Mixed Feelings
Thirty-Six: Ilaria
Laying here on top of Tony while he snores deeply makes me feel safe if not unsettled about what just happened between us. The way he acted tells me a lot about him. The hesitant caresses. Like he wanted to touch me so badly but didn’t know if he should. The only conclusion I can come up with is I’m the first woman he has actually chosen to touch, to make love to. Because honestly, it wasn’t just s*x. At least not for me. I don’t do one-night stands or friends with benefits, anything like that is a no go for me.
I don’t understand what it is about him. Why do I feel so conflicted when I’m around him. I have never felt the way I do with anyone else, not even my past relationships. I haven’t had many, only three if you want specifics. I had only had two
