The Twelve Days of Christmas

Chapter 28

When we got back to the palace, Ben took the car around the back to a spot I hadn’t seen before. It seemed like he was trying to sneak us in, but it made sense. He was coming back with two bodies more than he was supposed to have. The last thing I wanted was Ben getting in trouble.

He opened the car door for me and the first thing I saw was Alex. Standing at the door, holding it open for us. I didn’t stick around and headed straight towards him. Not because it was him, but despite it being him. Just as I got level with him, he barred my way.

“That’s my good girl. You’re almost as much of a rebel as I am now. I’m very impressed you ventured into that tunnel. Most women wouldn’t consider it. It’s not a nice place with all the rats lurking around.”

I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t help it. The way he spoke made my stomach sparkle, but the idea of me being as irresponsible as he was felt ridiculous. “Thanks for the insult. Night.”

He grabbed my arm a little too roughly and forced me to give up on walking away. “Snowflake, please. I have no idea what I have even done to upset you.”

“You don’t have any influence over my feelings. Sorry to disappoint.” I yanked my arm and carried on walking before I changed my mind. Dylan went the opposite way to Alice and I. He was still way too sheepish, it was out of character. He gave us little more than a wave before he headed off to his assigned room.

Alice was by my side quickly. I had picked up the pace, and she had to run a little to catch up, but soon matched my speed with her long legs. “Way to go. You should have seen his face. Although…”

“Although what?”

“Are you sure you are right about him?”

“In what way? I told you what happened, and you were ready to condemn him, too.”

“I know, but that was before I saw that look in his eyes. Maybe we have overlooked something.”

“There is nothing to overlook. He’s made his position clear. His past seems to speak for itself. From what he’s told me, he’s a self-confessed party boy. He just wants a fling before he leaves the country, and I’m not up for that. I never should have entertained the idea once I found out who he is.” I spoke with conviction, but Alice had said enough to put doubt in my mind. Despite myself, I looked over my shoulder towards Alex, but he had already gone.

“OK. I’ll trust your judgement.” She might have said the words, but she wasn’t convincing in the slightest. It wasn’t that she trusted my judgement at all, but that she didn’t want to push me any further. I hadn’t realised I had been so obvious about my need for the conversation to be over. I wanted it all to be over. It was too painful to keep going over.

Ben seemed to appear beside us from nowhere. “You two will be sharing your room because we don’t have anymore available at the moment. All the contestants are meant to be in the same wing, so we are limited for space.”

“It’s fine, Ben. It won’t be the first time we’ve shared.” Alice seemed to have come around to Ben just like I had. She was a good judge of character, she always had been. Which just made me think about what she had said even more. I just stayed silent as we walked up to the room. Stewing on everything that had happened and my own doubts.

Sometimes I questioned if the real problem was me. I always had really, well for as long as I could remember. Feeling like there was something inherently wrong with me. When I was growing up and struggled to find my place, struggled to make friends, I was the common denominator. Everyone else seemed to find their people, but with the exception of Alice, I had never felt like that.

Even TJ didn’t feel like one of my people. We were close and friendly, but there was something missing. It didn’t help that I had started to feel like he had a hidden agenda for our friendship. Our last interaction had played on my mind a lot and more than ever before, the relationship didn’t feel true or real.

Maybe I was too damaged to have people.