking out of the room closing the door behind him. I release the breath that I was holding, I compose myself and take a look at myself in the mirror before walking out of the room and following him downstairs to greet the guests.

'I just want this party pass by without any problems' I tell myself 'it's going to be hard to control my wild mind now' I continue while stepping down the stairs "God help me" I say when I reached the front gate, I take a deep breath before putting on a smile and heading towards the guys.

***

The Party-Part One

***

Halfway through the night and the party is on full swing, I was sipping my glass of champagne when I notice Burak sitting at the far end of the garden, alone in the dark, I've never seen him so sad even though he was so excited for this party. 'maybe something went wrong' i say before I finish my glass in one gulp and giving it to a passing waiter before taking a deep breath and start walking towards him.

"Penny for your thoughts" I say before sitting next to him

He takes a deep breath before saying "nothing" with a shake of his head

"I've never seen you this way before,  what happened to you? I mean you were exited for the party, you even planned the hall thing to the smallest details and now that you are finally here you look like you regretted having it" I tell him

"Remember when I told you that I made this party to find the girl?" He asked me and I nod in response before he continues "she's not here, I can't find her anywhere, she didn't come" releasing his breath in frustration 

Few minutes passes making the silence stretch between us before I feel a plan start to form in my head "you told me that you've spent the hall night with her right?" I ask him and he nods looking at me with confusion "what did you talk about? I mean sure she didn't give you her name but I'm sure she gave you few clues about her right?" I ask again 

"Where are you going with this?" He asks me with full confusion 

"Why don't you think about that night and your conversation, what you two have talked about and I'm sure you will find something to lead you to her. If you are sure that she deserve all this effort" I tell him and notice how the look of confusion disappear from his face and he goes into deep thoughts, I stand up to go back to the party but before I leave him I turn to tell him "now I want you to returnto that annoying guy that makes me angry with just being in the same room with him" he glares at me making me smile "I don't like this version of you" I explained and notice a small smile cracked his lips, I smile back at him and through a wink before walking away leaving him laghing and shaking his head.

---

The entire night was torture for me, everyone around me were dancing and having fun. My friends with there boyfriends forgetting my existent, Burak is dwelling on his mysterious girl. My mind wouldn't stop flashing the images of me and Burak, whenever I think about what almost happened in the room makes my heart skip a beat. I catch him stealing few glances at me from time to time but than again I remember the reason behind this party and his dwellnes over that girl makes me furious "wait what?" I ask my self suprised by my own reaction 

'since when didid you started to care about him?' my subconscious asks before continuing 'are you jealous?' 

"jealous? Me pfff that's stupid" I answer but not 100% convincing myself, I groan in frustration and decide to drink myself to oblivion maybe I'll find a solution to this internal battle. Couple of drinks down and I start to feel myself starting to relax, the DJ change the song 

~~Bakması ne zormuş ah o güzel yüzüne~~ (Ah how hard it is to look at your beautiful face)

   ~~Toplamış yine bütün güneşi üstüne~~ (As if the sun has rised on top of you)

   ~~Kamaşıyor gözlerim bebeğim~~ (My eyes are dazzled by you baby)

   ~~Böyle gülmek olur mu gözünü seveyim?~~(Please, is it allowed for you to smile like this?)

   ~~Cennet dudaklarınmış~~ (As if heaven is between your lips)

   ~~Öpte öleyim~~ (I'll die in a kiss)

   ~~Aşkmış adı nerden bileyim~~ (They say it's called love! Where would I know this?)

   ~~Böyle zulüm olur mu gözünü seveyim~~ (Please, is it allowed to be this cruel?)

   ~~Adımı sorsan söyleyemem yemin ederim~~ (I swear if you ask me my name I wouldn't be able to answer)

   ~~Ah ellerim titriyor~~ (Ah my hands are shaking)

   ~~Of bir ateş basıyor~~ (Of my temperature is rising)

   ~~Özlemek bu dokunmakla geçmiyor~~ (This longing won't pass with a simple touch)

    ~~Ah (Durdur sevgilim)~~ (Ah {make it stop my love})

    ~~Öyle sev ki beni (Yaramaz kalbini)~~ (Love me this way {your naughty heart})

    ~~Mey diye içeyim (Doldur sevgilim)~~ (Let me drink you like wine {fill it my love})

    ~~Kalbim tekliyor ah gel hasta gibiyim~~ (My heart is beating so hard, ah come I think I'm sick)

   ~~Bakması ne zormuş ah o güzel yüzüne~~ (Ah how hard it is to look at your beautiful face)

   ~~Toplamış yine bütün güneşi üstüne~~ (As if the sun has rised on top of you)

   ~~Kamaşıyor gözlerim bebeğim~~ (My eyes are dazzled by you baby)

   ~~Böyle gülmek olur mu gözünü seveyim~~(Please, is it allowed for you to smile like this?)

   ~~Cennet dudaklarınmış~~ (As if heaven is between your lips)

   ~~Öpte öleyim~~ (I'll die in a kiss)

   ~~Aşkmış adı nerden bileyim~~ (They say it's called love! Where would I know this?)

   ~~Böyle zulüm olur mu gözünü seveyim~~  (Please, is it allowed to be this cruel?)

   ~~Adımı sorsan söyleyemem yemin ederim~~ (I swear if you ask me my name I wouldn't be able to answer)

   ~~Ah ellerim titriyor~~ (Ah my hands are shaking)

   ~~Of bir ateş basıyor~~ (Of my temperature is rising)

   ~~Özlemek bu dokunmakla geçmiyor~~ (This longing won't pass with a simple touch)

   ~~Ah (Durdur sevgilim)~~ (Ah {make it stop my love})

   ~~Öyle sev ki beni (Yaramaz kalbini)~~ (Love me this way {your naughty heart})

   ~~Mey diye içeyim (Doldur sevgilim)~~ (Let me drink you like wine {fill it my love})

   ~~Kalbim tekliyor ah gel hasta gibiyim~~ (My heart is beatting so hard, ah come I think I'm sick)

   ~~Ah ellerim titriyor~~ (Ah my hands are shaking)

   ~~Of bir ateş basıyor~~ (Of my temperature is rising)

   ~~Özlemek bu dokunmakla geçmiyor~~ (This longing won't pass with a simple touch)

   ~~Ah~~ (Ah)

   ~~Öyle sev ki beni~~ (Love me this way)

   ~~Mey diye içeyim~~ (Let me drink you like wine)

   ~~Kalbim tekliyor ah gel hasta gibiyim~~ (My heart is beatting so hard, ah come I think I'm sick)

   ~~Ah ellerim titriyor~~ (Ah my hands are shaking)

   ~~Of bir ateş basıyor~~ (Of my temperate is rising)

   ~~Özlemek bu dokunmakla geçmiyor~~ (This longing won't pass with a simple touch)

   ~~Ah (Durdur sevgilim)~~ (Ah {make it stop my love})

   ~~Öyle sev ki beni (Yaramaz kalbini)~~ (Love me this way {your naughty heart})

   ~~Mey diye içeyim (Doldur sevgilim)~~ (Let me drink you like wine {fill it my love})

   ~~Kalbim tekliyor ah gel hasta gibiyim~~ (My heart is beatting so hard, ah come I think I'm sick)

                                                                                                                                                                                            >>>

I don't know what happened with me between my mixed feelings, alcohol in my system, the images that never left my mind, the memories that are swimming inside my head, adding the song to the mix and I've lost all control over my body. I don't know if this is really happening or my mind is just playing tricks on me, but while hearing this song my heart started to beat willy inside my chest, my temperature started to rise, I'm not seeing anyone but Burak.

I left my place with steady steps walking toward Burak without breaking eye contact, once I am in front of him I stop looking deep into his eyes before I started kissing passionately. His responde immediately as if he was expecting this to happen, his hands around my waist pulling me closer to him while my hands are around his neck pulling at his hair.

We break the kiss breathing hard, placing his forehead on mine, our eyes having their own conversation. Lust is evident in both of our eyes, common sense is thrown out the window along with control for the night. He grabs my hand, his fingers crossed with mine before he start walking towards the house dragging me behind him.

Climbing the stairs in a complete silence, anticipation surrounding us, our hearts playing the same rythm. We reach his room, he opens the door for me to enter and then he enters behind me locking the door behind us. He slammed his lips on top of mine again but this time his kiss was hungry and harsher than before, our hands fumbling around to take each other's clothes off. 

He leaves my lips allowing me to take a well needed breath while he continue attacking me with his kisses, down my chin towards my neck where he start to suck and bites. After being satisfied of his work he pushes me not to kindly on the bed making me bounce a little on the mattress before he crawl on top of me, he start kissing my legs and making his way upward till he reach my private part where he start to work his magic making me see fireworks. After reaching my orgasm I flipped us over so that I could be on top and start working my own magic on him, I start kissing him and make my way down... At this point my body is working on it's own accord I don't know what I will remember the next day.