A Lone Alpha?

Chapter 11 -ROMAN

My bags were all packed, Dad said I was to leave pack without a fuss. I heard some upcoming Alphas have parties to celebrate their entry to Alpha camp. Not my Dad. He saw this as a right of passage. Everything had been like any other day on the run up to me going. Other than the occasional comment about what he expected of me whilst there:

“You show them what us Carter Alpha’s are made of son”……..

“Prove to them Blood Shadow Pack is one to be feared, son……”

“Whatever training they give you, you do twice as much, you show them how strong you are, son…..”

“Don’t let me down son…….”

“Be the strong Alpha you are meant to be, son…..”

Plus the many tales of his time in Alpha camp, he had been the highest level he could be whilst there. Everyone looked up to him. Much like they still did. I had a lot to live up to. I had already been in the gym in preparation, as well as the regular training session we have in pack, but I knew what awaited me would be so much more intense. This was designed solely for an Alpha.

An Alpha is one with additional strength and power, an aura of dominance and masculinity. We were gifted with an inner strength that most wolves would not have, to enable us to run and support our pack. The Alpha training would enhance all our skills. Especially our strength. Make us stronger, prepare us to take over the role of our fathers when the time would come for us to become the Alpha we were born to be.

“Come on son, I am not waiting all day and you are not going to be showing up late.” I hear my father yell from downstairs.

I take one last look around my bedroom - dark walls, filled with shelves of sports trophies from the many sports teams I had been a part of in high school, many pictures of me and my friends on our multiple nights out, and a few from when we were younger too, a couple of pictures of me and my Dad too. Other than that, the room could be anyone’s. A simple bed, furniture, tv and games console and a sofa and gaming chair.

I headed down the stairs before my Dad carried on yelling at me about giving a bad impression of myself if I arrived late on the first day. It was unlikely when we were setting off with plenty of time to spare. But still I had to entertain what he said just to keep him happy. Clearly important to him what everyone thinks. Clearly important we are considered a strong and dominant pack. It is my role to carry that on.

“Already thrown your bags in the trunk son, so we are good to go” my Dad tells me as I step off the bottom step.

I nod in his direction, acknowledging what he has said, not sure what else to say. I follow him to the door. Can’t believe I am not going to see my home, my pack for three months!

The sun is shining outside, a nice early summer day - training is going to be a bastard in this heat! I find myself thinking.

My Dad climbed into the driver's seat, so I follow his actions and climb into the passenger seat. I don’t know why, I had kind of thought he would perhaps give me a hug before we left. That is why I had waited initially - as I knew he wouldn’t do it at the training camp. But then a hug is not my Dad at all, I guess. But this is a big moment. Ah well, I should have known better……..

We pull out of the driveway “Hope you are ready to give your all son” my Dad tells me.

I want to roll my eyes but I daren’t in case he sees me. He may be my Dad, but he is my Alpha, and I am expected to show him respect. I just do not need him on my case again. Adding more pressure to me.

As we drive down our cul-de -sac I notice Eli and Alfie stood at the end of Eli’s driveway. They waved to me as we drive past.

I smile, feeling touched at the fact they wanted to say bye.

“What are them sissys doing here?” my Dad says shaking his head.

See you later bro, good luck with it all. Alfie mindlinks me as we approach the end of the road.

See ya Dude. Remember you are you, not your Dad. Do you. You will do amazing. We got faith in you bro. Eli links me too.

My friends made me smile. And what Eli said touched a nerve, as everything he said was true. Maybe that was how I should look at it.

Cheers guys. Will message when I can. I link them both back as we continue to drive through the streets of pack, heading toward the main gates that will mean we are leaving our pack lands.

“You ignoring me?” my Dad asked.

“No” I said “I was linking them to say bye.” I tell him.

My Dad shakes his head. “I said no fuss.” He tells me.

Wow, my two friends stood at the end of a driveway was hardly a f*****g fuss was it?! Not like I had the whole pack out to say goodbye!

“They only came to wave Dad” I say.

“Hmmm well, no more distractions son. You need to be focused. This training will make you. It made me who I am. You will be stronger than me, I just know it” he tells me.

Great, the Alpha training camp is a two-hour drive away. I have two hours of listening to him lecturing me…….

“I will do my best Dad” I tell him, looking out of the window as we drive out of the pack gates, knowing it would be the last of the pack that I would see for the next three months.

“No son, you will try more than your best, and then you push past your best” he tells me.

Seriously? Surely your best is your best? How can I do more than that? Any normal person would be happy with your best. But my Dad? Oh no, he wanted my best and more……

I simply nod, knowing it is better than to disagree with my Dad. I have learnt over the years.

I look out of the window, last time I had driven along here was when me and the guys had gone to the hotel a few days ago. Seems a lifetime ago now! Had been so busy the last few days sorting paperwork for the Alpha training camp, packing for camp, helping my Dad around pack, training for camp…….

Thinking of the weekend made me think of Maya. I wonder what she was doing? I wonder if she is ok? I know I will have hurt her doing what I did, but it is for the best. She was beautiful though. Those chocolate brown eyes - the way they twinkled when she laughed! The headful of black curls - how they had looked laid out around her head when she was laid beneath me - like a halo! Not that we had been particularly innocent or angelic that night. I had taken that innocence away from her…

She had to know I cared though, surely? She had to have felt that, right? I wanted her with every inch of my being. I had to fight such a battle with my wolf not to mark her. She was my mate. But I was not allowed her. It broke me walking away from her. Knowing I would be hurting her. Knowing she would be out there hurting because of me. Knowing I would never see her again.

“You need to be focused, son. No time for daydreaming and being distracted. What have I told you? To be a strong Alpha, you need to be focused. Distractions are a weakness. Weakness puts you and your pack at risk” he tells me.

He is right. Thinking of her was distracting me. He had always been right then. A mate was a distraction. A distraction becomes a weakness. A point of weakness puts me at risk - if I am at risk, my pack is at risk. That means I am failing as an Alpha. I am a stronger Alpha if I am alone. If I am alone I will have no distractions!