Harmonious Love (Art Of Love Series Book One)

Chapter Two

"Ma'am Amethyst, handa na ho ang agahan ninyo." Sabi ni Manang Beth habang kumakatok sa pinto ng kwarto ko.

"Yes po manang!" I answered and prepared myself para bumaba.

Kanina pa ako gising, sa katunayan, hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos kagabi. I was thinking about my make out session with Blake yesterday. Just the thought of it makes me feel embarrassed and shy. I did not know that he could kiss like that. He was always gentle when it comes to me. That Blake yesterday is five times hotter.

Naputol ang lahat ng iniisip ko nang may kumatok sa pintuan ng kwarto ko.

"Ma'am Amethyst, si Sir Blake ho nasa labas na hinihintay kayo." Sabi ni Manang Beth, ang kasambahay namin.

Si manang Beth lang ang kaisa-isang kasambahay na nagtatrabaho sa bahay, dahil siya lang rin ang pinagkakatiwalaan ni Dad sa lahat ng mga naging kasambahay namin. Masyadong maingat si Dad pagdating sa mga pinapapasok niya sa bahay, ayaw niya na maulit muli ang insidente noon kung saan may mga nagnakaw ng files mula sa office niya. 

Pumayag naman si Mama na kahit si Manang Beth na lang ang matirang kasambahay dahil gusto ni Mama na siya ang nagluluto ng pagkain at nag aayos ng mga gamit ko at ni Dad. 

"Tell him to give me 10 minutes! Thank you manang!" pasigaw na tugon ko nang mapansin ko ang oras, I only have few minutes to prepare! Wala na akong oras na mag ayos pa ng buhok, okay na rin 'yun dahil baka guluhin lang ulit ni Blake. 

My hands feel sweaty. Bakit ba ako kinakabahan na makita siya?

Binilisan ko ang pag aayos at nagsuot na lamang ng simpleng high-waisted black jeans at white polo crop-top. Since day 2 pa lang ng orientation namin ay allowed pa ang mga casual clothes, but when the class starts, all students must wear their uniforms. Iisa lang ang uniform design sa lahat ng courses.

Girls will have black plain skirt and a white long sleeve polo with a black necktie while the boys will have black slacks and white long sleeve polo with a black necktie. Of course the university logo is embroidered in the polo, the blue phoenix.

"Manang, alis na po ako." sabi ko kay manang at mabilis na naglakad papunta sa pinto.

"Ang agahan niyo ho, ma'am?" tanong ni manang habang naglalagay ng tubig sa baso.

Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang pagkain sa mesa, nakakagutom ang almusal na luto ni manang. I saw pancakes, shirred egg, bacon, sinangag and apple juice. My mouth is watering for a taste but I am running late so I have to refuse it.

"Late na po ako manang, I'll just eat dinner na lang po mamaya." I said smiling and wave goodbye.

I saw Blake beside his car. He is wearing a white shirt paired with a black trench coat, black jeans and black shoes. He looks dashing, such a head turner.

I was about to wave my hand at him but I saw how occupied his mind is. Nakatingin lang siya sa malayo at nakatulala.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at hindi niya man lang napansin ang pagdating ko kaya tinapik ko ang balikat niya.

Napaigtad siya sa gulat pero ngumiti ng makita niya ako. Something is off, his smile didn't reached his eyes. His eyes are full of mixed emotions right now. I can see sadness, confusion, and pain.

Gusto ko sanang itanong kung bakit siya malungkot. Pero knowing Blake, he would always say that he is fine and everything is alright. Kaya naman mas pinili ko na lang na hindi magtanong, all I can do is to stay with him and make him happy. I want him to become more open to me but I don't want to force it. I will just wait when he is ready to tell me everything.

"Good morning baby" he said while still wearing that sad smile on his face. Ito ang ikalawang pagkakataon na nakita ko siyang ganito kalungkot, the first time was when his brothers died.

"Good morning too, matagal ka bang naghintay? I'm sorry, late ako nagising." I said while hugging him. I don't want to tell him na I did not had a good sleep. Ayoko na dagdagan pa ang iniisip niya.

"Hindi naman, halos kararating ko lang. Let's go?" He said and held my hand.

I nodded and smiled at him. "Let's go!" He opened the door of his car for me. May sarili siyang driver habang nakasunod ang mga bodyguards niya sa amin na nasa ibang sasakyan.

We arrived at exactly 7:20, 10 minutes before the orientation started.

Humarap ako kay Blake at nakita ko na naman na tulala siya. Kaya naman kinuha ko ang atensyon niya.

"Blake."

Tumingin siya sa akin at pinakatitigang mabuti ang mukha ko. "I love you." I said and smiled at him. That's all I can say, I want to remind him over and over again that he have me who loves him dearly.

I saw pain cross his eyes. "Mahal na mahal kita.." He said as he caressed my cheeks gently.

I touched both of his cheeks and pinched them lightly. "Whatever it is that's bothering you, I know that you can surpass them all. Ikaw pa ba?" I said, trying to cheer him up.

Mukhang effective naman dahil nakita ko na napangiti siya. "Stop it, baby." He said while smiling.

I teased him more. "Come on, say it."

Maarte niyang pinagpagan ang balikat niya at sinabing, "Ako lang 'to."

I laughed at him. "Oo, ikaw 'yan kaya sigurado ako na kayang kaya mo."

His expression softened. "Thank you, baby."

"For what?" I asked. He doesn't need to thank me for doing the things I should do as his lover. He deserves so much more. 

"Thank you for existing. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for staying. I am happy that I met you." Sabi niya habang matiim na nakatitig sa mukha ko, na parang kinakabisa niya ito, na parang maglalaho ako anumang oras.

It is very unusual for him to say things like that but I didn't want to mind that fact. "I am more than happy to be here with you." I just said and smiled at him.

Pinakatitigan niya pa ako bago tuluyang tumango, "I know, but we have to go now. Late na tayo." He said while laughing. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

His laugh sounded so.. fake.

He is making me feel worried sick. Alam mo yung feeling na kapag malungkot yung taong mahal mo pero wala kang magawa? It is frustrating, it makes me feel useless.

Lumabas ako sa kotse ni Blake at naglakad papunta sa classroom ko. Nang makapasok ako ay puno na ang room, halos dalawang minuto na lang ang natitira bago ang start ng orientation.

Umupo na ako sa seat ko at kasunod niyon ang pagpasok ng school president.

"Day 2 of orientation will begin shortly, you will meet your professors in your respective subjects. Participate actively." he said and left. May galit ba siya sa mundo? He is always frowning.

I want to leave the room but I'm sure Blake is not in the great mood to hang out with me at the moment. Kaya naman pinili ko na lang na manatili at makinig sa mga professors namin habang pinapaliwanag nila ang syllabus ng bawat subjects.

Mabilis lang natapos ang orientation and the students are now free to go home. Lumabas na ako ng room at nag send ng message kay Blake.

Blake, orientation is over. Where are you?

Lumipas ang sampung minuto bago ako makatanggap ng reply ni Blake.

I'm sorry, I can't take you home today.

That's it? He won't even tell me why? I am not mad because he can't take me home, I can go home by myself. What's making me mad is that he is not fine, but he won't tell me anything.

Instead of getting mad at him, I tried to understand him. Being angry won't do us any good.

It's okay, just take care.

After I sent that, I called our family's personal driver and he arrived in just a few minutes.

I spent my time watching some live dance performances and fell asleep.

No message from Blake till morning. He did not pick me up as well, which is very unusual of him. Gusto niya na palaging siya ang naghahatid sa akin sa school o kahit saan man ako magpunta. He always stick beside me almost all of the time.

I tried calling him but he is not answering.

Imbes na pumasok sa school ay nagpasya na lamang ako na pumunta sa dance studio ko. It is a gift from my parents for my 20th birthday.

It is the last day of orientation kaya it will be in someplace crowded and I am not in the mood for that.

I wore my red backless dress and fixed my hair into a messy bun and put my red high heels on. I usually feel confident and comfortable wearing dresses while dancing and practicing.

After I arrived at the studio, nagsimula na akong sumayaw ng sumayaw. I danced till I'm out of breath. Dancing can calm me and it makes me feel and think less.

I was dancing from morning till afternoon, huminto lang ako ng makaramdam ako ng gutom at pagod.

Pinaghanda ako ni manang kanina bago ako umalis ng pancakes and cookies, favorite ko.

Naexcite ako na kumain kaya naman agad akong nag ayos ng sarili at naghanda na para kumain nang makatanggap ako ng message galing kay Blake.

Can you come to my condo if you're not busy?

I smiled when I received his message. Okay na kaya siya? God knows how much I missed Blake. Pero bakit siya nasa condo niya? Tuwing nagkikita kami ay parating sa bahay nila dahil delikado kung sa condo niya siya mananatili dahil hindi gaanong mahigpit ang security at kaunti ang guards na mayroon doon.

Iwinaksi ko na lamang ang aking iniisip at mabilis na naghilamos. Wala akong dalang pamalit na damit kaya inayos ko na lamang ang aking dress na suot at itinali ng maayos ang buhok. Naglagay na din ako ng kaunting lipstick, so that I won't look pale.

Nagreply ako kay Blake na pupunta ako at mabilis na nagpahatid sa lugar ni Blake.

Ramdam ko pa rin ang gutom pero sabay na lang kaming kakain ni Blake since he like manang's pancakes as well.

Nang makarating ako sa condo ni Blake, madali akong nakapasok dahil kilala ako ng mga tao dito. Hindi kasi papapasukin ang mga unauthorized person lalo na malapit sa floor ni Blake.

Pumasok ako sa elevator at pinindot ang floor number kung saan naroon si Blake.

Alam ko ang passcode ng condo niya kaya naman agad akong nakapasok.

Pagpasok ko ay bumalot ang madilim na kapaligiran sa aking mga mata. Kaya naman binuksan ko ang ilaw sa sala ni Blake at mabilis na nagtungo sa kusina niya at inilapag doon ang mga pagkain na dala ko.

Wala si Blake sa sala at sa kusina kaya siguradong nasa kwarto siya.

Naglakad ako patungo sa kwarto ni Blake nang mapansin ko ang mga damit na nakakalat sa sahig.

I saw Blake's shirt and pants, and I saw women's clothes too.

I was fighting the urge to think negative things. I know Blake would never hurt me. He would never cheat on me. He loves me.

Nang makarating ako sa tapat ng kwarto ni Blake ay nanginginig ang kamay na binuksan ko ang pinto.

I felt like cold water was poured all over my body, I froze at the sight I am seeing right now.

Blake with an unfamiliar woman, naked, sleeping peacefully while snuggling each other.

Kung ibang tao lang ako, I would think that they are madly in love.

Para akong mababaliw dahil sa mga emosyon na nararamdaman ko ngayon. I am mad, confused and hurt.

Napaupo ako sa sahig nang maramdaman ko ang panlalambot ng mga tuhod ko. I felt betrayed, big time.

Andaming tanong na gumugulo sa isip ko. Pero nawala lahat ng iyon ng marinig ko ang boses ng lalaking dahilan ng sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"You're here." sabi niya na para bang wala siyang ginawang masama. Na parang inaasahan niya na makita ko sila.

Pagak akong tumawa at itinago ang sakit sa mga mata ko, I need to be strong in front of him, kasi kung hindi, ako ang talo. Kami ang talo.

I want to save this relationship, mahal ko siya. Siguro may dahilan siya o paliwanag sa kung ano man ang nakita ko ngayon.

"Yes, and we need to talk." I said, stood up, and looked at him emotionless.

Nauna na akong lumabas sa kwarto niya at nagtungo sa sala, umupo ako sa sofa at hinintay siya.

Nang makarating siya ay nakasuot na ito ng puting shirt at boxer shorts. Umupo ito sa sofa na katapat ng sofa na inuupuan ko. So he doesn't want to be near me now, that thought made my heart feel more pain.

I waited for him to talk.

"Mind explaining yourself?" I asked first, because the way I see it, he has no intention of talking first.

"You saw what you saw, Amethyst." he casually said without looking at me.

He called me by my name. Since we started dating, he never called me by my name.

"That's all? Hindi mo man lang ipapaliwanag kung ano yung nakita ko?" I said, trying to hold my emotions.

"I am breaking up with you. Explaining what you saw would be useless."

I panicked at what he just said. He's breaking up with me? Just like that?

"Ganun lang ba kadali sayo na itapon lahat? We've been together for 2 years. At least tell me why you are doing this to me. Mahal na mahal kita Blake. I didn't do anything wrong to deserve this." I said, still stopping my tears from falling.

Blake does not seem to care about what I just said. Instead, he looks bored.

"Amethyst, 2 years is enough. Sinayang ko na yung dalawang taon ng buhay ko sayo. Pwede, tama na?" he said as he rested his head on the couch, eyes shut like he was about to sleep.

Sinayang? Sa dalawang taon na magkasama kami ay hindi niya kailanman sinabi na nasasayang ang araw niya kapag magkasama kami. Naalala ko pa kung paano niya ako pinaglaban sa ama niya noong mga panahong tutol siya relasyon naming dalawa. Kaya paano ako maniniwala na sinayang niya lang ang dalawang taon ng buhay niya sa akin?

Talaga ba na iyon ang nararamdaman niya para sa akin? Hindi lamang ba niya sinabi na ayaw niya sa akin dahil ayaw niya akong saktan noon?

"Hindi ako naniniwala. I need reasons, Blake. You can't fool me with your lies." Iyon na lamang ang nasabi ko habang pilit na pinapatatag ang loob ko.

Huminga siya ng malalim at tumingin sa mga mata ko, nakita ko ang pamumula ng mga mata niya. Is he crying? Why would he? Maybe because he is tired and sleepy.

"You want reasons?" He said as he stared deeply into my eyes. "You don't satisfy my needs, you are Amethyst, and I no longer want you in my life." He said and stood up. "You can leave now, don't ever come near me again."

I don't satisfy his needs? But he is the one who doesn't touch me in the first place. He said that he respects me a lot, that is why he never makes the first move unless the time is right. He is breaking up with me because I am me? When he told me that he loves everything about me, naisip niya ba 'yan? And how can he easily say that he does not want me anymore? He could have said that earlier, but no, we dated for 2 whole years.

Tumayo ako at buong tapang na tinanong siya. I just need an answer to this last question. I just need him to tell me. I need to know. "Did you mean everything that you just said?"

Maigi niyang tinitigan ang mga mata ko at sumagot nang walang pag aalinlangan. "I mean every bit of it."

Tumango ako at isa isang nahulog sa pisngi ko ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

I saw pain in his eyes but I think it was just my delusion.

"Did I answer all your questions? If yes, you may leave now, I'm tired." he said and turned his back on me, he started walking back to his room. Away from me.

"Hindi." May diin na sagot ko. Nakita ko na napahinto siya sa paglakad pero hindi niya ako hinarap.

"Hindi ako naniniwala sa mga sinabi mo." Sabi ko na ikinalingon niya.

"I am telling you the truth, just listen and leav-" He said, but I cut his sentence.

"Tomorrow." I said as I wiped my tears away.

I smiled bitterly when I remember how he used to hate it when he sees me cry. Pero ngayon, siya pa mismo ang nagbigay ng dahilan sa akin para umiyak.

Humarap ako sa kanya at nakita ko na nakakunot ang noo niya.

"We'll talk again tomorrow." Sabi ko habang pilit na nakangiti.

He shook his head, totally disagreeing with me. "No, I made it clear that I want to break up."

"And I made it clear that I don't believe you, I refuse to believe you." I said as I walked towards him.

He stepped back when I got too close to him.

"I am giving you a chance to change your mind." I said and tried to hold his hand.

Hindi niya iniiwas ang kamay niya ngunit hindi niya rin hinawakan pabalik ang kamay ko.

"I won't change my mind." He said with finality. Hindi na naman siya nakatingin sa akin. Ganoon na ba niya ka-ayaw sa akin kaya hindi siya tumitingin?

I nodded and let go of his hand. "Sabihin mo ulit sa akin 'yan bukas, sa ngayon hindi pa kita kayang paniwalaan." Sabi ko bago tumalikod sa kanya.

Nagsimula na namang tumulo ang mga luha ko.

This is my last resort. After this, I will settle everything even if it will hurt me even more.

Basta masaya si Blake, ayos na sa akin kahit masaktan ako sa huli.