At His Mercy

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**Adaline's POV**

I hate the color red. Some believe it is the color of passion and may say that red is exciting and daring. But not me. To me, red is aggression, it is evil, and angry. It's my stolen childhood and it's the color that I couldn't get off my hands no matter how hard I scrubbed. My nightshirt and pants, and even my favorite house shoes were all stained with my sin. It's messy, warm, and terrifying. Red is the color that ran down the knife and tainted my soul as it sunk into his skin, causing him to fall off my bed, off of me. Blood red is the stuff of nightmares, my nightmares.

He pulled me from the closet where I hid and guided me to my bed. His big hands wrapped around my shoulders so softly that I barely felt them. The whisper of his voice telling me to lie down, almost like he was asking, but I knew there would be trouble if I refused. My head hit the pillow, my sobs never stopping as he wiped the tears away, and brushed my hair off my shoulders so they were bare to him. How can he smile down at me like this is normal? It's not! I don't want this again!

"Please. Don't." I cried, but my pleading fell on deaf ears. He was too busy looking over my body with hungry, lustful eyes. I hated being looked at like this. Like a s*x object.

He pulled off his shirt slowly, trying to seduce me, but I didn't want this. Next came his pants, and soon he was climbing on top of me. I felt his soft kisses on my cheek and my neck as I lay there and cried. His hands caressed my body, and it made me feel so disgusting. I never intended on hurting him, but I was tired of him hurting me. I hid a knife under my pillow a few months ago, hoping one day it would never come to this, but it has. While he was sitting up, his hands reaching for my clothes, I quickly reached for the knife and plunged it into him.

We were frozen for a moment, both looking at the wound I had created. Watching as the red dripped onto my clothes and flowed down the knife towards me. I looked up and in his eyes I found pain and betrayal, but I should be the one to feel that way. He betrayed me, he hurt me. This is me protecting myself because no one else was going to do it.

With a loud thud, he fell off of me and onto the floor, howling in pain. My body reacted while my brain was still trying to piece together what had happened. Even though I just watched it all unfold, I couldn't believe what I had done to the first man I had ever loved and who I thought loved me. I grabbed what I could into a small duffel, knowing I needed to hurry. He screamed my name when I opened the window and saw my freedom in the night. Footsteps started running down the hall, but I ignored them as I climbed out carefully, and chased after a new life.

My feet kept on and on through the pain and through the cold. I didn't know where I was going to go, what I was going to do, and how I was going to survive on my own, hidden from my past, but I knew it was better than staying there and lying down and taking it. I found a public bathroom and hid inside, locking the door. Running to the mirror, I looked and saw my eyes swollen and red, hair wild from the wind, and the red on my clothes. Bile rose in my throat and I rushed to the toilet to empty everything except my pain. When I finished, I went to the sink and tried to clean the blood off my hands, but no matter how much I scrubbed, I never felt I was truly clean.

Focusing again on my plan, I changed and threw my clothes away. After swallowing back whatever fear I had, I opened the door and continued running. I had enough money saved up for a plane ticket. I will leave tonight, never stopping anywhere for too long, so he can never find me. I wish I didn't have to leave them behind, but I had to. He would never hurt them, he only hated me. Blamed me for everything. Maybe one day I can go home. Maybe they can find me. If not, I hope they know I didn't want any of this and will always love them.

Catching a cab was easy, getting a plane ticket was harder. The lady at the counter did not want to help me at first, but after some pleading and desperate eyes, she could see I was running away from someone and eventually helped. She shockingly even brought the ticket under her name, and wished me luck. After boarding, I was thankful the flight was almost empty and no one was sitting next to me or behind me. I was able to cry in peace, hiding behind my hair as I looked out the window. France was the only home I ever knew, and I would miss everything about it. Except the memories in that house.

Exhaustion took over and I fell asleep. When I awaken, it will be in a new life, in a new place, under a new persona.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. I groan as I look for the source of the annoying alarm that saved me from another nightmare. Not all bad, it reminded me of when I fought for myself, of when I escaped misery. But I still do not understand why I am having these dreams again. What do they mean and why now? After I turn off my alarm, I get up, stretch, and get ready for another day. Last week was still bothering me, my little freak out with an officer, but thankfully, I haven't seen him again. I hope to keep it that way.

Dalia was already up and pouring coffee in her to-go cup. "Mornin'!" She smiled. "I don't know if you remember, but my family is in town and I will be spending the week at their hotel. They understand I have a roommate and don't want to make you uncomfortable. I would like you to meet them, but if not, it's no biggie." Before I could get a word in she was running out the door with a wave and a 'see you later'.

A week with the apartment to myself is maybe just what I needed. Some space and privacy to figure things out and get to the bottom of the craziness jumbled in my brain. After some coffee and a light breakfast, I headed out the door just in time to see the bus rounding the corner. 'It's going to be a good day. It's going to be a good day.' I repeated over and over in my head on my way to work. When I stepped into the building, Mr. Bernard greeted me by my last name and seemed to show no resentment at my rejection. I'm so thankful I can come to work without something extra to stress about. Lord knows I had enough on my plate.

"Miss LaRue, I am happy you are here. We have a new guest and she is not taking it well at all, she is becoming quite hostile, and I would hate to have to call Sebi." Mr. Bernard walked around the front desk and whispered in a hurry.

"No. I'll see if I can calm her down. There is no need to involve him," I insisted. Mr. Sebi is our nurse that we go to when we have an impossible guest that needs to be sedated. I have seen him work before and it's scary. It's like he enjoys having power over vulnerable people. "Where is she?" I practiced my best smile for our new guest.

I headed down the hall towards intake three. We have four intake rooms, three being the one with the better view, so we use it often to put new guests at ease. When I opened the door, I was surprised to find an elderly lady sitting in the chair by the window alone. Where was her family? I can see she did not sign up for this place on her own, so who did and why would they just leave her like this?

She did not notice I had come in as she continued to mumble under her breath. "Den där otacksamma lilla skiten. Hur vågar han ta mig hit?" (That ungrateful little s**t. How dare he bring me here?) She yelled at the window and scoffed. I saw where she was looking and watched as a black car drove away. "Du överger inte familjen." (You don't abandon family.)

I knocked on the door to make myself known. She turned her head and then quickly turned away. She started yelling in a language I didn't understand and flaring her arms around her. For someone so small, she looked to be a force of nature. I would hate to be on her bad side, and whoever just dropped her off was definitely going to regret it. I walked in a little more and closed the door. Even though I could see all her anger, I knew it had to be from a place of pain. She wasn't the first that has been brought here against their wishes, and sadly, she will probably not be the last. Though most patients need to be here for the proper care, I do not agree with them being abandoned, hardly being visited or even called to check on their well being. This lady, however, looked like she was okay but I am no doctor. There could possibly be underlying issues.

I sat in the chair across from her and she continued to talk in another language, while never looking at me. "My name is Adaline. I am one of the caregivers here." She scoffed and continued to mumble more that I could not understand. I reached for her file on the small table to my left and opened it. "Mrs. Maye Hellström. Born and raised in Sweden, you came to the states fifteen years ago with your family. I know what it is like being away from home, I'm from France."

She turned her head and stared for a moment. "Quelle partie de la France ?" (What part of France?) It had been so long that I had spoken French, and it was a bittersweet thing. Beautiful, but a pinch of salt in my wounds.

"Dinan," I answered. "Tu parles français? Je n'ai pas parlé français depuis près de douze ans." (You speak french? I have not spoken French in almost twelve years.)

"I learned when I stayed in France for two years with my husband and his father. They were just starting a new business, meeting investors and such." She stared back out the window. "I love France, why would you ever leave such a beautiful place?" When I didn't answer, her eyes found mine and I felt her climbing over my walls like nothing. I looked away and cleared my throat. "You didn't leave, you ran."

She was very forward and it made me uncomfortable. I wanted to make my boundaries known, but also did not want her to start screaming again. "Here at New Beginnings facility we offer all sorts of amenities. There is a yoga class, a book club, a club for history lovers-"

"Your mask only works on those who do not know how to look past one. The family business thrived so well because we were good at reading people. You, my dear, ran from something, but I see it did not break you. You're a little weak, but that can be fixed." She spoke to me like she had no shame and no regard for my privacy. A very blunt woman with no filter. The door opened and my manager peaked in. I was about to tell him to call Sebi, but she surprised me. "I like this girl. She will be my caregiver."

"Wonderful!" Mr. Bernard sighed in relief. Of course, he was relieved, but I was not. I had a feeling she was going to be very trying on my patience, and my plate was already full with other guests. I will have to talk to him about lightening my load, which I hated to do but I was only one person. "I will have Miss LaRue help get you settled. She is one of our best and I am sure you two will get along splendidly."

I felt her staring at me again and looked up to see her intense curiosity. I was going to be hounded with questions and the more I evade I am sure the more she will actually find out. It made me eerie how she saw my mask so easily, and climbed over the walls that I thought were secure like it was a sport for her. Mrs. Maye is going to unravel all of my secrets if I am not careful.

It took about three hours to get her settled in. From giving her a better tour, showing her where she can sign up for classes and clubs, getting her things in her room unpacked and sorted. She didn't have much. A suitcase of clothes and a small bag of trinkets and pictures we organized around the room to make it feel more like home. Though you can only do so much when the floors and walls look too much like a hospital. Mrs. Maye seemed more interested in me than the facility as we walked around. Her eyes never left me while I talked, trying my best not to let the mask falter again.

"So Mrs. Maye, if you do not mind me asking, why are you here? I mean you don't seem to have any mobility issues, your file didn't say anything about dementia or any other illness that required around-the-clock care. To me you seem like a very healthy and capable woman." We sat in her room, Mrs. Maye sat at the corner of her bed and me on the chair by the small desk. She didn't seem to want to answer, but after a few silent moments, she did.

"I am healthy and have no problems taking care of myself, but my eldest grandson seems to think otherwise. Now that he is taking over the company from my son, God rest his soul, he does not want me in the way. I believe his exact words were 'I do not have time to wipe your ass or spoon feed you, and I do not want a live-in nurse.'" She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "That little bitch."

I had to try and hold in my laughter. I didn't grow up with grandparents, so sometimes it caught me off guard how they could be so blunt without a care in the world. Mrs. Maye had a very foul mouth, but somehow it did not seem vulgar coming from her. I understand her anger and resentment. Even though I do not have any pleasant memories with my family, I can't imagine doing something like this to someone I love. Then the red memory played through my mind. I have already done much worse.

Trying my best to shake off the thought, I focused back on Mrs. Maye. "Well, now that you are here I will try my best to make sure you enjoy it. There is no reason to waste your time being angry about something you cannot change. We will make the best of this situation and I am sure eventually you will come to like it here with us."

She studied me some more for a moment, probably looking for any hint that I was lying or just making empty promises. But that wasn't me. I liked my job and I liked the people I looked after. Mrs. Maye was going to be tough to hide from, but as long as my mask does not shake around her, I can handle anything she may throw at me. After a few tense moments, she just simply nodded. I left her to get comfortable in her room, while I left for the breakroom for lunch.

A few of the people I worked with were sitting at the round tables, chatting while enjoying their lunch. I was not close to anyone, but they were not strangers to me either. We were polite to one another, but I never saw them outside of work and never intended to. Keeping people at a distance made me feel safer. This is the longest I have ever stayed in one place, and if I ever need to pick up and go in a hurry, I don't need anyone close enough to me to ask questions.

After lunch, the rest of my day went by rather quickly. I tended to my other guests and checked on Mrs. Maye a few times. Like me, she preferred to be polite but keep to herself. 'I won't be here for long' she kept telling everyone, but they didn't believe her nor convince her otherwise. At one point, they all thought the same thing, but days turned to weeks, to months, to years, and they are still here. More than likely, time will go by and Mrs. Maye will be here still.

Heading home, I felt like I was being watched again. I looked down the street behind and ahead of me, looking for a familiar face, and I felt uneasy when I found one. But I rubbed my eyes and opened again and he was gone. It had to just be my nerves messing with me. I turned to walk to my bus stop and there was another familiar face seemingly waiting for me in casual clothes, Jacob's partner from last week. Swallowing my fear, I marched right up to him. Though he sat, he did not look less intimidating as I stood over him, pointing an accusatory finger in his face.

"What are you doing here? What do you want?" I whisper yelled at him. No one around seemed to care, lost in their phones or in their thoughts. He only stared up at me, expressionless and quiet. "Answer me." I growled impatiently.

"He is here because I asked him to be." A familiar voice came from behind me. I turned to see the officer from last week, Jacob. "Go get the truck, Frank. Thank you." Jacob took his partner's place on the bench and he sighed as he sat down, crossing one leg over the other and relaxing nonchalantly. "Adaline LaRue. Apart from a few jobs and an apartment a few miles from here, I couldn't find anything. Absolutely nothing before your appearance here. So, Adaline, who are you?"