Hawk

1 - I am...

Welcome to book 6 in the Snakes Henchmen MC series! This book will include subjects that can be upsetting to some, including racism and abuse. There will be trigger warnings when and if needed. The book will be free to read, and all I ask in return is that you leave comments :) I hope you enjoy Hawk and Brooke's story!

Hawk

I am what some would call a Bastard.

A cunt.

A criminal.

A murderer.

An outlaw.

I am all those things and more.

I’m also a man in love with a girl he can’t have.

Oh, she was mine not so long ago. At first, she was just some girl I met in a club in town. A blonde-haired, five-foot beauty that had my dic.k straining to get out of my pants the second I laid eyes on her. She told me Brooke was her name, and I loved it because it suited her. I took her home, fucke.d her raw, and made her mine that same night.

There was just something about that girl that had me hooked like a junkie from the second our eyes met. She was mine, and I never wanted to let her go.

She was mine for two amazing years. My Old Lady. The woman I wanted to marry. The woman I wanted to bear my children.

So why did she leave me?

Brooke’s racist cunt of a father found out about us. He found her leather with Property of Hawk written across the back in white stitching. He beat the hell out of her and locked her up like a prisoner.

It’s hard to say how we managed to keep things from him for so long, but we did. Brooke came to see me whenever she could, almost every day. She stayed with me most nights after telling her father she was staying with a friend. Her white friend because friends of color would mean severe punishment from that man.

So why, then, did she fall for a guy with a mixed-race mother and a white daddy?

Because Brooke is nothing like those fuck.s, she calls her family. She was proud to be mine, but she was scared of what her father would do to us both if he knew about us.

I tried to make her see many times that he could do nothing; I would kill him first. However, Brooke begged me not to do anything, that if I really wanted to make her my wife, then we should just do it because once we had, he could do nothing to hurt her. She would have legally been my wife, and he’d have no authority to touch her. However, until then, her father could call the damn cops and have me done for kidnap.

Wouldn’t the cops just love to arrest a Snakes Henchmen?

It took me two days to realize something was up; Brooke never stayed away from me for that long without at least calling me to let me know she was okay. That’s when her piece of shi.t daddy rode up to the clubhouse gate in his pickup truck and demanded to see me. I faced him; cunt didn’t scare me.

However, as he yelled how I needed to stay away from Brooke, my mother came up beside me. It’s undeniable who my mother is; I look just like her, only lighter in color, and my little brother looks just like our father. Brooke’s father, furious, jumped in his truck and rode away.

I couldn’t settle. I waited a while, knew I needed to see Brooke. I had to make sure she was okay. I wanted to tell her that I’d take care of her; she didn’t need that old fuc.k.

So, I rode over to that damn piss-poor farm of theirs with a couple of Brothers and demanded that old cunt let me see Brooke. I wanted to hear from her mouth that she didn't want me anymore.

He dragged Brooke outside and beat her in front of me.

Of course, I rushed over to stop him, and he turned his fuckin.g shotgun on me. I’m no idio.t, the man was a lunatic; he would have shot me right then and there without a second thought.

He dragged Brooke to her feet by her hair and told her to choose, but should she pick me, she’d watch me die right there in front of her.

He might have killed me, but my Brothers would have killed him just the same. I saw the look in Brooke’s eyes as she looked at me; there was no way she was going to risk him shooting me. That’s why she said, ‘I don’t love you, Hawk. I was bored and needed something to pass the time. I’m sorry, but I’d like you to leave and stay the hell away from me!’

Yeah, she fuckin.g yelled it, and even though I knew she didn’t mean it, she tore my fuckin.g heart right out of my chest and stamped all over it. I got the fuc.k on my bike, rode out of there, and never looked back.

I don’t know what Webster did to Brooke when I left, I’ve never heard from her since. I don’t even know if she’s still alive. I grieve as if she died, it’s the only way I’ll get through this.

Prez won’t let me go back to that fuckin.g farm and take my girl back – if she’s even alive. Shepard keeps telling me that he won’t risk me being arrested for kidnap.

I don’t give a shi.t about prison, but he’s right, I’d go down for it, and Brooke would be right back where she started.

I have no mind for other women. Club whore.s come on to me all the damn time. I wish they’d leave me the fuc.k alone with Jack or Johnnie. I drink my fill every night right before I pass the fuc.k out wherever I am and sleep till someone shakes me the fuc.k awake.

I’ve drunk half a bottle of Jack tonight, but it’s doing shi.t for me. I have this weird feeling inside my gut that tells me something is coming. Something big, but I don’t know what that could be.

Maybe I need to get fuckin.g laid, or perhaps I need to quit drinking so fuckin.g hard every night.

Maybe I just need to forget Brooke ever existed.

How do you forget the love of your life?

Because that’s what she was to me. There will never be another like her. She was everything. I’ll even go so far as to sound like a pansy-ass motherfucke.r and tell you she was my soulmate.

As I flop down on my bed, fully clothed, cut and all, I ask myself if this is ever going to stop hurting. Six months later, and it still cuts me the fuc.k up to think about Brooke, but it’s like my brain hates me and taunts me with visions of her. If I could scrub my fuckin.g mind and forget everything; trust me, I would.

How do I forget you, Brooke Webster?

How do I forget the way you made me feel?

I wish I could stop loving you, but I don’t know that I can. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to move on until I know you’re alright.

So that’s what I’ll do. Whether the Prez likes it or not, I’m going over to that damn farm and finding out for myself if she’s dead or alive. To hell with the consequences.