Memoirs of a Life Well Wasted

Prologue

Dear reader,

I hope this finds you w—

Never mind, I take that back; I hope this doesn't find you at all. I don't really have to be nice to you. After all, I don't know you. I don't owe you anything. All I have to do here is tell the truth. Honestly, I'm a pretty secretive person... Well, maybe solitary is a better word. And yet, here I am, about to tell you everything. But, Doc says it'll be good for me and as much as I hate to admit it, she's usually right. Guess that's why I pay her the big bucks. (That's a joke, by the way. My insurance pays her the big bucks; I pay $20 a session. God bless my parents' insurance ... I wonder if she wants me to write all this.)

Anyway, guess I should introduce myself. I'm Nicole. Actually; that's a lie, but just go with it. If I'm going to tell every single truth about my life — something I've never done — then I've gotta keep a few secrets. Don't worry, the only thing I'm hiding is some identities, locations, and a couple dates here and there. I need to keep the people I love safe from scrutiny. Unfortunately, that also means changing the identities of those who've treated me badly as well. I'm halfway considering leaving their names as is, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

The truth, though. That's why we're here. I have to tell it, and I guess you want to know it. Why else would you still be reading? I guess I'll start with one: I've never told anyone the whole truth about my life. I suppose when you think about it, most people haven't, but I'm particularly bad about it. I don't really do it maliciously or to gain anything, I just figure if I never tell people everything, then they can't get to close to me. Like I said earlier, I'm a pretty solitary person. That's not to say I don't have friends, I just don't talk to them as often as I should. That's something else I have to work on.

Oh, one more thing before you move on: my life's story isn't an easy one to stomach. That's probably why I'm so messed up, but I figured I should warn you ahead of time. In the pursuit of honesty, I have to be transparent. Doc says that's the only way I can move forward from all this. So, here goes. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

So help me God.