Broken 'Angel'! (Mates And Enemies Series, #2)

Author's Note: Hello, again.

Hello!

I hope each and every one of you is fine in any sector of your life!

I missed you all very much and there is no day that I don’t think of you even if you can’t believe it due to my too long absence.

I know that I’m awful for disappearing like that, but some things happen to us or return out of nowhere and ruin our schedules, and I guess that I couldn’t say it better. It took me by surprise for good this time and I am still fighting to believe-accept and realize it.

I’m sincerely sorry that it took me so long to inform you about what’s going on, but I swear that I hardly write this note right now, after few weeks, so you will understand why I couldn’t write it before. I owe you an explanation, but I think it’s the first time I don’t feel the need to apologize myself for not writing and updating any of my stories lately.

In addition, I want to say that I didn’t have the courage to read any comments you left as long as I was gone. I was scared to be honest, because I respect that my absence was non-expected and some would get frustrated, but I couldn’t do otherwise, I swear.

So, to get almost straight to the point I repeat for (I have lost the number) one more time that I won’t stop writing until I share all the stories I have in my mind with you and the hell, they are way too many. They probably are enough for me writing for the rest of my life, but that’s me and my unstoppable imagination.

These weeks I don’t update, because I don’t write, I can’t write, but I promise that this is just a small pause, since once I am back, the stories will and the next chapters will be ‘stronger’ than before, seriously. This is a bet I want to win against me and my ‘dark’ self that keeps me back last weeks.

And now I know what you want to ask, what you need to know about it.

“What took you so long and kept you away from writing, Marie?”

Well…

I think that I have an answer, although I truly hate it.

You see… I found out that sometimes depression returns and knocks you down when you expect her the least and that’s what happened to me. Of course there were some incidents that helped her, but... Forget about it.

She comes back to remind you that she never really left you, she always was present, but the b***h was perfectly camouflaged, so that you wouldn’t notice her quite easily. Yes, she is silent and insidious like a viper, she sometimes attacks you again when you are at your best and not prepared for her. The difference this time though is that you get shocked at first, as you were caught off guard, you lose time, you paralyze and she earns space and time, she eats your energy, she steals your breath and blocks the light from getting to you. When you finally come back to your senses and try to react, you just can’t, because the pain is indescribable, you have no energy and motivation, you feel empty and helpless. Even breathing makes you suffer, you do everything mechanically, you just ‘survive’ and this f*****g sucks.

You want to scream and ask for help, but you have no voice, it’s gone. You want to run away, but your feet are too weak to carry you. You have no power over your body, heart and mind. You can’t control your emotions and they are pulling you down, to the bottom of the lake. Also, you can’t explain how it took place and what you really feel, it’s like you live in a dream, a nightmare to be more specific, but it’s even worse when you know that you have no damn reason to feel this way this time and it’s frustrating.

Aren’t these enough?

I realize and go through all these the last couple of weeks and it gets worse and worse, but now I feel ready to get up again, talk about it and fight it back, I’m tired of being captured, I want to break free and start living again.

I find back my voice gradually, I put my thoughts in a queue, I become friend with the idea and I accept the f*****g challenge. I feel peace despite the war inside my soul and mind, because I have a target.

I want to heal myself and I will!

It’s hard for me to express myself and anyone, who was, is and will be in my place, but I want to believe that I did it successfully. My thoughts are mixed and colliding, I am dizzy and constantly upset, I even lose my memory sometimes, I have gaps about a variety of things and I remember them when I try to relax. It’s just hilarious, guys. I am crying from laughs about this whole situation, I find it… I don’t even know how to call it, dramatic, funny, mind-blowing.

Anyway, the good thing is that there are few times that I make fun of the situation and I haven’t lost my humor for good.

Okay…

I thought that I had to let you know about it, just because you are a part of my life and you want more of the books, just like I do.

When I write, I write with my soul and I can’t do that lately (it hurts like hell), but this is going to change too soon. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow, so I am positive and I feel much better already. I’m relieved to see him and I feel safer than I used to feel until the day we talked about meeting again. I need to let it all out and I decided to work the hardest than ever to win that annoying, dark lady (depression) for once and for all.

I have the presentiment that we will meet again one of the following days, because I will be well enough to write, so take your break and a deep breath for the stories’ comeback. I feel most likely on updating His Rejected Queen and Thorns Of The Past first. Don’t ask me why. I suppose I need it more.

So… My time has come to its end for now. This is where I leave you (for a while), but before that I would like to tell you one more time how much I love you. I send you my kisses, hugs and prays and I assure you that I get back control over this. Don’t worry about me, I’m not done, I can do this, just like anyone else (in the same or a familiar condition with me) can.

You can also find me in my i********: accounts (I made one more, the second one, only for the books, so you could talk to me through that): ria_kyriakidou, marie_curia_.

And that’s it!

I love you all. Wait for more from me, smile, laugh and enjoy your every moment!

     Marie!