"It kills me that I can love her this much and was stupid enough to give that up, to give her up. It s so black and white in the clear light of my brain defogging and how f*****g dumb I am. It was never about what my heart wanted; it was always about what was best for everyone else s."
"I don t want Natasha; I don t think I ever really did. I want Sophie. If I m being honest then I ve always wanted her, needed her. It s why I could never ignore the two a.m. cries for help. It s part of my soul to be there for her to fall on, to depend on, to call, and lean on. I grew up for her and became her rock, gave her that safe space to grow and heal and kept the world at bay so it didn t touch her. I created our bubble together so Sophie could thrive and feel secure, enjoy life without fea
