old man willem's second chance

The rocking chair creaks amid the sound of rain on rooftops as Willem sat there rocking back and forth. Contemplating. A look of sorrow crossing his wrinkly withered face. In his hands clutched tightly was a stuffed dog small in size but in sentimental value, he treasured it more than his life. He stares at the raindrops outside his window, his gaze distant remembering a time when he was useful. A time when he was still needed. …a time when he was young His little wooden cottage was empty, pictures covered in cloths lined the tabletops. He couldn’t bear look at them. Medals symbolize honor and duty lay in hapless piles near a trashcan. They were of no worth to him, gold medals wouldn’t give him the love lost from his daughter. Medals of honor wouldn’t give him back the time he spent away from his family His hands clenched weakly gripping the arms of his rocking chair. Hands that were once firm and strong. Arms that were used to fight for his homeland and defend his family. arms that once cradled the child he loved so dearly But now… They were no more than twigs that would break at the slightest force. No longer the strong arms they once were He thinks back to his child, Amanda, such a beautiful child she was. Just like her mother, Cassandra. It felt as if it was only yesterday Willem held her in his arms tears of joy in his eyes as he rocked the little bundle of joy in his arms FLASHBACK “Dady look!“ little Amanda at age 5 said pointing at a stuffed toy puppy in a store small in size with a little bone depicting the words ‘I love you’ in a silly font. Her red hair shook in excitement as she was practically a whole powerplant of energy bouncing around. “do you like it, sweetie?” he asked pulling out his wallet “can we get him?!” she said stars in her eyes almost pleadingly. “I'm sure your mother wouldn’t mind” Willem smiled as his daughter’s smile shone brighter than the sun itself. Truly he lived for that smile, he loved to see his daughter happy and even if he’d have to fight a war to protect it he would do so gladly __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ FLASHBACK END __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ His hands clenched and his teeth grit in anger again his mind flashes to more unsavory parts of his life __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ FLASHBACK Explosions rang out and lead flew overhead as Willem ducked in the trenches his body rolling to the side due to the weakness his body felt. bloody bruised and mentally dead he laid there half-dead in the trenches. ignoring the explosions from mortar shells and orders from superiors he laid there trembling He had just gotten wind of his wife’s death a week ago and he’s been a body walking without a soul ever since boom! A mortar shell landed to his left sending him sprawling. His body ached, but more so did his heart, his eyes started to dim as his senses stopped working momentarily and all that was left was him and the bloody wall he was staring into. A flash of silver caught his eye. A locket. “Amanda…” he croaked out barely through his raspy throat ‘What good father leaves his daughter alone to fend for herself’ he thought as another mortar shell exploded nearby “no“ he whispered his hands clenching the locket with the picture of his baby girl tightly against his chest. Ignoring the searing pain as he began to stand back up “no!!!” he shouted staggering up and drawing his combat knife out He’d return to her alive. He’d be there to support her. He’d come back to her. Even if it meant he was gonna kill a whole army with his bare hands “AMANDA!!!!” he shouted a warcry as he charged the enemy trenches __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ FLASHBACK END ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Willem felt a lone tear go down his cheek. He made no move to wipe at it, as he continued to stare at the rain. feeling as though the rain were the tears he wanted to shed. His lips opened “I’m- __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ FLASHBACK __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ “-Sorry,” he said his wrinkly hands trembling the shattered remains of a vase at his feet “what do you mean sorry?” his daughter had said a growing malice in her voice “does saying sorry fix the vase? Does sorry bring mom back?” her voice started to grow in volume “Does sorry forgive you for leaving me alone to fend for myself ever since I was 7?!” she screamed at him her words embedding themselves like knives in Willem's chest Willem’s head slumped in sorrow tears threatening to pour out of his eyes. But he would not let it happen. He would not show his daughter his weakness. He wanted her to learn from this to be strong even if it hurt him so “just go back to your rocking chair you stupid senile old man” she huffed __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ FLASHBACK END __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The tears started to stream out uncontrollably. If only saying sorry erased the pain of the past. he would’ve said it a million times if it meant she would forgive him and give him one last chance at redemption. “all i wanted was-” __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Flashback __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ “-to make you happy” he had said handing her a letter incased in a beautiful envelop with a floral design a letter he had spent an hour writting. He had spent at least a week’s worth of time on the drawing alone, just for her He had been so excited to give her this letter, and called her over once it was finished. Blood sweat and tears littered the letter. Every word, every line and every minute of making it had been like pouring his soul into the paper, giving it all the words he could never say, all the words he wanted to say and all feelings he wanted her to know he felt. “make me happy?” she asked her voice low and mocking “I already am happy. I’ve been happy for 20 years without you” she said her voice still calm though her eyes held a burning hatred “you know what would make me happy?!” she hissed venomusly “if you would just dissapear again like you did when i was seven and never return!” she said standing up And right before his eyes she began to rip the letter to shreds He felt parts of his soul break with each time she ripped at the paper And by the end of it there was barely anything there and she was already leaving through the door, slamming it angrily as she exited She didn’t even bother to look at the face of her father that had tears brimming at their edges and was hugging the remnants of the letter to his chest hoping to feel the love he had poured over te course of writing it _______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Flashback end __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ He was mad. Not at his daughter, he could never hate her. He was mad at himself “I’m sorry I’m useless!!!” In his fit of rage, he threw the stuffed toy into the kitchen “it wasn’t my fault!!!” he shouted collapsing out of his chair and onto the ground “It wasn’t my fault…“ he whispered as he began to sob Such was the cruel reality that was old age with a lot of regrets and all the demons of his past that still haunt him A body that was so weak and useless. A past riddled with mistakes. A daughter that wouldn’t forgive him A ghost of his wife cursing his name With those inner demons, he cried himself to sleep as the thunder roared outside like the heavens themselves were blaming him and him alone for the mistakes he had no way of avoiding He woke to a room with black smoke his senses warning him, screaming at him to run outside. And avoid the source of the smoke. In his panic to get out of bed fell out of bed with a thump bruising his left leg in the process With too much pain in his leg, slowly he made his way out of his bedroom with a crawl. Careful not to damage his already damaged leg When his body reached the livingroom the fire that he suspected to have started from his kitchen had turned his whole livingroom into an inferno. The fire setting ablaze to all he owned from the ground up Willem started to crawl for the door when he remembered. The only thing of worth to him anymore ever since he’d gone senile and old… Amanda’s stuffed puppy “no that shouldn’t matter now!” he told himself stubbornly forcing himself out closer to the door but before he reached it he turned back suddenly facing the kitchen Instead of the stuffed puppy, he saw Amanda as a five-year-old clutching the stuffed animal for comfort. her face screamed of fear and tears were streaming out of her eyes “Daddy I’m scared!” she called to him her voice ever so fragile and scarred and it tore willem’s heart to pieces to think that he’d caused this. In spite of himself, Willem pulled himself up completely disregarding the searing pain in his left leg and threw himself to Amanda “don’t worry sweetie, daddy's here. He always will be” he said clutching the stuffed animal crying tears of joy “I love you dad“ Then everything went black for old man Willem _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Somewhere in the heavenly bodies __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ “hey fel whatcha doing?” the god of the stars asked a petite redhead who was staring intently at a scrying globe He expected his fellow god to threaten him to get out of her territory but he didn’t care after all… Anrodight wasn’t the brightest god there is *Sniff sniff* “are you… crying?!” he asked in shock Fel had always kept an air of confidence around her as her title of god of the life cycle deems it of her most of the time when judging the mortal souls “Why do people have to suffer so much?” she stifled out through a sob Androdight finally understood Watching the life cycle of a mortal could be taxing but it is a needed job to know whether they deserve to be reincarnated as a human again or as a fly as punishment “was the mortal a good one?” he asked gently almost comfortingly “no…” the goddess of the life cycle stifled through a sob “he has killed many” “Then why-“ “for the sake of his daughter”, she cut him off silencing androdight as he stared at her knowingly “who hated him for leaving when she was a child and returning as a useless adult” by the time she said it she’d already started to tear up again Androdight hugged her. “but still…” she continued a hic in her voice “he kept praying for his daughter’s safety and happiness despite that” “you want to give him to the god of the old world don’t you?” he asked as he rubbed at her back comfortingly “they'll never allow it!” Fel cried knowing full well the council of gods wouldn’t approve of such a thing as taking a mortal from earth and planting him in Panetea with his memories “I will vouch for you” androdight stated firmly “the council owes me one to many favors” he smiled slyly trying to comfort the goddess of the life cycle “thank you androdight, thank you” she whispered Line break And that was when Willem opened his eyes to a blue sky