A Spiritual's Mark

Chapter 5: A New Start

-Hope-

“You want to leave?” Hunter inquired.

I sat in front of him in his office. Harper had spilled everything before I had the chance to, so Hunter had called me to his office. It was just him and me. He sat behind his desk as usual, and I sat in front of him. His strong yellow eyes were impossible to meet, so I focused on a spot on his desk as I nodded.

“I do.”

“Harper mentioned you think it will bring Phoenix back,” he remarked.

I nodded again.

“He only left because of me,” I stated.

Hunter sighed, running his finger along the edge of his desk as he pondered my words, but there was nothing he could do to change my mind. I wasn’t even sure why he wanted to. Did he not want Phoenix to come home? He had been here a lot longer than I had. It was only fair, but then again, Hunter probably still felt like he owed me, and not just for saving his life, but Phoenix’s as well.

“Phoenix is complicated,” Hunter said. “He needs time. More than any of us would ever need.”

I shook my head.

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe that is it,” I told him. “I need to go.”

“Are you sure?” he inquired.

“Don’t you want him back?”

“Of course, I do,” he said. “But you are also his mate, and I believe you fit into this pack. Angela and Harper are especially fond of you.”

“I am very fond of them as well,” I said. “But I don’t want you to owe me anything because I am Phoenix’s mate.”

“That is not the entire reason why we are taking care of you. You belong here.”

“I thought that too, but I am not so sure anymore,” I replied.

“Hope, I really think you should take some time to think this over.”

“I have. Ever since he left, all I have done is think and think and think, and it is driving me crazy. I need to go… somewhere. I just need to get away. I can’t be the one to bring everyone down because my own mate doesn’t want me,” I explained.

“I-I would prefer to have you here where I can see you,” he expressed.

“So you can protect me?”

He nodded.

“It isn’t safe out there right now,” he explained.

“Then send me somewhere it is.”

“There is no place! This is the safest for you,” he insisted.

I shook my head, refusing to believe this.

“This Connor does not own the entire world. Send me somewhere. You know I can’t go back to my sisters.”

I lowered my eyes even more. I didn’t mean to say those words to make him feel guilty so he would finally do what I asked of him, but he had to see that I needed to leave. I couldn’t stay here anymore. I needed a change of scenery.

“Please,” I whispered.

Hunter sighed deeply. He could see how much I needed to go, and I knew he wanted to help me, but he also wanted me to be safe.

“I might have a place in mind,” he said.

I looked up at him, hopeful for a few seconds, a small smile spreading on my lips. The first one in months.

“Yes! Please! Just get me out of here!”

“I can’t send you to the king. Right now, I hear he isn’t really in the right mind, and the others are trying their best to keep him in control, but there might be someone else I believe could keep you protected,” he mentioned.

“Yes?”

“Lara Wilson. She is a female luna, ruling on her own,” he informed me.

“She is the one we stayed with, right? When you were sick.”

He nodded. I had been busy treating him, so I had not learned everyone’s names before we had already taken off again.

“I believe that might be the best place for you to go, but if you don’t feel comfortable with living there, I could try to reach out to Madeleine and Evan. I believe they would take you in as well.”

I thought it over. I had been told a little about everyone’s history. Angela liked telling me stories about the others, her time across the sea, and how she got involved with Hunter and Elijah. I knew Hunter had almost been tied to this Madeleine I had not really gotten to meet, and she was now mated to Evan, and Lara, I believed, was the sister of the king’s former mate Selene, who was now mated to his brother. I heard Lara was quite the fierce luna, a bit like the queen, who was sadly still missing.

“So, what do you think? Who is it going to be?” he inquired.

“Lara. I believe that would be the best place for me.”

“You sure? Lara is a tough one,” he remarked.

“Exactly why I want to go there. Maybe she can help me,” I replied.

He looked at me, confused.

"I need to figure out how to cope with all this pain. I heard she once vowed to never claim a mate. Maybe she can teach me how to live without one. I hope to learn something from her," I explained.

He slowly nodded.

“She is mated now. Eventually it seems everyone gives in,” he pointed out.

“But she still rules on her own, right?” I asked.

“James is not really involved in the pack business, even though he is technically the alpha of it. He is more involved with helping the king,” he explained.

“Well, then perhaps she can still help me. She certainly seems to have found a way to take control over so many things, even though traditions have made it difficult for her.”

Hunter seemed to agree, even though he wasn’t very happy about sending me anywhere.

“She certainly has proven to many people not to underestimate her,” he said.

“Then she is perfect! If she wants me over there, of course.”

“Okay. I will call her,” he confirmed.

“Thank you so much!” I exclaimed and got up from my chair.

“Hold on, Hope.”

I slowly sat down, looking at him, confused. He seemed to take his time, gathering himself and his thoughts. Clearly, there was more to say, and I waited for him to speak again.

It took a while, but finally he continued, “You are Phoenix’s mate.”

“Yes, I know.”

“And until either of you reject the other, you will be considered as such, which means your place is here. So, when you are ready to come back, you just call me. You will always be welcomed back.”

My heart started to beat faster, and I felt tears press in my eyes. Even though I had lived among my sisters for so long, I never really felt like I had belonged there, but the feeling I felt now was a sense of belonging. I hated I had to leave. I didn’t want to, but I had to, so Phoenix could find his way back before anything might happen to him. This wasn’t just about my safety and my life. It was about Phoenix as well, and it was not fair I kept him away from his home and family.

“Thank you,” I said, my voice barely anything but a whisper.

“Of course,” he replied as I slowly got up again.

I walked towards the door but then turned around. Hunter looked at me, waiting to hear what I had to say. I took a deep breath, not knowing if I was asking too much.

“C-Could you give me a call once he comes back? I just want to know he is okay,” I said.

Hunter smiled a little. “I will call you.”

“Thank you so much. For everything.”

I turned around again, and this time I walked out of the door, determined to find some control over myself again and truly learn to live. This was no life, always missing someone I knew would never want me. I had to find my way back and be happy again, even if it meant leaving the people I now considered my family.