Guilty Souls

NEW BEGINNING

CHAPTER 8

AZALEA

Two days later…

“Azahhhhh!” Bella’s loud yell was all over our home as soon as she entered the gate. "Azahhh!"

If not for my firm grip on the railings, I would be rolling down the stairs. I withdrew a heavy breath and looked at her while standing at our opened front door.

More or less, I knew the reason for Bella’s beyond the physical world kind of excitement. Her personality totally matched her esoteric beliefs. Bella was always out of this world. She’s a unique species. I sometimes wondered how we remained friends for a long time. Our personalities were polar opposites. 

I was cold as a piece of ice, almost bare of expression whenever I speak and always direct to the point, while Bella was expressive, loud, and bubbled her way through what message she wanted to impart or convey. 

How could two people remain good friends despite the differences? Maybe, we definitely love each other.

Physically, we were almost the same. Same height. Same built --lean, not thin, and we have the same hair, long brownish, but our complexion was different. She's a natural Filipina--olive skin with a tinge of gold. Very beautiful. While me, I took after my Mom, with a little Spanish tinge on my blood; thus, my skin was fair. We could be mistaken as sisters if not for our differences in skin color. 

I met Bella in High School, and since then, we have been entangled. During our last term in college, I met Nimuel through her cousin, a military man in a military soirée. 

Bella and I were inseparable; she’s like a sister I never had. She was still in college since she shifted to another course. She couldn't handle the business law while I graduated ahead of my batch since I took up more than a semester's load to finish a 7-year course in 5.5 years.

I shook my head repeatedly when I saw her rush her steps to the stairs towards me. 

“Azahhhh!” Bella was crying when she hugged me. She was definitely on cloud nine. She cries whenever she’s happy and rants loudly when she's mad, but all the time, she's loud. 

“Yes! I passed the BAR, Bella!” I blurted out to save her from her long and winding explanation of why she’s on top of the world as if she was the one who passed the bar.

“Best, TOP 5!?! You’re a bar top-notcher!” She wiggled her body from side to side in excitement. “Why are you not happy?” She asked confusedly when she saw my composed expression. 

We suddenly heard my mom giggling below the stairs and said, “As if you don’t know how cold and serious she is most of the time,” She waited for us to come down and uttered, “Congratulations, Azah!" She hugged and looked at me proudly.

“Thanks, mom! And my dear best friend, thank you!” I mumbled nonchalantly.

“Goodness! Is that the best way to express joy?” She furrowed her brows and pouted her mouth. 

Poor Bella, I hugged her instead of explaining. 

“Come, let’s have breakfast,” My mom said while she led us to the dining area. 

We reached the diner and saw my cool dad and my brother, Ezekiel, having their breakfast. Joy was etched on their faces. They also knew the result of the exam as advertised in the newspapers in their hands. Despite the internet being the source of information these days, my dad still preferred the printed ones he subscribed to daily from two different publications delivered before the sun rises. 

Even if I have my own condo unit, I spend my vacation time with my parents. Next week, I had to move out and live alone again. I'd be back to single living when I start working.

“Congratulations...Honey!...Sis,” they chorused to greet me. They stood up and hugged me tightly. 

“Thank you, dad and brother, dear!” I said. I grabbed the chair and sat on it next to my refined gentleman brother.

In our family, it was only my mom who was a more expressive personality. My brother and I took after our dad—silent, cold, and with a tough exterior, but with a chiffon heart --soft as a sponge.

“So what’s next? What company will you join?” My dad asked. I knew he was proud of me and excited inside, just like when I graduated Magnacumlaude in college, but his expression remained his normal--mild and serene.

“A bar top-notch can choose the best employer in town!” My brother mumbled. He’s an engineer. He also graduated with honors five years ago. He was still single but had a girlfriend. In a few years, maybe he might settle down.

“Well, I applied to two law firms, and I think it’s positive. However, Dimitri’s company offered me a good package and sound career mapping. I had the panel interview yesterday with their legal team and the HR,” I disclosed without any excitement.

“Oh! Are you and Dimitri an item now?” My brother asked. 

I shot him a sharp glance. I feel he was voting for Dimitri, which I was so surprised about. Then I replied. “No, we are not! It’s just a platonic and casual relationship. Like a friend or associate,” Yes, we were regularly going out, but it was too soon to tell. I chose to evade any direct confrontation regarding our feelings for each other.

“You’ve been going out for a while,” Ezekiel asked. I know he wasn’t nosey. He just liked Dimitri, for whatever reason.

“Yeah! But, you know why, right? We both need to heal,” I answered disinterestedly.

“Heal?! I guess he's interested in you from the start. Any hot-blooded man, especially his caliber, won't be interested in a platonic relationship,” Ezekiel said bluntly. I guess in our family. There was no such thing as a secret. We could discuss any topic openly. 

“I second that,” Bella inserted. Smiling cheekily.

“There’s nothing to tell. Why do I feel that everyone wanted me to move on as soon as possible?” I asked confusedly. I had this feeling for a long time that people wanted me to find a replacement for Nimuel as soon as possible, which was absurd. Those encouragements didn’t only come from my friends and family but even from Nimuel’s side.

What’s odd? —He wasn’t just a boyfriend but my supposed groom. How could they expect I’d forget him so easily?

“We are just concerned, Azah. You're young and attractive, and Dimitri was right. What happened to Nimuel should not be a piece of baggage that you’ll carry for the rest of your life. You deserve to be happy, Azah, but no pressure, whenever your heart is ready, then find the right person,” my father said. He wasn’t the type to meddle with his children’s affairs. In fact, we were raised with a liberal mind. 

Whenever my father talks, we listen because it wasn’t normal to hear him join a trivial conversation. Was he also worried about me that much that he wasn’t his usual self?

I shook my head repeatedly.

“Listen, everyone...and I thank you, dad. I know everyone was worried sick about me, but really, there is nothing to worry about. I have accepted Nimuel’s loss. I will heal in due time,” I said coldly. 

“We are hoping you really can, sister.” Ezekiel extended his hand to reach mine, and he gently pressed it. 

“Thank you, brother, but I have a career to think about at the moment. I will focus on it first.” I flipped my hand and pressed it, reassuring him. 

Ezekiel nodded when I smiled at him meaningfully. 

“Are you accepting the offer from Dimitri?” Bella asked interestedly, which brought back the topic to Dimitri. I wish I could seal the lips of my dearest friend.

I sighed deeply and then said...

“I still have a week to study my options,” I replied calmly.

I needed a rest before starting a demanding career; therefore, when asked by the HR heads for my preferred date to start my employment, I answered in two weeks. I also timed it after the announcement of the BAR RESULT. I was confident I’d pass; however, the top 5 spot was a pleasant surprise. It further increases my chances of employment. I was sure by Monday, the two law firms would call me.

The offer from Dimitri came as a surprise too. I wasn’t expecting them to offer such a lucrative package for their lawyers, car plan, housing allowance, incentives, signing bonus, and other fringe benefits. Dimitri was right, they have an excellent package, and it wasn’t just offered for me. The lawyers themselves disclosed this; therefore, I was assured of no manipulation on the part of Dimitri. It was their standard package. 

Most of all, I like their career mapping. In three years, their lawyers would be assured of either a good position here or abroad. His company offer was hard to refuse. 

But deep inside me, I wouldn’t want to be associated with his company. Dimitri was like a dark force that was pulling me in his direction. He made me remember and forget Nimuel at the same time. It increased my confusion. 

Dimitri has everything a woman would want in a man, but I wasn’t ready for him.  When would I be ready to enter into another relationship again? I would let time and the right person dictate that, and I doubt if the right person for me would be Dimitri. A playboy like him could hurt me, and I don’t think my heart could stand another loss.