Chapter 5: Deep Space Sparkle
249 Words
Chapter 5: Deep Space SparkleDear Bump,
When I opened my eyes this morning, I said a prayer.
Yes, I stared at Nick’s peaceful face on the pillow and prayed. I could feel a presence, an all-consuming presence, right there in the room with us. It was a kind and benevolent energy. The sun was on Nick’s white-blond hair and I watched him though the blur of my tears. I’d stopped believing in God years ago, but when I was in a coma, something happened to me. Something attached itself to my soul. I can’t tell Nick about it. He’d think…
He’d think I’m losing it. And maybe I am. I don’t know.
When I paint, that presence, that spiritual guide, is always there with me. The moment my brush touches the canvas, the second a color stains it, I know I’m not alone in my soul. There’s something there that wasn’t there before.
I almost died, they say. Life has become so vivid and bursting with beauty, that I sometimes can’t take it. It feels like a light is piercing me. I’ve been reading Avila’s Interior castle, and she writes about the seven crystal palaces inside our soul. I wonder where I get lost when I pray.
This morning, when I was staring at Nick, I cried because I could see that his, is the purest of souls I’ve ever been graced to know.
These are the thoughts have these days, Bump.
Midlife crisis? Catholic guilt creeping up? Mental breakdown? Too much imagination?
Maybe a little of everything.
- Writer
