I struggled daily, wanting to be with Hayden and Tripp versus Davis. I wished he loved kids. I wished he wanted to be with them as much as I did. I missed the days when he hung out with my best friend-before she had the baby-and we all enjoyed each other's company.
I hated leaving Tripp. Every time I walked out the door to go see Davis or run errands-or hell, anything he didn't accompany me to-I felt as though I were leaving a part of me behind. It was irrational. He wasn't my child; I got that, but it didn't stop the feelings from brewing. I didn't share them with anyone, though. I was already aware of Davis's belief that I had an unhealthy relationship with Cash, and I didn't want Hayden to think I was a freak.
Instead, I kissed him goodbye and squeezed him one last time before relea
