Jamie is the one to end it. He calls me the following week, much later than usual, so I know there is something on his mind. It takes a little bit of small talk to coax it out of him, but he finally admits it: he doesn't want me anymore.
The first thing that comes to mind is relief, followed by panic. I knew it was coming, that long distance wasn't going to work, but I was too afraid to admit it. How do you bid farewell to two years of your life? How do you abandon something you thought you wanted? I'd spent every day with Jamie in New York, and the thought of not seeing him again makes me feel as if I can't breathe. And yet, a tiny part of me feels relief, as if a weight has been lifted from my chest. My relationship with Jamie feels like one step back, and growing closer with Jeremiah,
