A second chance at true love

Chapter 8 – You deserve a date.

She falls silent and looks at me. “Melissa’s mom? Why?”

“I just ask you if you have her number, that’s all.”

Sofia grabs her phone and I feel mine vibrate. “Forwarded the number, but why?” she asks again. “Do you think she’s pretty? Are you going to ask her out? Are you going to date her? She’s pretty huh!”

“Woah, calm down there with all your questions,” I laugh. Maybe a little piqued that I have to lie. I can’t tell my daughter that I think her best friend’s mother is pretty, can I? What is the code for this?

“I want her number and I want her to have mine in case something happens when you’re there or when you go to the store,” I answer.

“So you don’t think she’s pretty?” she asks.

“Why are you asking me that?”

She turns in her chair next to me and I feel her eyes burning on me.

“Melissa says that a lot of dads ask her mom out, that they think she’s pretty. She’s pretty though. She had six children and have you seen her figure? I hope I can have a figure like that at her age.”

I shake my head. “You’re beautiful Sofia,” I tell her and she blushes.

“I look like Mom,” She answers softly.

“Yes, but luckily I recognize myself in you too,” I answer and Sofia starts laughing.

“You know if you thought she was pretty... if you want to date her, you have to do it. You deserve to date. But Melissa is my best friend, so you have to behave! And not make things awkward.”

What? What does my girl say?

I look in the rearview mirror at the back seat. Gino nods as if he knows what that means at the age of twelve and Donato grins.

“What are you nodding at?” I ask Gino and he shrugs. “My father, errgg, I mean Paulo,” He cringes and I sigh. “It’s okay Gino, he’s your father,” I confirm it.

The words hurt in my heart and feel like sand in my mouth. Everyone in the car knows it, but this is the truth. “It’s okay if you call him that. I love you no less because of that,” I tell him. That is also the truth. I would still give my life for the boy.

He nods and smiles sadly. “What I wanted to say was that he also date. A lot, in fact,” Gino shrugs.

Three years after losing his so-called love of his life, the woman he really couldn’t live without... I restrain myself not to roll my eyes. This is mine and not the children’s.

Donato puts a hand on my shoulder. “You deserve to date, Sofia is right. You’ve been alone for so long. There was never any real love between you and mom. You said that yourself. She told you every time.” He lets go of me and shrugs as I look at him through the rearview mirror. “Let’s not go there too fast. I don’t have anyone in mind and there’s no one I like.” I tell the kids. Then we continue our way almost in silence, all three of them being sucked up by their phones.

Sofia goes upstairs, and Gino and Donato follow her. I pick up my phone. Who can I ask this sh*t? I used to always discuss everything with Enrico. But Enrico is exactly our father and he has all the bad qualities deeply rooted in him. Christina talks to him about it, but that’s never going to change.

I recognize it because I had the same thing and Zita complained about it over and over again. I was too quiet, too serious, I looked too angry. This would not be good for the children and so on.

Then she got sick and I noticed how my children, like I used to with my own father, were careful in telling things. So Enrico is no longer my go-to person, for a lot of things I still go to him, but not for this kind of thing.

Valerio and Jenna don’t have children, something I know Valerio finds very difficult. He always shouted the loudest of all that he wanted a big family. They compensate with the love for all their nephews and nieces who are allowed to come and stay whenever they want, for years.

But I don’t know if this is a question I can ask him.

The only one who can help me with this, without her pushing too much is Valentina. Even though our contact was difficult at first. Since I blamed her husband for everything. We were able to make up for it and she and Zita were very good friends. At least that’s what I thought.

Me: What should I do if my own child says she understands if I were dating?

I put my phone away. Valentina has seven children, twins twice. She’s always working on something.

Tina: hahaha What happened?

Surprised at her quick answer, I pick up the phone again.

Me: On the way back, S asked if I thought Meredith was pretty and that she would understand if I dated her? D told me I deserved it.

I see the dots appear and leave.

Tina: Meredith is pretty! She's gorgeous!

I roll my eyes.

Me: That’s not the point! The thing is, why does my daughter say she’s okay with me dating Meredith?

Tina: Ask Sofia what she means. You and Zita had it sh*tty. What if this is your chance for real love? Meredith is beautiful, really sweet, a strong woman, and super smart.

I run a hand through my hair and over my face and sigh. To say that Zita and I had it sh*tty is an understatement. Getting married without love, but based on status is really the stupidest thing I’ve ever let myself be talked into. My dad still apologizes for it every time I see him.

“Dad?” I look up and see Sofia in her pajamas downstairs. I put my phone away.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. Sofia is never insecure and her attitude screams uncertainty.

“next week I’m going to look for a dress with Melissa and her mom, but after that, I would also like to go shopping, is that okay?”

I frown and walk over to the couch. “What do you need? You never asked me if that’s okay. What’s wrong?” The nerves go through my body. What kind of sh*t is this?

She shrugs and comes to sit next to me. “I never thought about it before. I needed something and Mom bought it, Mom and I went shopping every week. Aunt Valentina and Aunt Christina go with the girls every two weeks and I’ll go with them, but..” She sighs, “It’s different and I enjoy shopping with Melissa and Meredith.”

I think about the words. “Do you want us to go shopping more often?” I ask. She starts laughing and shakes her head. “No, Dad, I know how much you hate shopping.”

I put my hand on her knee. “Princess, I’ll do everything for you. If I have to wear rosy cheeks and red lipstick every week because you like to put it on my face, I’ll do that.” I remind her of the past and the pictures we have of it.

She starts laughing harder. “I know Dad. God, I love those moments when I could do anything and I was your princess.” She sighs.

“You’re still my princess, sweetheart. Nothing or no one makes you less of a princess!” I promise her and pull her against me. And I do my best not to cry with happiness when she doesn’t push me away but keeps leaning against me. “Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re hurting me.”

“Ow sorry.” I let go of my daughter and she sits up.

“Are you happy?” she asks.

“Where did that suddenly come from?” I ask. I think I’m happy.

She shrugs. “Never mind. Maybe another time?” she asks. I nod. “And that shopping with Melissa and her mom?” she asks.

I nod to her that it’s okay, but when she wants to leave I stop her.

“Why do you like Melissa and her mom better than your aunts?”

She bites her lip nervously.

“You know you can tell me anything Sofia, anything. You, Donato, and Gino always come first,” I tell her. I hope I don’t push her too much and that our conversation is over and she runs back upstairs grumpy because I’m that clumsy dad again.

She nods cautiously and sighs. “They treat me like your daughter. They’re really sweet and pay attention to me, but it’s different than when Mom was around,” She shakes her head. “When I’m with Melissa and Meredith,” she shrugs. “Then we laugh, have a drink somewhere, eat a sandwich or ice cream, I’m just Sofia and it’s only about you when I’m wearing something and she thinks it’s too exposed.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask. Curious about the enthusiasm Sofia has when she talks about shopping with Melissa and her mom. I can see in her eyes that she’s enjoying it.

“Yeah, she always asks ‘Would your father let you go to school like that?’ Then I already know enough. The answer to that question is always no,” She laughs. “With them, I’m Sofia. Meredith never asks if we eat vegetables every day, if I need help with my homework if the boys need help. Or about certain female topics.” She shakes her head again.

“Meredith always asks how I’m doing, then she also asks how my brothers are doing and how you’re and then it’s just about me again. And if I want to ask about the female body, she just responds,” She shrugged, “Like it’s normal. Aunt Valentina came to hug me when I told her I had had my first period,” She rolls her eyes.

My heart beats in my throat. She had a what now!? Why don’t I know this sh*t!?

I look at her and she realizes she just said that. Her eyes get big and this is such a subject that you have to tread very carefully. One wrong thing and she storms upstairs and everything is done.

I nod to my daughter and sigh. I know I will have to discuss this with the ladies. I get the ladies, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt that they doubt I’d get my life back in order. They never ask me if I can help with their homework or if I can cook food. F*cking vegetables.

“Then I hope you have a lot of fun with them next week, I’d drop you off there right?” I ask and Sofia nods. I see the twinkle in her eyes. She’s happy.

She comes to hug me. These are the best moments. Even though my daughter is sixteen. These are the best moments.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Always princess. Always.”