Dealing With Trouble

CHAPTER 12?

Everything I enjoy has a connection to my father, no matter how hard I try not to think about him. Panic descends on me, accompanied by anguish and grief. Why does it hurt so much because this was our choice, our decision?

Olly storms in without even knocking. I'm not used to having so little privacy, but the twins don't appear to mind. Dane has already barged into the bathroom while I'm brushing my teeth, and Olly has barged into my bedroom while I'm trying to change. It's as if they have no concept of boundaries.

He takes in the color-coded binders on his desk and the stuffed unicorn Jamie won for me at a funfair. "Is this how you feel inside your head?" he wonders. "All color coded and fluffy and-" he shudders, as if unable to bear the thought any longer.

"Did you require anything?" I ask.

He grins as he sits on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I have a question for you."

"Ask me?"

"Yeah." He takes a deep breath, and his easy, confident expression is replaced by what appears to be nervousness. "I need your help with something... girl-related."

"What exactly is it?"

He runs his fingers nervously over the embroidery on my bed quilt. "Assume you were single and had been friends with a guy for a year. Is it possible for it to evolve into something more, or is it too late? What do girls think, for example?"

"You do realize I don't have a pass to speak for all girls, right?" Olly frowns slightly, and I realize he's serious. "I'm not sure. It all depends on whether she secretly likes you or not. If she does and you're both too shy to admit it, that's fine, but a year is a long time to be friends with someone. Do you want to ask her out and have it turn awkward?"

He sighs after a brief moment of reflection. "I've never had a problem like this before, you know? Girls usually make it clear that they like me by looking at me." He makes a motion to himself that makes me think he's not joking.

"I'm sure they appreciate your modesty as well."

He grins and looks down at my nightstand, taking in the flyer. "Did you really keep that?" He leaps from the bed and grabs it. "Wait." His face changes to one of surprise. "No way. Is this what you meant when you said you'd started going to the gym? Boot camp for Jeremiah Chastener?"

"You don't have to act as if you're surprised. I enjoy a good challenge."

"Hey, I'm not hating; I think it's great that you want to do this—I'm just surprised."

I grab the flyer from his grasp. "It's just something I want to experiment with, okay? But I'd like to keep this gestures to the flyer-" a secret, so don't tell my mother."

The grin on his face is priceless. "I won't. No offense, but she creeps me out."

I rush to her aid, like a lioness protecting her cubs, despite the fact that it should be the other way around. "She's not strange. She's going through a difficult divorce. Try to be compassionate."

He raises both hands as if surrendering to the cops. "I'm sorry, I was joking."

"It's fine," I say, taking a look at the time, "but it's getting late, and I still need to call Jamie."

He nods and gets up from my bed to walk to the door. "Good night, Megan."

"Night." I take out my phone and wait for him to leave. Jamie's number is the first on my call list, as if nothing has changed despite the fact that she is three thousand miles away.

"Hey," he says on the first ring. He sounds a little groggy, and I feel bad for calling him so late. "You forget about me?"

"I'm sorry. Things have been hectic."

"It's fine." He says it like he means it, which is what I love about him. He doesn't hold things against me like Dad would. He doesn't get mad. "What did you get up to today?"

Excitement courses through me. "This is going to sound a little out there, but I've joined this White Collar boot camp. It's where -"

"I know what White Collar is." The frown on his face makes me nervous. "That's a little... crazy. 1 mean, you're not really the type, you know?"

It's not exactly the reassurance I was looking for, but he's right. This is so far removed from anything I've ever done that I can't blame him for being concerned. "My dad messaged me on i********:," I admit.

He suddenly leans forward, frowning. "When did this happen? How did he even find your new account? What did he say?"

"I have no idea what happened yesterday. He simply apologized. I immediately blocked him."

"Good. Please try to forget about him. You don't need someone like that in your life, and you certainly don't need to box to prove something to him. Megan, all we need is each other."

"I'm not doing it to prove anything," I explain, "I just- just… stop, because I'm not sure why I'm doing it,1 I just know that I need to. "

It's very regulated, and you have to wear a lot of equipment. I'm going to be fine."

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "This is a significant commitment to make during your senior year. Will you even have any time for us?"

Doubt permeates my being. I knew it was a little out there, but hearing it from someone else confirms it. "Naturally, I will. I'll make Time for you. You are more valuable than anything else."

"Okay." He says it softly, but there's a look in his eyes that I'm not sure what to make of. Is he irritated? "If you want, we may have time to watch something. What are your thoughts? Horror, romance, or comedy?"

"Hmm," I think. "Wait a minute, June is a movie buff. She could be onto something."

"I'm sure we can come up with something without Jun-"but I've already sent her a message asking for suggestions. She immediately responds with ten different movies, complete with ratings and a slew of emojis. I laugh and choose Joker, which has an 8.4 rating. "We've already seen it," Jamie says.

Confounded, I search my memory for any recollection of the film, but I'm certain I've never seen it. "No, not at all."

"Oh come on," he teases, "who's the one with the better memory between the two of us? Although I believe we missed the end of it. You dozed off as usual."

He's right; I have a bad habit of falling asleep in the middle of a movie. I can't help myself when I'm snuggled up to his chest because I'm so comfortable and warm. "Then we'll go with something different."

"How about the new Marvel film?" he asks.

"We've witnessed it."

As silence falls between us, his expression softens. "I'm sure you saw it with someone else."

"With whom else would I have seen it?"

"You decide."

My mind is racing at a hundred miles per hour. I'm racking my brain again, wondering if I mistook Jamie for Dad, but I know it was Jamie because of what happened after. His parents had gone out, and I recall his hand creeping up my thigh halfway through the film...

Jamie says, "It's not a big deal. I don't mind if you watched it with another person. We have the option of selecting something different."

I'm about to say no, but I stop myself. Jamie's memory is much better than mine, so he might be correct.

We take so long to choose something that we're both exhausted by the end. "I have to get up early for practice," he explains. "Runner Bean, I adore you."

"Green Bean, I adore you." I hang up the phone and crawl into bed. I fell asleep with Jeremiah's fight from the night before still playing in my head.